Polliwogs To Shellbacks!

                   A long, loud blast of the ship’s horn woke everyone from whatever reverie they were captured in at the time. Some (most) were at the Bar, many were sunbathing around the pool, the card and board games were being furiously being played in the unused dining room, and there were still quite a few having “Second Lunch” in the Horizon Court. The time was 1500 hours, or ‘Six bells’ into the Fourth “Afternoon” Watch or, if you insist, at 3:00 pm local time.

                             King Neptune and his Court had arrived from the Deep, sensing a ship about to cross the Equator with an unusually large number of possible Crossers that still need to be initiated or found worthy, as it were.  

                             Hauled, pushed, bound and tied, some kicking and screaming, we were herded into his Courtroom, hastily convened out by the Lido Deck Pool. Being the wise King that he is, he realized that with this many Polliwogs needing to be put on ‘Trial’, a representative batch of the passengers was needed…. so that the trial did not last until we reached Tahiti, still two Sea Days away!

                             This assemblage of unworthy, uninitiated, guilty until proven guilty, (NO ONE was found innocent!) was called poolside and it was there that they faced the reality of our collective felonies and dealt their fates.

                             Charges such as Gluttony were leveled at them with a narrative that was hard to argue against, ……”You have been accused of sneaking up to Horizon Court for Breakfast, then going down to the Dining Room for another Breakfast, returning to Horizon Court for mid-morning snacks, then on to the Good Spirits Bar for ‘Elevensies’, back to Horizon Court for Lunch, then back down to the Dining Room for served Lunch, returning to Horizon Court for another dessert, grabbing a slice of Pizza and a Burger and Fries poolside, then on to Afternoon Tea and Scones, back to Horizon Court for a pre-dinner snack, then reporting to the Provence Dining Room for Dinner and when finished, going down a deck and sneaking into the Bordeaux Dining Room for anther Dinner.”

                             “How do you Plead?’

                             Knowing that these charges leveled against the representative group of our fellow passenger were in fact very true, we, the jury (and by extension the Accused at the same time) yelled out even before the Accused could get out a reply,

Guilty!

Guilty!

Guilty!

They didn’t stand a chance. The ‘Malicious Barber’ and ‘Conniving Surgeon’ were summoned to exact upon them whatever Punishment was deemed appropriate.

          A concoction of whipped cream, ‘oodles’ of spaghetti (with loads of sauce!) and some other unidentifiable ingredients were dumped, smeared, or otherwise “offered” to, and on, them.

                             A raucous Cheer erupted from the Crowd! We were thankful that we were not among our fellow passengers that received their punishment!

                             The crew did not escape unscathed either. A representative of them was duly charged, found guilty, and then marched (thrown) into the pool…. Officer’s Uniform and all!

                             Eventually all were found to be worthy. We (the previous Polliwogs) were now accorded the title of ‘Worthy’ Shellbacks and allowed to pass over the Equator relatively unscathed.

                             If you know your Geography, you realize that we will need to cross the equator again in order to return to our homes which are conveniently located in the Northern Hemisphere! Apparently, there are other ‘Levels’ to be attained as one makes more and more crossings. We will have at least two crossings to our name after this cruise. It also means that if we take on passengers in Sydney (the beginning of another leg of this Voyage) and they are indeed Polliwogs, we can safely observe and be confident in our new “Shellback” status!