The ‘Search’ for Retirement

We leave for “Home” a little later this morning. The weather has finally settled down and should soon be returning to “Texas Normal”.

          No more ice, snow, or frigidly low temperatures.

          At least for the present.

          We’ve been on this truncated  journey now for six days. If that stupid alternator hadn’t crapped out on us, we would have been able to put precious miles behind us last Saturday and escape westward.

          But no, that didn’t happen.

          Good thing we’re retired!

          That particular concept hadn’t really sunk in until this past week. The ability to do absolutely nothing (except survive) for that length of time has escaped me my entire life.

          Not even on vacation did I ever do nothing.

          No lying around on the beach.

          No naps.

          No not doing nothin!

          I was always doing something.

          Not this past week. For six days I did nothing. Nothing of consequence mind you. Nothing that made any difference to anything or anybody. Nothing that positively progressed the position of mankind one iota.

          Nothing.

          Except watch movies, play cards, and walk around Walmart looking for Monster Energy Drinks which I am happily addicted to.

           It was a futile search.

          The shelves of the Walmart’s, local grocery stores, and gas station convenience stores were devoid of my preferred elixir.

          The supply trucks were not getting through. The roads were in such a state as to make rational dispatchers of all trucking companies think twice before sending their vehicles into the fray.

          The shelves of the stores looked like a repeat of the Covid shortages. Couple a Storm Mentality with the assurance of no re-supply and you’ve got the makings of a severe supply-chain issue.

          Items were flying off of the shelves. Not just the regular stuff, even the obscure things began to recede from view. When your favorite staple is not available, you pick the next best thing.

          “Hey Honey, they’re out of eggs!”

          “Go get those disgusting powdered ones!”

          And just like that, the items that you’d never buy in a million years become treasured procurements because no one knows how long the situation will last.

          As they say, ‘Any port in a storm.’

          I searched the now familiar locations every time we went into our beloved Walmart Haven, hoping against hope that some Intrepid Monster Energy Drink Driver had been able to persevere long enough to battle his way into the blitzkrieged war zone, and deliver the needed supplies to the appreciative troops.

          That did not happen.

          But I will tell what did happen.

          On the eve of our last full day in Winter Wonderland, we made a farewell sojourn into our Walmart just to see if anything had changed.

          It hadn’t.

          Nope.

           Not one little bit.

           As a matter of fact, the situation had gotten even worse.

          As I came around the corner of the aisle and looked to see if the Delivery Gods had smiled down upon this store, I was not surprised to see nothing.

          Oh well, it was worth a try anyway.

          Just for fun, I peered into the recesses of the adjoining shelf.

          Wait!

          What did I see?

          I thought that I caught a glimpse of something green. The flavor that I crave is the green one, not the blue or yellow or gray.

          Green!!!

          Which apparently is most other people’s favorite also because that’s the one that everyone is out of.

          My pulse quickened! Not wanting to get my hopes too high, I bent down for a better look. Is it really green, or just another blue one?

          Maybe….

          I reached in and carefully extracted my hoped for prize from the shelf.

          Yes! It’s a green one!

          Hmmm…. Maybe?

          Again, I reached back into the vault

          Out came a second one!

          Then a third, fourth and fifth!

          I praised the lazy stock boy who upon running out of space for the green ones, put the extra‘s in behind the blue ones so that he didn’t have to take a partial case and return it to the back room. I know this trick because I was one of those grocery clerks back in the day!

          I quickly scoffed up my prizes and headed for the check-out, hoping that no one else would see me and hijack my booty. Paula helped carry them because five in one arm was taking too much of a chance of dropping this precious cargo.

          They are now safely ensconced in our refrigerator awaiting their sacrifice for my enjoyment.