How to Make a Costco Run in the Wilds of Montana

                   Dateline: 1 September 2023

                   Location: Remote Forward Air Base Seeley Lake

          Rumors were flying (pun intended) around the Base that the Labor Day festivities would include an enormous slab of 14-Hour Smoked Brisket. The rumors were well founded but the issue remained as to the Procurement of this delightful delicacy as small as this Base is, everyone knew that there were no pieces of meat that fit that description.

          A hastily called meeting of the Senior Staff concurred that indeed, there was no meat of that kind anywhere on base, and in order not to disappoint the small legion of Base inhabitants, a Plan of Procurement was put into place.

                             A Raid was planned on the Quartermaster’s Supply Depot, Costco. The only issue was that this Costco was housed in the center of a neighboring base, Fort Missoula, so a foray into this base, the extraction of said Beef, and a successful retreat were put into the hands of Lieutenant Matthew (The Kid) McNeill and his handpicked team of Captain Steve (Poppy) McNeill, Corporal Don (Who me?) Hall, and Mission Specialist Paula (Coupon-Clipper) McCarthy.

                             Operation: Brisket Buy was scheduled for 15:30 hours that afternoon, but there was still some training needed. Specialist McCarthy did not yet have the required number of Small Aircraft Hours logged, so one of the Mission Aircraft was hastily rolled out of its hanger and the veteran pilot and mission participant Captain McNeill volunteered to bring McCarthy aloft to complete her training that (if you will recall) began last week with the run up to Flathead Lake for lunch and Pie Procurement in those forest fire induced low visibility conditions.

Since then, a few days of inclement weather helped extinguish the local flames which resulted in clear skies and gorgeous aerial views.

The only issue here was that the better visibility would make the Flight easier to spot. Coast Watcher and Fire Lookout Dave, from up in the Fire Tower (also from last week  when we went on a ground mission to check on him and gain his confidence [and have a picnic lunch at the summit!] in case he was needed in the future).

That day proved successful as now that the skies had cleared, we needed his sharp eyes to let us know if we were detected on our way to Fort Missoula.

                   The Mission was scheduled in two parts. First the Main Cargo Plane, piloted by Lieutenant Matt McNeill, with Hall and McCarthy riding shotgun as it were, took off on time and flew on a route that took them through the pass between Murphy Peak and Charity Peak which allowed for a lower altitude in order to escape Radar Detection. Captain Steve would take off a little later in Aircraft #2, the Cub, and land in Missoula ostensibly to “check on his other aircraft” (the Mu-2, which had brought everyone up from Phoenix yesterday).

                   Aircraft #1, the Beechcraft 265 landed without any issues and the crew, dressed in “civvies” walked nonchalantly over to the escape car which is secretly kept here at the base so that it can be used when one of the Seeley Airbase members come into town.

                   The Quartermaster’s Headquarters was only a block away so a getaway should not be an issue. We arrived at  Costco undetected as there were many others in attendance on this Holiday Weekend Saturday. Entering, we bee-lined it for the Brisket Vault and after bribing the guard we exited with a very promising looking brisket. We then quickly filled our basket with other non-essential essentials, as can only be done at a store like this) in order to disguise our true mission of….. Brisket Procurement. Mission Specialist Paula “Coupon Clipper” McCarthy was delirious and overwhelmed with the amount of good stuff at bargain prices. She almost blew our cover in her exuberance.

                   We then made it through the two Exit Checkpoints of Costco, again not detected, and promptly filled the escape car’s trunk with our loot.

                   Back at Fort Missoula Airbase, our co-conspirator, Captain Steve` was waiting patiently. The plan was for us to split up making any tailing of us more difficult. It also allowed for the better weight distribution of our Ill-Gotten-Booty. My place in the Beech 265 was to be taken by the “cargo’  and I would then join Captain Steve in the Ultra-Mega Cub. This thing is the proverbial “wolf in sheep’s clothing” as it normally would have about a 115 hp motor, but now sports 200+ hp motor. No one was the wiser.

                   Taking off from Missoula was uneventful as we were careful not to give ourselves away. We just blended into the everyday flights that come and go , to and from, all parts of the country.

                   Captain Steve and Corporal Don took off first as even though they had 200+ hp under the cowling, it was still a Cub, which is not designed for swift travel. The Beech with Lieutenant McNeill and  a recovering Paula eventually overtook and passed us. We flew in formation for a while executing several aerial maneuvers that would have made the Blue Angels gasp in awe!

                   The Brisket landed first while Captain Steve and I flew up and around Coast Watcher Dave in his tower to thank him for his vigilance and participation in our successful mission.

                   Landing back at Remote Base Seeley Lake in time for BBQ Ribs and accoutrements for dinner, we all eventually retired to our hammocks, pulled the mosquito netting over us and as soon as the Sarge yelled “Lights Out!” we started dreaming of a slow roasted smoked brisket being slapped onto our plates in the Mess Hall.

Future Report to follow.