Tahiti

We owe all of you a refund.

                             You were booked on the Discover Tahiti’s Papenoo Valley, Countless Waterfalls, and Lush Interior by Four-Wheel Drive Excursion.

                             In fairness, the description of this Excursion was rated Strenuous, but hey, how ‘strenuous’ can it be, to be a passenger in a vehicle?

                   We will let you know as soon as we get out of Traction for our backs and other assorted bodily maladies.

                   Who knew that they described this Excursion accurately? Usually, they over rate them so that no one can say that they weren’t warned. And besides….. there wasn’t any sun! I have yet to see a Travel Brochure of Tahiti that didn’t have Bright Blue Sunny Skies and palm trees swaying in the balmy South Pacific breezes.

                   “But Don, how do you think that these Islands get so lush and green? Osmosis? Photoshop? or just plain good ol’ Chamber of Commerce marketing?”

                   Yea…. but still!

                   We wanted the ‘Brochure Look’!

So, I have no photos of the aforementioned attributes of Tahiti for you to peruse through. What I do have is some pretty cool sights, albeit without the bright blue Tropical Skies, etc.  prominently featured.

The day started promising. Some strategically placed clouds shrouding the peaks of the mountains with just enough mystery to make them noteworthy. The morning was rather sunny, until we started our journey up the coast to the Papenoo Valley that works its way into the interior of the major volcano that forms Tahiti.

Yes, these Islands follow a similar path that the Hawaiian Islands do. They travel over a “Hot Spot” in the Earth’s crust and in a few million years, and Poof! Out pops an Island!   

(Remember your ‘Plate Tectonics’ lesson from a few posts ago?) 😊      

                   Our driver, Hutu, was a full-blooded Tahitian with English as his third language after Tahitian, (a Polynesian dialect) French, (this is French Polynesia) and then English. He was very friendly and did his best to teach us about everything that we were seeing, especially all of the tropical plants, along with their myriads of uses that the Islanders have discovered over the centuries of living here. We made numerous stops along the road (?) that we were on. He would screech to a halt, jump out, and run into the bush, reappearing with some green thing that we were first quizzed on, and then told exactly what it was.

There will be no quiz on the flora of this Island as I did not pay that much attention…. they were vegetables.

          Oh……did I mention that it was the Rainy Season? All I can say is that it was a good thing that our Tahitian “Road-Warrior Beach Buggy” had a roof over the eight of us crammed into the back of it. It rained (poured?) several times as we whizzed over the potholes that cratered the access road. Interestingly, we did pass a few crews doing some weed-whacking work.

          Way out there.

          They were doing a wonderful job and it looked great!

          Back home we can’t get the major roads looking this good!

The waterfalls were impressive, it just would have been more impressive if they had been sparkling in some South Seas Sunlight!

But, they weren’t. That’s not Hutu’s fault, nor is it the Tour Operator’s, so we all made the best of it by cracking appropriate jokes along the way as only four couples suffering in similar circumstances can. Here’s one of our issues….

                   Long, four+ hour trip.

                   Bumpy roads.

                   Average age of 65+

                   No bathrooms.

          Did I mention Bumpy Roads and Old Bladders?     

It’s a good thing I’m a guy with an expensive camera that went looking for “Photo Ops” down the road! I’m the only one that did not make a beeline for the bathroom upon our return!

After we arrived back at the ship, had lunch, and put our spines back together, we took a walk around town a bit. There are the usual markets and other places of business that you will find in a regular city. I say ‘regular’ because that’s just what it is. To many, many people this is just home. It’s where they work and play. Yes, these cities are tourist destinations, but to really get a feel for anywhere you need to get into the countryside. But it felt good to just walk upright and not be bouncing around!

          So, that was our day yesterday. Today we travel the twelve or so miles across the sea to Moorea, the sister Island to Tahiti. The weather looks a tad more promising, and we exchanged our excursion from another Four-Wheel Escapade for a nice, relaxing, lunch outing on a boat destined for a hopefully bright and sunny beach with little colorful fishies nibbling at our toes.    

          As usual, you will be the first to know.

And you can contact the fine folks at the Chatterbox Travel Agency for your refunds.

 Just call 1-800-FAT-CHANCE.