Bụi đời

(It will soon become evident)

Our route was a ride out into the countryside; our destination was a home-hosted luncheon given by a lady whose mom had been in a relationship with an American Serviceman. No worries, this one has as a happy ending as possible, but this story and multitudes of others like it (most not as satisfying) needs to be told and acknowledged.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Be careful what you wish for Donny”

That phrase is being whispered in my mind with a frequency that I had not believed possible, but far from having the usual negative inference, it always brings this experience to another level.

                        It is being uttered by the Manta Maven back at O.A.T. whose sole purpose in life is to provide experiences that you didn’t know existed, had no initial particular interest in, but now wonder how you’ve lived without them enhancing a daily life……. mine.

I am (with permission!) going use some of Sherry’s blog here. When it comes to describing in detail what went on, Sherry does a masterful job! She’s been doing this for far longer than I have. Plagiarism is a no-no, so after I read Sherry’s post I realized that I had been infected and the cure was not to fight it, but to accept it and just copy it! Why re-write something that works just fine…… hence this discloser!

            Sherry’s words will appear below in italics…..

Sherry:

We flew from Da Nang to Nha Trang, a beautiful city on the coast. From the day we landed in Hanoi, we have enjoyed the preparations for TET, the lunar New Year, marking the arrival of the Year of the Horse. From the flowering peach blossoms in the north to the huge displays of chrysanthemums in the south, the New Year is a time for flowers, family and fun. Everything is cleaned: homes, streets, cemeteries, even shoes and motor scooters. Special food is prepared and people travel back to their villages. New clothes are bought for everyone. It is New Year’s Eve in Nha Trang, and our hotel faces the beach which provides us front row seats to the celebrations. There are thousands of motor scooters parked along the roadway as people walk thru the sand, waiting for the fireworks. Many shops and restaurants are closed to allow for family time. 

TET is celebrated for three full days plus additional celebrations for the whole month after. Day one is for family: parents enjoy early morning with their children then go to the home of their parents and siblings. Food and gifts and exchanged and then all go to the Buddhist temple to give thanks for the past year and pray for peace, prosperity, health and happiness for the months to come. While the country has freedom of religion and there are Catholic and even Sunni Muslim areas, Buddhism seems to be the primary faith that is practiced. We visited two temple areas today which were crowded with families, dressed in fine clothing, honoring Buddha. The second day is reserved for visiting aunts and uncles followed by another visit to the temple. The third day honors teachers and mentors who have enhanced your life again followed by a temple visit. TET is a joyous time in Vietnam, and we have been very lucky to share in their New Year. 

             Today we enjoyed another scooter tour of the area, stopping at temples, winding thru little streets, eventually heading out into the countryside. As in Hoi An, the extensive flooding and devastation from the November typhoon was still evident. The water level reached the rooftops and thousands died. When the floodwaters receded, the people worked together to clear out the mud and repair the damage.  OAT helped by sending in large equipment to clear mud and debris.

---

Don:

                Bụi đời

          Now there’s a phrase that we don’t ever hear but when you know the translation, it may send a shiver through your being.

                   “The dust of life”

                   Bụi đời

                   It is the local name given to the countless children fathered and then left behind after our involvement in Vietnam.

          Why?

          Because they were shunned and as ostracized as any ‘half-breed’ ever was. This type of situation is not new to humanity, rather it is quite common in history to dilute a conquered people with the seeds of the conquerors. The difference here is that at the time, we were not in that situation….. all we had were a bunch of really young lonely G.I.’s who didn’t know if they were going to be alive the next day.

                   That will set the stage for Sherry’s next couple of paragraphs….

---

Some more from Sherry….

We have talked about the 150,000 AmerAsian children left behind when the war ended. From 1975 until 1989, these were the ghost children that no one wanted to acknowledge. They were the living evidence of relationships with the American soldiers. Some were abandoned, some were sent to grandparents in remote villages, all were discriminated against. Paperwork that proved paternity or even marriage had to be destroyed as that proof would be used by the government (North Vietnam) to punish the mother. That all changed in 1989, when the U.S. Congress passed a law allowing them to come to the U.S. Suddenly, they were valuable tickets to a new life in America. Rich people would “buy” them and secure fake paperwork to prove they belonged to the family. A mother and child (now grown) could relocate, become citizens and eventually sponsor other family members to join them. 

This still left mothers with terrible choices: take the AmerAsian child to America for a better life but leave behind the fully Vietnamese children she also had? She was not permitted to bring her entire family. Our home hostess today has two half-sisters who went to America with her mother while the three older siblings stayed in the village. 

---

Some last words from me….

                        As you have seen, we have had any number of interactions with local peoples, from the Hill Country Tribes up in the North, to little old Grandmas down here in the South. Each one has been fascinating in its own right. This particular encounter really struck a chord when we sat there and could still feel the anguish of relatives re-telling their families stories.

                        To what end you may ask…. maybe its just the opportunity to give someone a chance to tell their story, to someone who will listen, ask intelligent questions, commiserate a bit, and then give a hug to as we depart their home.

            I dare say that there have been times when any of us wished that someone paid that much attention to our own stories, warranted or not.

   Bụi đời

                        I think that I’ll whisper back to the Mantra Maven for a lot more “wishes” like this.