Category: Uncategorized

                             We are going to pretend that this Post was written a week ago when I briefly thought about it. That way I can claim that it has been exactly three years since we transitioned from Stationary Stewards of Land and metamorphized into The Wandering Gypsies of the Highway. At that time this Blog was born and one thing that I promised you was that I would not post the mundane, everyday happenings of Paula and Don just because we could. Hence the length of time since our last Post.

                             I am happy to report that we are on the road again, sans our usual modus operandi of Travel. Yes, we have left Miss Biggie behind in Texas as we venture out, down, and south of us and head into the wilds of Florida. We are traveling in the Lifeboat which is (as Hondas tend to be) quite a bit smaller than Winnebago Motor Homes. That means that we cannot get up and move around, make lunch, use the facilities, or just sit in large comfortable Captain’s Chairs watching the pavement unfurl beneath us.

                             Nope.

                             We’re now just like the rest of Traveling Public, consigned to Rest Stop bathrooms and hastily consumed passenger side ­­­lap-snacks as our lunch on the go. The reason that we left our home behind was that our destination had all of the amenities that we would need over the next two or so, weeks .

                             It’s time to throw back the curtains and reveal our Destination for this time period……… Fort Myers, Florida!

                             Heh?

                             Yay! Fort Myers! You know, southwest coast of Florida! Home to a bunch of alligators and our Errant Jumbo-Sized Suitcase of World Cruise fame that made its way there, courtesy of Harold and Sherry of the same fame.

                             (Flashback!)

                             When we went on the World Cruise, we had our luggage shipped to Fort Lauderdale ahead of embarkation. This resulted in a rather smashed-up imitation of a large garment container being delivered to our stateroom. This previously usable piece of luggage was given a ceremonial Burial at Sea and arrangements were made for me to visit a Big Box Store in Los Angeles when we arrived there two weeks hence. Procurement of an even larger Traveling Tote was accomplished with the end game still uncertain as I thought that I had purchased the same size suitcase as the now deceased one.

                             Wrong!

                             I had in my possession a container that rivaled the old Titanic-Sized Steamer Trunks of yesteryear’s travel.

                             Oops!

                             When the calculations were made at the end of the cruise it was determined that this over-sized and over-weight item would cost an additional $400.00 to make its way back with us on the airplane to Houston.

Ouch!

                             Enter our new besties, Harold and Sherry who drove to the ship as they live only a peninsula’s width away from Fort Lauderdale, in Fort Myers. By now I’m sure that this picture has focused itself and you can see that there were several reasons to travel to Fort Myers sometime in the future to retrieve our suitcase filled with Tuxedo’s and Gowns and visit with Sherry and Harold!

                             Back to the Present.

                             Since the World Cruise, Harlod and Sherry have been to Alberta, Canada where they went to Banff and Lake Louise, the Adirondacks for an annual family gathering vacation, and Kenya and Tanzania for a three-week Safari.  So, as you can imagine, fitting in a trip South , coordinated with our travels, was a logistical quandary of sorts. No worries, the Garments of Distinction were not needed any time soon as we were not invited to King Charle’s Coronation.

                             It is a good thing that Paula is the more stalwart of the drivers of this set as I, at times, am useless. The maladies that make traveling with me a relative nightmare, RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) and AIMPA (Ants-In-My-pants Affliction) coupled with UIAP (Uncomfortable In Any Position) makes traveling with me a challenge. Throw in the fact that I can narcolepsy with the best of them at any time, keeps Paula behind then wheel a full two-thirds of the time, leaving me to squirm and/or saw the zzzzz’s  in the passenger’s seat. These attributes (?) make driving the Honda instead of the motorhome an even worse situation. Plus there is absolutely no place to put the motorhome down here by Harold and Sherry. They live in a wonderfully manicured and gated community that has zero space to park something of that size and besides, we were staying in their home with them.

                             A visit to Harold and Sherry’s home is like a visit to a museum. Artifacts and treasures from their travels are abundantly and tastefully displayed everywhere you look. Vaulted ceilings supported by lofty walls are the perfect venues for showcasing these pieces collected on their travels. One of their favorite things to collect are masks, and with their affinity for Africa you can just imagine the wonderful examples of these items that have made their way into their collection.

                             I can’t forget the elephants! Lots and lots of different elephant renditions adorn the shelves around their home. And what would elephants be without some other wildlife to engage with? From time to time you can spy an occasional giraffe or lion peeking out from a shelf, looking for a meal. Couple all of this with a collective of eclectic artworks both from Harold and around the world and you come up with a sensory-overloading visual experience.

                             For a sensory overload of slightly different proportions, we went to dinner last night at Doc Ford’s Rum Bar and Grille over by Fort Myers Beach. This area was Ground Zero for Hurricane Ian just one year ago. Ian came ashore as a Cat 5 and quickly delivered an enormous blow to this area. 161 lost souls and $113,000,000 dollars later, Ian departed leaving the area quaking in his wake. Doc’s was no exception but press on they did, and the newly re-built facility is now thriving again along with a few of its neighbors. Sherry’s daughter Rachael worked there before Ian and still works here now. We visited her last night for a dining experience that was quite perfect. Just the right amount of culinary skill, topped off with some sincerely friendly service in a waterfront venue made for a memorable evening. We did tour the area before we sat down, and the devastation is still quite apparent and will take some time before things can be considered “normal” again.

                             Today we travel across the state for a weekend on the beach in Fort Lauderdale. No, it’s not Spring Break, just a few days at a condo owned by Sherry’s daughter. With any amount of luck there will be boats galore!

Report to follow 😊

                             They are massing at the border.

                             Rumors are flying.

                             We have taken to wearing Groucho Glasses.

Letters of both Threats and Praise have been inundating our mailbox.

                   What, you may ask, is going on here?

                   It seems that as soon as we departed the State of Texas back in May, the skies sealed themselves and the entire region was thrown into both a Drought and Heat Wave. Daily temps exceeding 100 degrees for weeks at a time were the norm, coupled with no precipitation.

                   The State made national headlines on a daily basis.

      We observed all of this from the relative safety of the East Coast.

                   Then we returned.

                   The State immediately experienced a decrease in temperature and the rains have been of Biblical Proportions as of late.

                   We are being hailed as Prophets of Precip and at the same time derided as Harbingers of Hell.

                   Hence, the Disguises.

                   We just came back because it was time to.

There were several doctors’ appointments and some Motorhome Maintenance issues that needed to be tended to and it was time to, you know, just set a spell before the next round of Visitations commenced.

I’ve told you about Texas and how everything about it is large. Nothing around these parts is just regular.

                   Size is everything.

                   Texas sized items abound.

H.E.B. our local grocery chain is good example. H.E.B. is Texas borne and bred and they do a fine job of supplying the entire State with vittles and the like.

Back in New Jersey and the surrounding states, Shop Rite is a major player in that industry. Shop Rite and its “parent” cooperative corporation Wakefern is huge! They are the largest cooperative operating in the United States and the fifty or so members operate about 365 stores in the Tri State Region. The combined sales of which exceed 19 billion dollars! I know how this operation is run because I worked for them for about 18 months after the Chatterbox went to the Great Hamburger Stand in the Sky. I admire the way that they operate.

So, now for the comparison.

H.E.B. operates a few more stores, somewhere around 380 or so. Their sales are in the $38 billion range, twice that of Shop Rite! Texans LOVE H.E.B. and so far I don’t really see much competition for them. They are beloved in their own State and are as homegrown as you can be. This can be proven by just the etymology of the name itself. H.E.B. is the acronym/initials of the founder, Howard Edward Butt.

Not a pretty name is it?

I wonder how many playground brawls he got mixed up in as a kid!

Butt, the jokes on them!  Because H.E.B. ranks in the top twenty of all retailers in the United Sates! And they give 5% of their pre-tax profits to local organizations and the folks around here know it.

          So there we were at our local H.E.B. when Armageddon struck. We kind of knew it was coming, at least we knew something was on its way because we don’t go anywhere at any time without checking the Radar and forecasts. Leaving the motorhome to the mercies of the Texas Weather Gods is just plain stupid, especially around here. Awnings need to be retracted, windows shut, outside chairs folded and slid underneath the chassis, and flagpole taken down are the main things that need to be tended to.

The radar showed a storm over Austin which is west of us, and the trajectory seemed to indicate that some of it may be headed our way. We tried to time our errands so that we would not be stuck in the car in a parking lot until it blew over.

Arrived we did at H.E.B. as the sky turned a color and texture indicative of some inclement happenings. I elected to stay out front and watch the show while Paula participated in Produce Perusing, her favorite pastime.

          The events unfolded rather rapidly as this baby was cranking down on us at about thirty mph groundspeed. That was just the speed of the storm and the accompanying front moving through the area. The wind was another story entirely.

It began with the usual splat, splat of large raindrops randomly hitting the parking lot. Folks started making a beeline for their automobiles as a cadre of cart-boys hastily tried (in vain) to round up their charges before  the onslaught of water engulfed our location.

          No one was spared.

          I watched the wind take several abandoned grocery carts and send them careening across the parking lot at speeds that defied logic. If it weren’t for the heroics of the already drenched cart boys who basically sacrificed themselves, there would have been serious damage done to vehicles in that parking lot.

          Citations for Bravery are being arranged.

There was no escaping this event. If you were unlucky enough to be out of your vehicle, on your way into the store, and belonged to the Mobility Challenged group of the population, you were a goner. One poor lady, obviously a Card-Carrying Member of the group, could not have been wetter if she had just climbed out of a swimming pool. The store took care of her and helped her get dried off.

Now, we’ve all experienced Big Storms in the summer. Lightning crashing down all around, thunder rolling through the skies, and winds that turn trees inside out.

But this was different. This was one of those Texas Sized items that seem to come with being here. I can honestly say that I have not experienced anything like this one before. I know that the Mid-West and environs are famous for their storms rolling across the plains, but unless you’ve witnessed one, it’s hard to convey its enormity and ferocity.

As I stood in the front of the store watching all of this unfurl in front of us, Paula came up and stood next to me. Soon I noticed the folks around us pointing at us and whispering to each other, cupping their hands by each other’s ears so that we couldn’t hear them.

But I heard one of them say, “It’s them!“

We quickly donned our Groucho Glasses and unsuccessfully dodged the raindrops as we made a beeline for the relative safety of our car before the Mob had a chance to react.

                             We arrived in Durango just in time for the 101^st Southern Ute Tribe’s Annual Parade. This is of consequence because my daughter Lorelyn, has been an attorney for the Southern Ute Tribe for the past sixteen years and takes a lot of pride in the fact that she participates as much as she can in the cultural events and festivities as she is allowed to.

                             This particular event, The Parade, is something that all of the different departments of the Tribe are encouraged to represent themselves with their participation. Many of the other local groups and even individuals (i.e. Tribal Members running for various offices and the younger members vying for positions like Pow-Wow Princess) participate also and that level of that participation may, in fact, have an impact on their eventual selection.

                             The day was just gorgeous which meant that the turnout for this was outstanding. The Tribe’s headquarters is in the little town of Ignacio and the parade route would bring it down Ignacio’s Main Street which also happens to be Highway 160, the major thoroughfare of the region. Which also means that all of the traffic that normally would travel on this road needs to detour through other parts of town. I love it when a tiny locality gets to showcase itself on its own Main Street once a year and everyone else has to step aside. We’ve seen this before while traveling around, and while it may be a minor inconvenience you’ve got to feel happy for the local folk who get their day in the sun.

                             And sunny it was! The Parade was scheduled for 10 AM so we arrived a bit early to see if we could be of any assistance. Lorelyn had volunteered our services (if needed) but the Legal Department and their partners from the Permanent Fund, had been hard at work since the day before constructing their Float.

                             The theme of this year’s parade was “Bread of Unity”, and the obvious tie-in was a staple of Native American life, the very tasty Fry Bread. Fry Bread is viewed by some as a symbol of the past colonialism and injustices suffered by Native Americans. This is because in order to keep from starving thousands and thousands of Native Americans, the US government needed to supply some rations for them when they were moved from their traditional hunting grounds and subsistence farming areas. The rations consisted of wheat flour, salt, lard, and a few other items. These ingredients were the base for what has come to be known as Fry Bread.

                             Fry Bread now can be had at home or at festivals, State Fairs, and also along the highways of the Southwest, especially on Reservations, at roadside stands, and is usually topped with honey, powdered sugar, or it can be had with beef or chicken, making it a taco of sorts.  This was what the combined team’s Float was made to look like, a home-made roadside fry bread stand.  Not only did they have this replica of a Roadside Stand on their trailer, but they also spent the day before, and that morning, prepping and then cooking a zillion loaves of Fry Bread to be given out along the Parade Route. Most of the parade participants throw handfuls of candy to the spectators as has been done in the past. This practice, as you may imagine, has its fans (the little kids) and its detractors (the Health Community and parents (?).

                             Oh, did I mention that there were judges involved? The bragging rights that go along with a win are huge in this community! Knowing that, and then acting upon it, the Combined Team decided that they would actually make Fry Bread and distribute that instead of candy. We were there (I drove the truck towing the Float) and could hear the announcers (and hopefully the Judges) reactions when they found out that they were being given samples of the Fry Bread being distributed!

                             The best part of being there was that we were able to watch first-hand a community celebrate their heritage. The traditional garments worn by Tribal Members were just incredible as you can see from the photos. In a way, I was jealous of all of these fine folks. Being a mutt of Irish, English, and German backgrounds, I have no real ties to any ethnic origins or traditions. Being able to watch a group of closely knit folks celebrate their heritage and traditions was quite the experience and we were honored to be able to watch and participate to the level that we did.

Thank you so far to Dino, Karen, Liz, Elaine, Brian, and Susan for your votes in the Can’t Decide Which Photo Survey. So far, Mr. Color has more votes than his much older predecessor, Mr. Black and White.

Judging anything “Artsy” is purely subjective which is the main reason that it’s so much fun because there is no wrong answer! As far as the “Choosing” goes, it seems that the main reason given so far was that there appeared to be more detail to be seen in the Color rendition. I wonder if that is because of the way that I processed that photo in B&W? I’m going to revisit it and play with the processing and see what can be done…. if anything.

I asked this question because I did not know which one I preferred! I am a Black and White aficionado, a hold out from my days spent in the darkroom back in high school and college. I probably still lean that way….. that there are photos that just scream to be in B&W, but then, that’s just my opinion.

So, just for fun, take a look at this one! A mediocre compromise that highlights the stuff that can be done with today’s digital technology. I don’t know how to use Photoshop, so I sent the photo (taken with my Canon 90D) back to my Samsung S20 Phone and worked on it in there!

                             Yesterday was a Travel Day.

                             Travel Days are usually uneventful unless we hit a swarm of Bugs, or some strange warning light illuminates itself on the dashboard.

                             But yesterday was a thankfully an uneventful day, bookended by two activities that kind of fell into our laps.

                             Our first nice surprise was a relatively regular sunrise in Grand Teton. The previous day, we arrived in the Park fairly early in the morning (which proved beneficial because of those pesky clouds later in the day) and were rewarded with some nice views of the Mountains. Yesterday we planned to get up even earlier and see if we could catch some even better views of the Tetons on our way out of the area.

                             Clouds were on the Eastern Horizon, so the sunlight could only peek in and out every so often, but, as we drove southward with the Tetons on our right-hand side, the clouds parted and rewarded us with some very nice photos. We even got one of our House-On-Wheels in front of Grand Teton itself!

                             The goal of the day was to be in Price, Utah by mid-afternoon, leaving just four or five hours left on our trip to Durango, Colorado where my daughter Lorelyn and her husband Travis live.

                             In speaking to Lorelyn and telling her of our plans, she excitedly informed is that some of the BEST rock-art/petroglyphs in the entire southwest were located a relatively short stones throw away from where were planning to spend the night….. the famous Walmart of Price.

                             We needed to drive an additional five miles in order to get to Nine Mile Canyon, which questionably, is about forty miles long.

                             And the petroglyphs that we’re going to look for started thirty-three miles in! That means that we added approximately another eighty miles to our daily total, but it was worth it!

                             Lorelyn and Travis have brought us to many examples of these ancient art forms over the years. They have become somewhat of experts on this topic, and we return their favors by appreciating these thousand-year-old renditions of both everyday life and the fantasies of the peoples that lived here so long ago.

                             The Ancestral Puebloans (relatively new term for Anasazi) and their contemporaries, the Fremont People are the folks that are responsible for carving all of these designs, figures, and stories into what is called Desert Varnish. Desert Varnish is the dark stuff on some of the rocks and cliffs that are seen through this area. It is not by any means considered rare, but it does not appear just anywhere as the conditions needed for it to form are the correct amount of moisture, sunlight, minerals, wind, and some organic material that are present all around here, just not deposited everywhere.

                             The interesting thing about Desert Varnish is that it takes thousands and thousands of years to accumulate on the rock’s surface. And…. it’s really thin!

                             The Varnish grows at rate of about a micrometer every thousand years. For comparison purposes, a human hair is several micrometers thick.

                             The Artists would chip away at the varnish-covered rock faces with quartz chipping tools in order to achieve their desired results. These panels of artwork were done about a thousand years ago and as you will see, the Desert Varnish has yet to even grow back on the chipped away areas!

                             Please don’t get the impression that Paula and I are any kind of experts on this subject and somehow found all of these examples. Nope, we were led here by some very detailed maps and such that allowed us to “find” them for ourselves. But I will show you how hard it is to initially see these things by some comparison photos….. so here goes!

Petroglyphs are the ones that are “pecked” away at, achieving their desired results by removing a layer of that Desert Varnish. Pictographs are the ones that use different minerals and dyes to “paint” or make outlines of things using a brush of sorts. Everything at these sites were of the petroglyph variety.

And last but not least, I have a favor to ask of all of you. The next two photos are identical in subject and framing. The only difference is that one is in Color and the other is Black and White. I would like for you to vote on which one you prefer. In the Comments section below, just type in Color or BW. Nothing else is needed, but you are obviously welcome to make any comments at any time. I pretty much answer all of them!

Thanks! And we will see if any “Adventures” develop in the Durango area that are worthy of a Post. Soon we will be back in Texas, but it is still really hot down there so we are not rushing it!

                   Yosemite has El Capitan.

                   Yellowstone has Old Faithful.

                   Mt. Rushmore has the Guys.

                   And Grand Teton has, well, the Tetons.

                             And are they ever Grand!

          This is another example of even though you may have never been here, I’m sure that you have seen photos of this National Park and its Grand subjects……. The very impressive Teton Range in northwest Wyoming.

                   You may recall that we tried in vain to get here last year on our way back East in the Spring. Unfortunately for us, Winter has a nasty habit of holding on to this region for as long as she can and even though baseballs had been flying for weeks, the roads and the Park were still grounded. At least for our purposes. These Parks are open 24/7/365, but many areas of a Park may be shut down because of inaccessibility.

                   So, as the saying goes… There’s always next year!

          And here we are, only for a day or so, but unless you are taking advantage of their two hundred miles of hiking trails, or even scaling the 13,775 foot tall Grand Teton, a day is about all you need to roam this Park. And that is not taking anything away from it! Everything here is absolutely gorgeous and accessible.

                   Obviously the draw is the peaks of Teton Range themselves and they are visible from everywhere!

                   This Range is one of the youngest on the planet and is the youngest in the States. (They are roughly 10 million years old compared to the Rockies at about 65 million years or the Appalachians at a whopping  300 million years!) They grow out of a small fault and are only forty miles long. The surrounding area is about as flat as it gets until Bam! up pops these incredible mountains looking like that random mountain range that springs up out of the plywood base of your toy train layout!

          That means that practically wherever you go here, you can see the main reason for visiting this Park. It also means that the view of the Mountains changes with every turn in the road, which makes photo -taking a bit of a challenge and I’m glad that I’m using a digital format cuz in the Olden Days, rolls and rolls of film would have needed to be processed at the end of the trip! I obviously will not include every photo taken during our stay here! You will need to visit yourself and discover the nuances of the ever-changing views of the Grand Tetons!

                   Dateline: 1 September 2023

                   Location: Remote Forward Air Base Seeley Lake

          Rumors were flying (pun intended) around the Base that the Labor Day festivities would include an enormous slab of 14-Hour Smoked Brisket. The rumors were well founded but the issue remained as to the Procurement of this delightful delicacy as small as this Base is, everyone knew that there were no pieces of meat that fit that description.

          A hastily called meeting of the Senior Staff concurred that indeed, there was no meat of that kind anywhere on base, and in order not to disappoint the small legion of Base inhabitants, a Plan of Procurement was put into place.

                             A Raid was planned on the Quartermaster’s Supply Depot, Costco. The only issue was that this Costco was housed in the center of a neighboring base, Fort Missoula, so a foray into this base, the extraction of said Beef, and a successful retreat were put into the hands of Lieutenant Matthew (The Kid) McNeill and his handpicked team of Captain Steve (Poppy) McNeill, Corporal Don (Who me?) Hall, and Mission Specialist Paula (Coupon-Clipper) McCarthy.

                             Operation: Brisket Buy was scheduled for 15:30 hours that afternoon, but there was still some training needed. Specialist McCarthy did not yet have the required number of Small Aircraft Hours logged, so one of the Mission Aircraft was hastily rolled out of its hanger and the veteran pilot and mission participant Captain McNeill volunteered to bring McCarthy aloft to complete her training that (if you will recall) began last week with the run up to Flathead Lake for lunch and Pie Procurement in those forest fire induced low visibility conditions.

Since then, a few days of inclement weather helped extinguish the local flames which resulted in clear skies and gorgeous aerial views.

The only issue here was that the better visibility would make the Flight easier to spot. Coast Watcher and Fire Lookout Dave, from up in the Fire Tower (also from last week  when we went on a ground mission to check on him and gain his confidence [and have a picnic lunch at the summit!] in case he was needed in the future).

That day proved successful as now that the skies had cleared, we needed his sharp eyes to let us know if we were detected on our way to Fort Missoula.

                   The Mission was scheduled in two parts. First the Main Cargo Plane, piloted by Lieutenant Matt McNeill, with Hall and McCarthy riding shotgun as it were, took off on time and flew on a route that took them through the pass between Murphy Peak and Charity Peak which allowed for a lower altitude in order to escape Radar Detection. Captain Steve would take off a little later in Aircraft #2, the Cub, and land in Missoula ostensibly to “check on his other aircraft” (the Mu-2, which had brought everyone up from Phoenix yesterday).

                   Aircraft #1, the Beechcraft 265 landed without any issues and the crew, dressed in “civvies” walked nonchalantly over to the escape car which is secretly kept here at the base so that it can be used when one of the Seeley Airbase members come into town.

                   The Quartermaster’s Headquarters was only a block away so a getaway should not be an issue. We arrived at  Costco undetected as there were many others in attendance on this Holiday Weekend Saturday. Entering, we bee-lined it for the Brisket Vault and after bribing the guard we exited with a very promising looking brisket. We then quickly filled our basket with other non-essential essentials, as can only be done at a store like this) in order to disguise our true mission of….. Brisket Procurement. Mission Specialist Paula “Coupon Clipper” McCarthy was delirious and overwhelmed with the amount of good stuff at bargain prices. She almost blew our cover in her exuberance.

                   We then made it through the two Exit Checkpoints of Costco, again not detected, and promptly filled the escape car’s trunk with our loot.

                   Back at Fort Missoula Airbase, our co-conspirator, Captain Steve` was waiting patiently. The plan was for us to split up making any tailing of us more difficult. It also allowed for the better weight distribution of our Ill-Gotten-Booty. My place in the Beech 265 was to be taken by the “cargo’  and I would then join Captain Steve in the Ultra-Mega Cub. This thing is the proverbial “wolf in sheep’s clothing” as it normally would have about a 115 hp motor, but now sports 200+ hp motor. No one was the wiser.

                   Taking off from Missoula was uneventful as we were careful not to give ourselves away. We just blended into the everyday flights that come and go , to and from, all parts of the country.

                   Captain Steve and Corporal Don took off first as even though they had 200+ hp under the cowling, it was still a Cub, which is not designed for swift travel. The Beech with Lieutenant McNeill and  a recovering Paula eventually overtook and passed us. We flew in formation for a while executing several aerial maneuvers that would have made the Blue Angels gasp in awe!

                   The Brisket landed first while Captain Steve and I flew up and around Coast Watcher Dave in his tower to thank him for his vigilance and participation in our successful mission.

                   Landing back at Remote Base Seeley Lake in time for BBQ Ribs and accoutrements for dinner, we all eventually retired to our hammocks, pulled the mosquito netting over us and as soon as the Sarge yelled “Lights Out!” we started dreaming of a slow roasted smoked brisket being slapped onto our plates in the Mess Hall.

Future Report to follow.

                   “Shhhh! Don’t say that out loud!”

                   “What?”

                   “You can’t say that you don’t like cheese curds around here!”

                   “Why not?”

                   “Because the Curd Police are everywhere and if they hear you talk bad about the most favorite thing in this State, they’ll drag you to the nearest border and kick you out!”

                   “But I don’t like Cheese Curds, it’s like eating a bunch of tough boiled big clams that ‘squeak’ when you chew them!”

                   “Makes no never-mind, you have to at least pretend that you like them. Everyone is crazy here, and we don’t wany any trouble!”

                             That was a snippet of a conversation overheard when we were in Wisconsin.

You know, the Cheese State.

Cheeseheads……

They wear those foam rubber wedge-shaped ‘piece of cheese’ hats everywhere!

          Out here in Montana the local craze (a word derived from crazy, whose synonyms include, mad, eccentric, odd, bizarre, and irrational) is the Huckleberry.

Now, we’ve all heard of a Huckleberry, but I’m not sure that I knew that it was a real thing. My experience with that word started in the early ‘60’s with the Hanna-Barbera cartoon, Huckleberry Hound.

Remember him?

That Southern accented talking blue dog?

Huck went into retirement after about three years, but another member of his show went on to fame and fortune, eventually opening and running his own empire of RV Parks and Campgrounds.

          Yes, Yogi Bear was a spin-off of Huck’s cartoon show, and his RV Parks are very nice as we can attest to.

          The other most famous use of Huckleberry comes from a contemporary of Yogi’s.

Not Bear….

But… Berra!

That person is none other than the Scooter himself, Phil Rizzuto, who when he retired from playing became the voice of the Yankees and was known to call various players a ‘huckleberry’ when they made an error on the field.

          Out here in Montana, Huckleberry Everything is Everywhere!

                             They kind of taste like a cross between a raspberry and a blueberry, but each color, or variety, has its own subtleties.

                             But!

Have no fear!

They will make anything with Huckleberries around here so no matter what you have craving for, you will find a Huckleberry kind of it with no problem!

The Huckleberry Police are crawling all over this area, so I think I’ll go back to Jersey for a Taylor ham, egg’n cheese, salt, pep, ketch, on a hard roll.

But don’t say it out loud that you don’t like it.

Just order a bacon……..

                             There’s lots to cover today, so get your cup of your desired beverage and set a spell! Glacier National Park is a gem, and contained within are the photos, stories, and of course, a few lessons to prove it!

I made my Miss Google Maps lady’s voice have a British accent, so its fun to hear her pronounce Glacier. Over there it’s pronounced Glaass- EE-ur. So now try to get that out of your mind every time you read Glacier!                

The word on the street is that you need at least five days in order to do Glacier National Park any justice.

That word would be correct.

But we only had two, so we made the best of it and jammed as many sights as we could into them. A return visit is certainly not out of the question.

                   There is a lot to see here, and if you get an early enough start you can cram a lot into a day. The issue is getting from desired sight to site (pun and spelling intentional!).

                   Glacier National Park is our twelfth largest, so it’s got some nice area to it. But that’s not the problem with fitting a lot into a day. It’s where all of the various highlights are located. There are several distinct regions of the Park, and they are not necessarily connected. To get from one to another you need to exit the Park and travel around its perimeter until the desired region is reached. That is because this place sits smack dab in the middle of the Rocky Mountains and getting from Point A to Point B is definitely not a straight line. In fact, even when there is road that connects two points, that road is about as straight as a toddler’s scribble on piece of paper.

But it makes for an exciting ride!

You know the kind, incredibly narrow roads cut into the mountainsides in the 1920’s when cars were as wide as carriages, precipitous drop-offs that are literally inches from the sides of the roads, thankfully lined with some big boulders and cemented rock walls but are only about eighteen inches tall. DO NOT look over the edge! It will only scare you to death!

Instead, just look out across whatever mountainside you are clinging to and take in the entire vista! We found these to be every bit as impressive as say, Yosemite or Zion.

                   It’s named Glacier National Park for a reason and that reason is slowly dwindling from sight. We were not in the section of the Park that most of the Glaciers are located in but were able to spy the only glacier that is visible from the road without having to hike to.

Across from the Viewpoint sat Jackson Glacier.

He looked sad.

 Unfortunately it was not as impressive as it has been in the past. For one, it’s August and the snowfields that surround it for a good portion of the year have melted, and second, the Global Warming Trend that is so controversial, has taken an obvious toll on Jackson and all of his friends around here.

Presently there are twenty-five named glaciers within the Park which used have close to ninety glaciers as recently as the 1950’s. They are all scheduled for the Wicked Witch of the West treatment by the middle of this century if our Warming Trend, real or imagined, is not brought under control or reverses itself.

          Anyway, Mr. Jackson was one of the highlights of a trip on the “Going-to-the-Sun Road” which spans the breadth of the Park and is as cool to traverse as its name implies. We did it three times and by the time we were done we could have qualified as one of the “Jammers” that drive the 1930’s era Touring Cars that bring paying passengers on a semi-private tour with twenty of their new best friends.

          This Park, and many of the other really popular Parks, have had to fall back on a plan to reduce the stress on the Parks from too many eager visitors. The most popular tool used is that of a Daily Reservation for entry into either the Park or maybe just the more popular sections.

          We had two passes. One for a single day admission to the Two Medicine area, and the second was a three-day pass for the main artery running through the Park, the Going-to-the-Sun Road.

          On our first day we went to the remote Two Medicine area for a short hike that turned into a relatively long hike, that story is forthcoming. But first we’ll go back to the Entry Ticket system. This system is quite successful. No one wants to be jam-packed into a Park. So, in order to be appreciated, it must be held somewhat under control with respect to how many eager visitors are able to visit along with you on any given day. The process is easy, it’s “On-Line” and it is definitely not a huge profit center for the Parks as the fee for the Reservation is only two dollars per vehicle. They are issued on a first-come, first-served basis. The tickets are released four months in advance and a number of them are held until 8AM of the day before. I found zero issues logging on at 8AM the previous day and procuring what we needed.

          Oh, and this system is only in place for the High Season where some control is warranted.

          And, most National Parks are open 24/7 and this entry system is usually in place for 6AM until 3PM, so if you want to get in early or arrive a tad later, then no daily permit is needed.

          So, let’s get back to those “Jammers” that drive these really cool vehicles. They are called “Jammers” because back in the day, from the 1930’s and before 1987 when automatic transmissions replaced the old manual trannies, the gear grinding was quite obvious as the “Double-Clutch Method” of changing gears was mandatory, thus the sound of jamming the gears!

These vehicles were used in most of the Parks out West for a few decades until the more popular Drive Yourself auto became the mode du jour. Here in Glacier, with that aforementioned “Going-to-the-Sun Road” becoming so popular (and harrowing) these Touring Cars remained very prevalent. Glacier is the only Park where they are still used and get this, they are the Original Vehicles! Now, obviously they have been re-built over the years and some modern attributes have been added such as a larger motor, power brakes (Yay!!!) and the old wooden chassis have been replaced with an elongated and modified F-350 one. In fact, Ford Motor Company donated over seven million dollars to the entire re-fit process, but as you can see, they have retained all of their unique, old-school charm!

          We left our site in the West Columbia RV Park which is on the west side of the Park at 6:30AM and drove down and around the bottom of the Park, and up the east side until we came to the Two Medicine area nice and early, which one needs to do if you want to escape whatever crowds will be on the trails later on. These are no glaciers here, just a pretty lake, some big peaks, and some great hiking trails. Now don’t get any misconceptions here. Paula and I are not “Avid Hikers” by any stretch. We are however, “Avid Dreamers of Hiking” and when the opportunity presents itself, take advantage of our locale and participate to the best of our overweight ability. (I still haven’t shed the “World Cruise Eight” (as I affectionally call my hangers-on)

And we’re at Elevation (about 4000’) and we’ve spent more than our share of time going from doctor’s office to doctor’s office, and the sun was in my eyes, and I stepped on a rock, and there may be mosquitos around…… (have I given enough excuses yet 😊)

          They have stopped rating the trails as Easy, Moderate, and Difficult and have adapted a system not unlike the Ski Areas use, but just slightly modified, these are, Green Circle, Yellow Square, and Red Diamond, and they start with Less Challenging, then on to Challenging, and finally Very Challenging. Note the words Easy and Moderate are nowhere to be found.

          We were looking for our friendly Green Circle trail to Aster Falls which was only 1.3 miles one way, and an elevation gain of 197 feet.

          Totally doable as we had no time limits except our own. We got to the Falls which were quite nice and there we saw a sign that said Aster Park – 0.7 miles. Aster Park ostensibly had the other Holy Grail of hiking, an Overlook! We felt pretty good, we had our water, a snack, and thankfully our Lekki Poles which are adjustable walking sticks/ ’ski poles’ with shock absorbers with us. They proved invaluable as we now were going up an additional 600’ of elevation. None of this can be construed as anything remotely difficult if you are considered to be in the previously mentioned category of Avid Hiker, which of course we are not!

          Onward and upward, we slogged our way through dense forest, tangling underbrush, clinging vines, and dangerous wildlife, wielding our machetes from side to side, pausing only to swat the bird-sized mosquitos that were dive-bombing us with ferocious regularity.

          Well, that what it seemed like except there was no underbrush, vines, or mosquitos, just a narrow path that a few times became a little steep. We did not even need the Lekki Poles to fend off the Grizzly Bears that frequent this area. They did come in handy for their intended use however. We were rewarded with an impressive early morning view of Two Medicine Lake and its surroundings.

We were hoping to see a moose, which frequent these parts, or maybe an elk, but all we saw were chipmunks and a Black Squirrel who scared the bejeezus out of Paula when he accosted her on the trail.

No prisoners were taken by either side.

Upon our descent we encountered the Hordes of Latecomers, those other Non-Avid Hikers who slept in that morning. We were thankful that we got our early start and realized that the secret to seeing these Parks is to GET OUT EARLY!

Down at Base Camp we thanked our Sherpas and had a nice “Hiker’s Lunch” of carrot sticks, cheese, some tuna and crackers, all washed down with some flavored fizzy waters.

My first mistake was sitting on the ground for lunch. It was not the ants crawling on me trying to steal my lunch that was the problem. It was the simple act of standing up after that “Hike of the Century”. I was fairly sore, but it was that good kind of “sore”, the satisfying one. We were quite proud of ourselves because we did not collapse in a heap on the Trail only to be eaten by a bear or need to be carried unceremoniously and embarrassingly back down to the Base by pissed off Rangers.

We decided that for the afternoon we would reconnoiter for the next day which was our drive on the extensive (45 mile) “Going-to-the-Sun Road”. We would enter from the East, which would be the exact opposite from where we would enter the next day. Besides, it was a direct way back to our RV Park.

          Here comes our first lesson of the day and that is how important ‘light’, and its source, direction, and intensity affect your photos. (Everyone takes photos when we’re away on Vacation. Do just a little bit of homework and you will find that your photos will improve nicely. There are even courses that you can take specifically for your cell phone.)

          And… how we see what is in front of us, vs. the way that our digital/film cameras or cell phone cameras do.

There have been many times when I have not snapped a pic because even with the magic of my old-fashioned darkroom to play in, or nowadays, the equally important Light Room software (an Adobe product that I use to “develop” my “film” that is used for digital photography) there wasn’t even a chance that the scene would reproduce nicely enough for viewing.

          Did you ever get your photos back from the drugstore and say to yourself, “I remember these scenes being much more colorful, clearer, and by extension, impressive? You’re not alone and that is because our eyes have the ability to enhance and clarify, even if it’s in our ‘mind’s eye’, the scenes in front of us.  Film or megabytes can only record what is presented to them, they do not know what’s good or pretty, they only want the facts, just the facts. “Click”…..

That is where we, and our technology, come in with film or digital processing. We get to reproduce what we “saw” when we took the photo. Of course, there are extremes, like when you look at a photo and the colors are way too saturated and look “artificially vibrant” or that shot of a full moon that takes up half of the sky. At that point the photos cease to be accurate representations of what you saw when you snapped the shutter and are now moving towards the Artsy Side of things, which is fine and tons of fun to experiment with. See the next example!

          Along with all of that comes the times of the day when Photography is at its best. Morning and afternoon light is preferable and mid-day should be avoided. But if mid-day is the only time that you have, then make the most of it. Don’t ever not take an important shot because conditions are not perfect. Look at that (fake!) photo of the Loch Ness Monster taken so long ago! If they had waited for the perfect time, we would have never seen that creature 😊!

          Here in Glacier and the surrounding areas, there are several forest fires burning which inject some smoke and haze into the region, all of which have an effect on the photos. Photographers for years have had filters that help mitigate these items that get in the way of a nice photo. Our eyes have the ability to an extent to “cut through” this haze and we are able to “see” better to a degree. Definitely to the extent that if you just take an unprocessed photo, we would remark on how hazy it seems. I just attempted to illustrate that to you. This process is nothing new. I used it back in the ‘70’s when I was the Photo Editor in high school and college for the yearbook and newspaper and later in our basement darkroom. Those processes are identical to today’s digital formats except that we no longer have smelly hands from all of the chemicals used for processing film and prints!

You all saw the photos last week from down at Seeley Lake and  the quality (or lack thereof) of them because of the EXTENSIVE fires down there. Fires in the West are nothing new, but everyone agrees that they are becoming more frequent and intense. That is partially because in modern times, we have suppressed what Mother Nature and her pyromaniac son Mr. Lightning have tried to do. Believe it or not, forest fires are critical to keeping our forests in a lively and vibrant way. These combustible events have been going on for many, many, thousands of years, and everyone has adapted nicely except us.

          Humankind.

          The ones with structures that can be destroyed.

A forest is designed to burn every couple hundred or so years. This process helps clear out the detritus and undergrowth, spur new growth, and change habitats for critters, keeping them all happy. When we stop fires at all costs, we don’t let Mr. Lightning do his job in clearing out the old stuff. We delay it until it reaches a point where when it does ignite, it gets so intense that everything gets roasted because it develops into a crown fire which just runs rampant through everything until it’s all gone. Most forest fires, when kept on the ground, just sanitize, and keep that understory at a level that’s controllable, not by us, but by Mom.

          Notice I haven’t used the word Wildfires yet. That’s because there is a difference between Wildfires and Forest Fires. Unfortunately we’ve been experiencing more Wildfires that the latter. Smokey Bear has even changed his slogan from “Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires” to “Only You Can Prevent Wildfires”. A full 80+% of fires today are started by us and can quickly grow to those nasty Wildfires that are so destructive. Everywhere we go out here, that evidence of Wildfires is so obvious, but as you can see, Mom has a way of starting anew and here is some proof for you!

Even though the fires have disturbed the countryside, these Glacial Lakes just keep on being gems of beauty that go unrivaled in the world of aquascapes. There is something about water that is melted from snow and Ice that makes these waters glow with that special tint of blue. It comes from all of the pulverized rock that glaciers are so good at producing. Those teeny-tiny bits stay suspended in the waters and refract and reflect sunlight in a way that gives it that special blueish green, even as its clarity goes unrivaled.

There is still so much to discover here at Glacier, that a return trip is almost guaranteed. With Steve and Phillis only an hour and a half down the road at Seeley Lake, how can we not return? There are still the main Glaciers in the Many Glaciers section of the Park and the northern part of the area which in conjunction with the nations of Canada and the Blackfeet Tribe, we have the International Peace Park. This Park straddles the political boundaries of these nations, while invisibly encompassing and containing the same.

What a nice concept.

I guess that whenever there is a large concentration of trees, there is that potential for a forest fire. Back East that potential is minimized by smaller patches of forested woodlands, easier access to those areas for firefighting, and a generally “wetter” climate than out West. Having said all of that I am not trying to minimize that potential for dangerous fires in the Eastern parts of the country, just compare it to the conditions usually associated with the Western areas of the United Staes.

                   And, by extension, our neighbor to the North, Miss Canada, is experiencing forest fires on a scale yet to be experienced down here. The fires up there are massive. Canada is the second largest country in the world and over half of it is forested. The areas burning there are comparable to the size of Indiana, which is about a quarter the size of California. That means, for comparisons sake,  25% of California would have to be on fire in order to equal Canada’s dilemma.

                   Fortunately for Canada, the development of these areas is far less than any of the aforementioned areas of comparison.

                   So Don, why the mini lesson on forest fires?

                   I’m glad you asked that Mr. Smokey!

Yesterday we ventured up into the wooded mountains of this part of Montana. These mountains are not the rocky, craggy, enormous sentinels of the sky that are found a little to the east in the main part of the Rockies. They are, however, formidable peaks in themselves. We were on Mount Morrell, just one mountain that at 7900 feet in elevation is quite representative of this area.

                   And it is forested.

                   Or it used to be.

                   Before the Fire.

                   Before this time of year in 2017.

          That’s when lightning struck the area of Rice Ridge, about six miles north of here. The fire spread quickly, jumping from 40,000 aces to 100,000 acres on September 3^rd. Over 700 fire fighters were assigned to this fire, which at that time became the number one fire-fighting priority in the country. It was finally declared out in early October.

                   Our goal for the day was to find a nice place for a picnic lunch. A lookout is always a good bet, as the views are guaranteed to be expansive (because why would it be called a lookout if you couldn’t see anything!)

The road to the summit was thankfully in great shape and it wound its way around hairpin turns for about nine miles. The only issue was that at times, it was scarily narrow! Phillis was our pilot for the day, and she guided our vehicle like she had been on this road a hundred times. Our biggest fear was that we would encounter not a bear, (or Grizzly, as they are around here) or any other critter that could cause us harm, but we were terrified of meeting up with the very formidable “Oncoming Vehicle”.

                   These creatures can be quite stubborn when it comes to backing up and sometimes an Argument of Significant Proportions can be had as one of you will need to “put it into reverse” on this tiny narrow trail of a road with precipitous drop-offs. Fortunately, we did not encounter this creature on either the way up, or on the way down.

                   We did encounter one other life form on this venture, that of the relatively rare Lookoutius Rangerous. Our specimen, David, originally hailed from way upstate New York and was currently living up in the Tower. The rarity of this find, comes with the significance of his living in the tower full time. He only ventures down into civilization twice a week for some PT therapy for an unspecified injury received while at work.

                   There has been a tower here since the 1920’s and this one replaced that older one in 1962. It is on the National Register of Historic Fire Towers which I am sure that it is proud of even though none of us (including you!) knew of the Registers existence!

                   The deforesting of areas like this is quite common if you look at the word common and compare it to eons. Most forests have evolved and are designed to have massive burns every couple of hundred years or so. The burns and fires are strictly for Mother Nature’s benefit and by extension really ours also. I won’t go into the details here as you’re already probably bored to tears, but if you’re interested a quick search of this topic will give you answers that are concise and informative at the same time.

          Unfortunately, the topic of this Post is the very issue that kept us from having crystal clear views of the surrounding areas. There are no less than three forest fires currently burning within this region and their collective smoke has given everything a hazy look.

          Maybe, if we all get the courage up to face the Squeezing Gauntlet of the Drive again, and the fires are all gone, we will wind our way back up to the summit and be able to see it all more clearly 😊