Storms and Grocery Stores of Magnificent Proportions

                             They are massing at the border.

                             Rumors are flying.

                             We have taken to wearing Groucho Glasses.

Letters of both Threats and Praise have been inundating our mailbox.

                   What, you may ask, is going on here?

                   It seems that as soon as we departed the State of Texas back in May, the skies sealed themselves and the entire region was thrown into both a Drought and Heat Wave. Daily temps exceeding 100 degrees for weeks at a time were the norm, coupled with no precipitation.

                   The State made national headlines on a daily basis.

      We observed all of this from the relative safety of the East Coast.

                   Then we returned.

                   The State immediately experienced a decrease in temperature and the rains have been of Biblical Proportions as of late.

                   We are being hailed as Prophets of Precip and at the same time derided as Harbingers of Hell.

                   Hence, the Disguises.

                   We just came back because it was time to.

There were several doctors’ appointments and some Motorhome Maintenance issues that needed to be tended to and it was time to, you know, just set a spell before the next round of Visitations commenced.

I’ve told you about Texas and how everything about it is large. Nothing around these parts is just regular.

                   Size is everything.

                   Texas sized items abound.

H.E.B. our local grocery chain is good example. H.E.B. is Texas borne and bred and they do a fine job of supplying the entire State with vittles and the like.

Back in New Jersey and the surrounding states, Shop Rite is a major player in that industry. Shop Rite and its “parent” cooperative corporation Wakefern is huge! They are the largest cooperative operating in the United States and the fifty or so members operate about 365 stores in the Tri State Region. The combined sales of which exceed 19 billion dollars! I know how this operation is run because I worked for them for about 18 months after the Chatterbox went to the Great Hamburger Stand in the Sky. I admire the way that they operate.

So, now for the comparison.

H.E.B. operates a few more stores, somewhere around 380 or so. Their sales are in the $38 billion range, twice that of Shop Rite! Texans LOVE H.E.B. and so far I don’t really see much competition for them. They are beloved in their own State and are as homegrown as you can be. This can be proven by just the etymology of the name itself. H.E.B. is the acronym/initials of the founder, Howard Edward Butt.

Not a pretty name is it?

I wonder how many playground brawls he got mixed up in as a kid!

Butt, the jokes on them!  Because H.E.B. ranks in the top twenty of all retailers in the United Sates! And they give 5% of their pre-tax profits to local organizations and the folks around here know it.

          So there we were at our local H.E.B. when Armageddon struck. We kind of knew it was coming, at least we knew something was on its way because we don’t go anywhere at any time without checking the Radar and forecasts. Leaving the motorhome to the mercies of the Texas Weather Gods is just plain stupid, especially around here. Awnings need to be retracted, windows shut, outside chairs folded and slid underneath the chassis, and flagpole taken down are the main things that need to be tended to.

The radar showed a storm over Austin which is west of us, and the trajectory seemed to indicate that some of it may be headed our way. We tried to time our errands so that we would not be stuck in the car in a parking lot until it blew over.

Arrived we did at H.E.B. as the sky turned a color and texture indicative of some inclement happenings. I elected to stay out front and watch the show while Paula participated in Produce Perusing, her favorite pastime.

          The events unfolded rather rapidly as this baby was cranking down on us at about thirty mph groundspeed. That was just the speed of the storm and the accompanying front moving through the area. The wind was another story entirely.

It began with the usual splat, splat of large raindrops randomly hitting the parking lot. Folks started making a beeline for their automobiles as a cadre of cart-boys hastily tried (in vain) to round up their charges before  the onslaught of water engulfed our location.

          No one was spared.

          I watched the wind take several abandoned grocery carts and send them careening across the parking lot at speeds that defied logic. If it weren’t for the heroics of the already drenched cart boys who basically sacrificed themselves, there would have been serious damage done to vehicles in that parking lot.

          Citations for Bravery are being arranged.

There was no escaping this event. If you were unlucky enough to be out of your vehicle, on your way into the store, and belonged to the Mobility Challenged group of the population, you were a goner. One poor lady, obviously a Card-Carrying Member of the group, could not have been wetter if she had just climbed out of a swimming pool. The store took care of her and helped her get dried off.

Now, we’ve all experienced Big Storms in the summer. Lightning crashing down all around, thunder rolling through the skies, and winds that turn trees inside out.

But this was different. This was one of those Texas Sized items that seem to come with being here. I can honestly say that I have not experienced anything like this one before. I know that the Mid-West and environs are famous for their storms rolling across the plains, but unless you’ve witnessed one, it’s hard to convey its enormity and ferocity.

As I stood in the front of the store watching all of this unfurl in front of us, Paula came up and stood next to me. Soon I noticed the folks around us pointing at us and whispering to each other, cupping their hands by each other’s ears so that we couldn’t hear them.

But I heard one of them say, “It’s them!“

We quickly donned our Groucho Glasses and unsuccessfully dodged the raindrops as we made a beeline for the relative safety of our car before the Mob had a chance to react.