T-Minus… (Again!)

Dateline: Augusta, New Jersey – Launch Site Command –  0400 hours.

          “Good Morning everyone, Walter Concrete reporting. We are here in a secure bunker in the cornfield directly across from the  site of today’s highly anticipated launch of the two brave ‘Bagonauts who are scheduled to begin their much-delayed mission to the second largest Planet State in our system, that of Texaranus. The scheduled launch time is 0900 EDT but as we all have experienced in the past, almost anything can creep up and bite them in the tailpipe. In fact, we’ve been here twice before in the last few weeks only to have the Mission put on hold for indefinite amounts of time while practical, and personal, glitches were sorted out. It is now reported that these various issues have been somewhat contained for at least the foreseeable future enabling Mission Control to resume the Countdown that was initially started some time during the week prior to Labor Day.

          The Command Vehicle is a beautiful sight this morning, it sits there on the pad glistening in the pre-dawn darkness, illuminated only by the glow of the sodium-vapor lamps of Yetter’s Parking Lot. That 0900-launch time is, however, fairly nebulous as the built-in Automatic Hold for breakfast at the Diner can be extended depending on how many well-wishers (and debt collectors) show up before the scheduled launch time.

          The Mission has been carefully plotted and installed into the Navicomputer, which is conveniently stored in The Co-Commander’s brain, which is that of Captain Paula McCarthy. It seems that the other Co-Commander of this Mission, Captain Don Hall is content with his role in this adventure, that of Chief Officer in Charge of Windshield Cleaning.

          The Route that has been plotted will take them initially into Douglasville, Pennsylvania where they are scheduled for an overnight layover at Carol and Glenn’s (of Ortley Beach fame) before resuming their southward journey. The next course correction will occur near Atlanta Georgia, where they will encounter several old cousins of Captain Don’s who, as he puts it, “I haven’t seen since the middle 1800’s”. We expect that may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but then, we never know with him. After that brief layover, the course will be altered one final time and plotted almost due west for a scheduled soft-landing sometime Friday afternoon. That is, if the ‘Bagonauts don’t succumb to the temptations to do a fly-by of the mysterious place called ‘Narlans’ by the local indigenous inhabitants, but we all know it as ‘New Orleans’. Only time will tell. Captain Don is scheduled to give us timely reports over the course of the Mission, so stay tuned to this station for further updates.”

          “This has been Walter Concrete reporting……. film at 11.”