Month: October 2024

This will probably be the last installment of Motorhome 101 as I feel that I am scraping the bottom of the barrel (as will be plainly realized in a few moments) for the dregs of anything that may be of interest on this topic. Living in the motor home in-between Travels is just like living in your house except that in our case, we need to pull up anchor about every eight days or so and travel four miles down the road to the local State Park where the Dump Station is located.

                        This is the subject that most people want to know about (just like asking the astronauts “How do you go to the bathroom in space?”) but are hesitant to ask. In our case, we are more fortunate than the astronauts because we have gravity working for us and a “regular” facility, a.k.a. “bathroom”, works just fine. In our case we have two of them on board. One is a half bath located in the center and the second is a full bath (shower) and it also holds our washer and dryer. All of these attributes do make it a bit easier to live full-time in here.

                        “Hey Don, we noticed that you skipped over the part about where all the you-know-what goes!”

                        Well alrighty then all you members of the local Sewerage and Sanitary Facility Committee, here, to satisfy your inquisitories is your answer!

                        We have Holding Tanks.

                        Two of them to be exact. One is the “Gray” Water Tank which holds the used water from the sinks, shower, and washing machine. The second is aptly named the “Black” Water Tank which hold the “water” and other “stuff” from the toilets. These two tanks obviously have a “Holding Capacity” which is roughly half of what our Fresh Water Tank holds for each one. So, if we were totally out on our own for a few days, the 90-gallon fresh water would eventually end up in the 45-gallon Black Tank and the 45-gallon Gray Tank.

                        “Ok, got it Donny, but then what? Where does all this stuff ultimately wind up?”

                        That, my friends is the million-dollar question with the $10.00 to $25.00 answer. Because that’s what it costs us to utilize a Dump Station if we are not staying in an RV Park. Or there are some free ones, usually at a few Rest Stops on the Interstates. Alabama takes First Prize in the Most Awesomest Rest Areas competition not only because they all have Dump Stations but because they are staffed 24-hours a day and manicured to the hilt when it comes to Groundskeeping.

                        Now comes the yucky part but if you’ve ever changed the diaper on a baby you’ve got nothing to fear my friends as this event uses long tubular hoses to accomplish what you did with Wipes and a smelly diaper pail. Just rinse things out when you’re finished, wash your hands, and be on your way. It’s that simple and definitely not a big deal.

                        Next let me show you the layout of our particular motor home. While there are similarities in motor home layout, there are obviously ways to design things differently depending on the size, it’s primary usage, and of course, the manufacturer.

Ours is fairly standard and has two slide-outs. One is just the width of the bed, and the other is one of the largest in the industry and it takes up almost the entire length of the passenger side of the vehicle. This is the one that’s actually too large as its size makes it inherently heavy, therefore putting undue strains on its motors. We make sure that ours is brought in and out only while we are “leveled” as a kanked motor home would just bind up the system. This is the one that makes us nervous! But look at the extra room it provides!

                        Back in the day, before the slide-outs were developed (early 1990’s) only the width of the motorhome could be utilized for anything. This was not as bad as it seems as the interiors were designed for those space constraints. I was in an impressive 1986 Bluebird (the bus manufacturer) Wanderlodge a few months ago and it was excellent! Actually, it was to the point where I did not really miss the slide-outs because the design of the interior was really functional and easy to be in.

                        But we do have slide-outs. Ours, and all the newer ones, are designed to utilize these space-extensions to the max. It really does make a difference, especially now that we are used to having them. A few weeks ago, you may recall our Slide-Out Issue when we were up in Montana which did not get rectified until five weeks later when we pulled into Country Classic Auto and RV Repair in Sussex, New Jersey. We squeezed by each other, walked sideways around the front of the bed and were not able to open the fridge door all the way. All of this was a bother, none of it decreased our travel plans as we were still fully functional.

                                    That just about wraps up our Motorhome 101 class for the foreseeable future. (I can hear the sighs of relief coming through the speakers on my laptop! ) But just in case any of you are contemplating a purchase of anything like this, please feel free to contact us and we can help you with any questions that you may have.    

                                    And then we can say, “Hey, let’s meet in Tucson this winter!” We promise you’ll like it there!

                        A couple of weeks ago I presented to you Motorhome 101, a primer for a look into how we live in and work on our 40’ Winnebago Forza and I promised a second installment in this series about actually living inside of this house on wheels.

                                    As promised, presented here, for your collective enjoyment and because, (as the National Enquirer so simply put it) “Inquiring Minds Want To Know!”

                                    The facts: at least the ones that come to mind….

                        Downsizing. This was a real issue as we do not have a condo or apartment or anything else like that to keep “stuff”. We do have a small metal shed at our pad in Texas next to the corral. In it we have some random items like paint, umbrellas, car ramps, bicycles, and just the odd item that is not needed inside the motorhome. That’s it. The only other place we have anything is in the trailer that I bought in the beginning to hold my Library (books, artifacts, furniture, etc.) for when the day comes that you don’t want a couple of old withered senior citizens wheeling around a 28,000-pound behemoth of a vehicle running over peeps in the Walmart parking lot. This trailer is parked in Colorado at my daughter’s place as the humidity there is in the negative numbers 😊(or so it seems!) which is wonderful for books!

                                    Deciding what to bring along with us was actually made easier by the fact that practically nothing else will fit except the bare essentials!

                                    When you have an initial X amount of internal cubic feet of space and obviously some of that will be used by things like seating, bed, bathrooms, kitchen counters, washer and dryer, etc. you quickly find out that your CFOSFUBFS (pronounced see-fos-foo-boofs) or Cubic Feet Of Storage For Unnecessary But Fun Stuff is nowhere near what you were hoping that it would be! This leads to the wailing and gnashing of teeth as you try and separate the items (that you had hoped to bring along!) into yet more piles of decisions.

            This process requires certain negotiating skills usually reserved for the AFL-CIO and Solomon. Deal-Breakers soon become obvious and how you make sure that you obtain the Allotted Space For Your Favorite Items, ASFYFI (pronounced as-fife-ee) will determine how happy you will be for the rest of your life.

                                    Paula’s Non-Negotiable Arena included practically everything that was contained in her kitchen in the house, including the kitchen sink! (which fortunately, the motor home was equipped with already!) Luckily, we found a model that exemplifies the Utilization of Confined Spaces, and we were able to bring every item from the kitchen that she wanted! Except the dishwasher, and for that I was re-commissioned Director of Post-Culinary Suds Implementation. Luckily for me I was brought up in the restaurant industry and I possess a Ph.D. in this area. Paula used every available cubic inch of storage in the kitchen area to the point where we can have even the largest pots, pans, mixers, crock pots, and the like along with us. NASA has been studying her techniques for better practices aboard the International Space Station.

Happy chefs make exquisite meals!

            For me, it was a little more difficult.

            My aforementioned Library is something that transcends what would be considered a normal relationship with a defined space. So, in order to “negotiate” what I wanted to bring along, I proposed that we gut the motor home, re-do the interior with nice oak shelves, a tongue and groove wooden floor complete with an oriental rug and furniture. It would have been very comfortable!

                                    What I got was one (1) book affixed to the wall and eventually I found some here-to-for unknown space that the engineers missed, and I converted that into a few shelves!

                                    I was a little more successful when it came to bringing along my tools. I had an incredible workshop contained in the garage. It was full bay and a half of (it’s a guy thing) equipment that was organized to the hilt, and I could produce or repair just about anything out of it. Now, carrying tools along with us is quite essential and there are some regular maintenance items that I take care of, but there is always something else that needs fixing. Just like a home where a door gets sticky, a window jams, trim needs painting, (the list is as long as any terrestrial home, but ours moves constantly making these tweaks needed more frequently) all of these types of items need to be dealt with more sooner than later as they really get bad as we bump along the roadways.

                        This is where the basement comes in.

                        Yes, we do have a basement and that is exactly what it is called in the vernacular of the RV industry. And this is where what type of unit you have, Class A, B, C, (Diesel or Gas), 5th Wheel, or pull-along makes a difference because only a Class A Diesel Pusher has the room for a large area underneath. They all have storage and some more than others, but by design, the Diesel Pusher Coach has the most. And we use it!

                        On my side of the basement is the Tool Area and that is jam-packed with essentials (at least in my mind they are). Mind you, not all of it is used in the maintenance of the motorhome. Some of the items are used because I seem to find “projects” to do or help with wherever we go and having just the right TBT (testosterone boosting tool) can make all the difference!

                        The final major area of shoehorning came with a need (mine) for a hobby center of sorts. There is a practical side to this space as it is not used exclusively for model building and the like. It is also the Repair Center for anything that breaks in the motor home to random grandkids favorite toy fixed or someone’s priceless Ming Vase that needs repair. This was planned from the beginning in that we knew that we needed a motor home that had “bunk beds” as one of the features. I had seen some articles on how these beds were removed and the space converted into an office (for full-timers that still worked) to our preferred Hobby Center.

                                    I must say that I think that we did an outstanding job in the conversion of this space!

                                    Anyway, we only lost two sleeping berths that were never going to be used anyway! The brochure says that this motorhome sleeps eight.

Eight what?

Gerbils?

Could we squeeze more folks in here?

Sure we could.

Would any of those folks (especially us) be happy?

Absolutely not!

The reality of this scenario would have someone sleeping with their head inches from the paper-thin bathroom door and someone else curled (?) up in what was once the dinette that barely holds the two of us. So, in case you are thinking about an RV-type vehicle, and you have anyone in your family over the age of twelve, you should probably opt for extra tents or just go to a Resort where you have gobs of room!

But for two…… this works just fine!

                        Father Damien stopped by after we pulled in yesterday, more on that in a minute.

                        We’re back here in Texas after three full days of traveling and two nights spent in two new spots. Yes, we can now add the Walmart Parking Lot of Vicksburg, Mississippi and the Cracker Barrel of Abingdon, Virginia to the list of Parking Lots We Have Known.

 Both were nice and quiet.

Usually the Cracker Barrel lots are, but it is uncommon for the Walmart Lots to be so still. It seems that in order to qualify to be a real Walmart Parking Lot, one must possess several attributes, among those being:

• located adjacent to a railway that runs all night
•  have the overnight Walmart employees drive vehicles with bad exhaust systems that rival NASCAR racing cars on the decibel rating scale,
• and of course, be lit by parking lot lighting that equals the sun in ability to flood an area with lumens. This last one is obviously not bad, it’s just hard to find a position that won’t have those intense little light particles finding their way into our windows. We love to sleep with the windows directly next to our heads open allowing those sleep-lulling breezes to infiltrate our room.

Anyway, this Vicksburg Walmart has been relatively quiet since the Battle back in 1863 and had only the aforementioned lights to contend with, so as Mr. Meatloaf sang, “two outa three ain’t bad!”

When we stop in these places, or in an Interstate Rest Area, there are a few taboos that must be acknowledged, and the most important one is….. Don’t Set Up Camp! We do not run out our large slide-out, put the awnings down, drag out the folding chairs and cook on the BBQ when we’re there. The MOST that we do is run out the small slide-out that basically just holds the headboard of the bed and those nice little windows.

That’s it.

We are there only to “overnight” and to do anything else would violate the understanding between the Establishments and the Traveling Public.

            The daytime portions of the trip went flawlessly.

Well, kind of.

If you take out the “Get Off the Interstate and Detour Down a Very Narrow Country Road with all of the Tractor Trailers Coming the Other Way almost causing Our Collective Side Mirrors to Collide” because there was an awful crash on the other side of the highway (that closed the entire Interstate 81 for over twelve hours) then all went well! The fuel stops were efficient, and the roadways were relatively smooth as we are now getting to experience the fruits of all the roadway projects that have been holding us up over the last few years. We cannot extend to you the seeming endless construction projects that we travel through from Point A to Point B ….. and they are all sorely needed! As comfortable as it is to drive Miss Biggie, we need to remember that she is basically a Freightliner Truck underneath, not a Lincoln Town Car, and behaves accordingly. Sometimes I wonder how she holds it all together as we pass over Potholes of Magnificent Proportions and the like.

                        So, now back to Father Damien.

                        We backed into our dedicated spot here at Danny and Kaitie’s homestead, dropped anchor and went outside only to find our little patch of well-cared for lawn all askew.

We were scratching our heads and trying to figure out what’s going on, when this old guy wearing an old brown robe and sandals, saunters up to us, looks over the affected area, shook his head and said,

“Don’t ya worry, just don’t kiss ‘em.”

                                                            What?

                                                “Yea, just don’t kiss ‘em or anything like that and you’ll be jes fine.”

                                                            Kiss  who?

                                                “The ‘dillas, don’t handle the ‘dillas an’ ya won’t get it.”

                                                            Get what?

                                                “Leprosy, ya can’t get the lep unless ya handle ‘em.”

                                                            Handle what???

                                                “The dilla’s…. the Arm-a-dill-a’s!

He then walked away saying that he was on his way back to the island of Molokai and wished us well with dealing with our new Invaders of the Lawn.

                                    It seems that armadillos are the only animal species besides humans to be able to host the bacterium that causes Leprosy.

And they’re here in Texas.

Of course they are!

Along with giant spiders and scorpions, and tornadoes, and wild boars that invade like locusts, and…. well, you get my drift!

But have no fear! Only 20% of armadillos carry this baddie and 95% of humans have an immune system strong enough to combat it, so add those numbers together and the chances get pretty small for contracting Leprosy.

                                    Still…. we will not be handling the little cuties when we try and thwart their efforts to decimate the remainder of our lawn!

                                    So back we are, ready for numerous doctor’s appointments and my List of Important Things keeps getting longer and longer as I remember what those jobs/maintenance items are that need to be done (mainly on Miss Biggie). If you would like to help just show up any morning, I’ve got all the tools so no need to drag them along. Today’s lesson will be “How to Sand Off Rust on the Chassis and Apply Rust Inhibitor to Help Prevent Future Issues.” Wear old clothes.

                        

                        One more day here in the East before we will be winging our way back to Texas. Winging, of course, is a matter of perspective as Miss Biggie is far from being svelte and therefore aerodynamic…… but “Shhh…” don’t tell her that…. she’s quite proud of the way she looks!      

Especially after her recent bath and polish.

            I’ll get into all of that and more in this Intro to Motorhomes 101 post designed primarily for the spate of newer Post Followers that we have accumulated along the way. For all of you folks that have the “Original Milage” under your belts, you may be excused but don’t be surprised if there’s a “Pop Quiz” somewhere along the way and then you’ll wish that you had taken this refresher course!

                                    Let’s start at the beginning and I’ll refer to the question that most people ask or start with and that has to do with fuel and/or milage.

                                                No.

It’s not good….. but…. we don’t drive 24/7 or anything close to that. Most of our time is spent just like you guys…. at “home”. Our advantage is that “home” is wherever we are!

                                                Yes.

About 90 gallons….. but…. we fill up around once a day and there are no hotel bills to account for (unless we are staying at a RV campground or resort, which comes from a different side of our accounting brains because that’s when we’re on vacation, not just everyday living.) And where this process takes place can definitely have a bearing on that “accounting” process because of the sheer volume of the purchase. Brand, proximity to the highway, and even the State are all factors that our Navigator/ Head Bean Counter, Miss Paula, considers when trying to find a convenient place to re-fuel. Convenient is key here as we are towing our Lifeboat (Honda CRV) and if you thought navigating a 40’ bus was challenging, go ahead and add another 20’ or so and throw in the extra disadvantage of it being impossible to put it into reverse when we are hooked up to the Honda, and you will now know how critical it is for us to be absolutely sure that when we pull into a filling station that we will be able to maneuver around all of the pumps and other vehicles without having to do any jockeying around!

We (Paula) use a special app called “Gas Buddy” that has most of the prices for fuel at service stations along the way. From there we take a look at where it is located on our GPS, and if we need further scrutiny, we look at the “Satellite” view of the map and see if there is enough room at the pumps for all of the maneuvering that we need.

                                    This is our least favorite time of the day.

                                    But it is usually only once a day as we rarely drive more in one day than our 90 gallons times an average of 9 mpg can get us.

                                    “Nine Miles per gallon! Is that all you get???”

                                    Yes, Mr. Aerodynamic Engineer, we are driving a big clunky shoebox, not an almost invisible-to-friction Lamborghini!

                                    And the faster we go, the poorer we become and it’s not because of the motor going too fast (she hums along at 2000 rpm nicely at about 70 MPH) it’s because of that friction.

Let’s play that kids game of hands out the window cruising down our local side street at 35 mph…. arms and hands stay outstretched without too much effort, which requires strength to overcome the force of the air on us. That Strength is our “motor” or effort needed to counter the aforementioned. Now let’s slip out of the local streets and hit the Parkway on the way to the shore…. Same hand/arm game at 65 (hah!) mph has that kid’s arm being pinned to the trunk and it takes every effort not to be pulled from the vehicle!

                                    This illustrates how air moves around slower moving objects and gets out of the way without too much effort (which uses fuel). Now, let’s up the MPH and see how that air does not move nicely out of the way, instead it gathers up in front of us making us use a lot more effort (fuel) to push through this bunched up air. Unless of course we are that Lamborghini who slips through the air before that air even knows that it’s there!

                                    And we are that proverbial “shoebox” of non-aerodynamicalness (spell-check definitely does not like that word!) that resists any form of forward movement which is an issue because that’s how we travel. Hence the balancing of time needed to get from A to B, then needed speed, and finally, the cost of a gallon of fuel.

Notice I said Fuel.

It’s not gas, we don’t gas up.

                                                It’s fuel, as in Diesel.

                                                We need to be cognizant of this as we’d be laughed out of the truck stops and made to give back our giant western belt buckles if we walked in and announced we’re here to get “gas”.

                        The other factor in mileage comes from Mother Nature herself and the “winds” that she throws at us. The windier it is, the more effort is needed to keep us traveling straight and true. All important variables. It seems that we never get a tailwind which would help us along. Nooo… it’s always a headwind or lateral winds that we encounter. And traveling out West where the horizon is visible millions of miles away which gives Mr. Wind a really goodly amount time to get barreling along…. Interstate 10 in western Texas has lateral winds that can clock in at 40mph! That is when we wish that the motorhome was equipped like an airplane with two sets of steering apparatus available!

                                                That about sums up the Fuel Economy portion of this lesson. Let’s move on to some more rewarding albeit more tiring aspects of this venture… washing and waxing this behemoth.

                                    First, I need to express some exasperation that I’m sure is more imagined than real and that is the apparent condition of every other Motorhome on the highway. To me, they all look like they just rolled off the showroom floor, all clean, chrome dazzling in the sunlight, nor a speck of road dust to be found….

                                    Then there’s us.

                                    Sometimes I feel like the Beverly Hillbillies rattling down the road in an old clunker. I try to rationalize our apparent state of being saying to myself (and anyone else that will listen)…..

“Hey! We do this full-time! We don’t have a garage to keep it in, we drive all the time, not just for a long weekend or weeks’ vacation and then have our “guy” come over and spiff it all up again!”

                                    I’m that guy.

                                    And this thing is big!

                                    And it’s mostly black which means that if I try and wash it in the sun…. well, that’s just a recipe for disaster. So, I try and wash one side in the morning (Western side) and the other (Eastern) in the afternoon. Cloudy (non-rainy) days are my best friends as I can wash at any time! And yes, I’ve even stood out there in the rain because the rinse is “Rainwater Soft” and does not give me as many “spots” when dry as the hose does. And there’s nothing worse than having waters pots on an otherwise clean surface!

                                    But I get them all the time.

                                    Do you know how to get rid of them?

                                    By hand.

                                    Spray detailer in one hand, microfiber cloth in the other. There’s approximately 1000 square feet of exterior that needs to be gone over by hand. And half of it needs to be done on a ladder.

                                                But…. when it’s done there’s nothing better than cruising down the Interstate in a gleaming torpedo of a vehicle!

                                                But…. the slightest little, 10 second, drizzle will make that effort all for naught.

                                                That is why since Miss Biggie is now all spiffed up ready for her trip back to Texas, we will be taking the northern route via Canada to get back home because there’s some rain forecasted for Alabama and we ain’t gonna go through that!

                                                That’s enough for now….

                                         Next lesson will be about living in this thing!

Thanks for reading  😊

                        Depending on when you read this, we have sixty days until our ‘Round South America Voyage on the Majestic Princess embarks. This means that there are a few things you need to get in order so that you don’t hold up the ship’s departure from Los Angeles and have all of the other passengers be mad at you!

                        But, no worries, they won’t get mad because the ship WILL NOT WAIT FOR YOU!

                        For those of you that have joined the Blog since our last big cruise, the World Cruise of 2023, we will be going over some of the requirements and customs of these extended voyages. For those of you that were on board with us for the 111-Day Cruise, relax because this one is a mere 51-days, so a little less of everything will be needed.

                        Back to that statement of Non-Waiting by the ship.

It’s true.

Everything that you’ve heard or read about passengers being left behind in strange ports by cruise lines is 100% true. (You will find that upon further investigation that the fault lies with those dawdling passengers) So, the Pre-Dinner Entertainment of lining the rails with our umbrella beverages in hand, waiting to cheer on the desperately late-running passengers will still be a highlight of our everyday routine!             

Except Sea Days for the obvious reasons! On those days we will be entering the Passenger Pool of Betting on which “Fell Asleep in the Sun” sunburn is the best (?)                  

  (Stop in the Casino for entry forms.)

            As for what to pack…..

                                                Fortunately, we have gained Elite Level status with Princess Cruise Lines which entitles us to (among other benefits) free laundry services! So, depending on how many other passengers on this voyage have this status, will determine how many days of clothes we need to bring along.

                                                Explanation.

                        Let’s take the average 7-to-14-day cruise for example. The percentage of Elite passengers compared to the rest of the passengers is quite low so the staff that handles this particular Laundry Service has less to do on any given day, therefore ensuring that the turn-around time for your undies is no more than one or two days.

                        Now let’s go on one of these longer voyages where everyone is old and retired and has been cruising since Columbus started this rage back in ’92. Lots of folks are in the Elite Level making that workload down in the laundry room just a tad more intense. What do you think that LDF (Laundry Delay Factor) is now? Rumor has it that on the World Cruise the wait-time for returning garments hovered around four days!

Heavens! What’s a person to do?

You can always wash a few things out in the sink, but they frown on you drying stuff out on your balcony….. you know, unsightly privates being blown about the other decks is not what people signed up for. So, packing enough of everything, whilst balancing your specific wardrobe needs will be the Computation Task of Maximum Proportions before you set sail. I usually like to take a few different shawls with me to add some variety to my basic ensembles… Oh wait… that’s Paula! Not me!

            I, on the other hand, would like nothing better than having several different style tuxedos for evening attire.      

            With matching vests of course.

This course of Wardrobe Management was immediately vetoed not because there was no room on board for such things (there’s tons of storage). Nay, this idea was jettisoned because there was no room in the budget not only for the procurement of several Tuxedos but also because (for example) on the World Cruise it would have cost us over $400.00 to ship one large suitcase back home if Harold and Sherry had not agreed to transport it from one side of Florida to the other and have it wait for us to pick it up in the future when we visited.  

            So, few khakis and polo shirts will suffice nicely.

Let’s move on to the next best thing about these Cruises (other than the Chocolate Desserts every night!) that being the Excursions in each Port. While it’s fun to just be on the ship every day scanning the horizon for whales and Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearl, finding our way ashore and exploring foreign ports is just as exciting.

After gaining experience on the World Cruise with the negatives (all those old folks with Mobility Devices clogging up the gangway) and figuring out that the best way to experience a port may very well be on a tour with just a few members (rather than a busload of forty of your new best friends) we have opted for quite a few ports being booked with Tours By Locals. So, get ready for some really fine adventures as you all will be accompanying us on these Tours. With any luck there will be ample availability of Photographic Opportunities as I have an additional year of experience under my belt (or camera strap). This will hopefully provide you with that Armchair Travel Experience that you signed up for!  

So, please send photocopies of your passports, (no visas required on this trip) and also proof of your rabies and distemper vaccinations and we’ll be sure to file them with the authorities as soon as we stow away on board, er, I mean, check in with the Slave Galley staff.

            Someone has to row!

Sixty Days and counting……..