Here to There (and back again)

Dateline: Rayville, Louisiana, (Walmart Parking Lot)

          A new long-distance record was shattered last Friday! While not necessarily attempting such a feat, the Dynamic Driving Duo of Paula and Don managed to jam 807 miles into their day. Departing an unknown Rest Area on Interstate 81 just south of Roanoke, Virginia, they forged their way through seven states and finally came to rest in the sprawling metropolis of Rayville, Louisiana (pop. 3695), just off of Interstate 20. This was a new route for the Duo, having finally had their fill of the infamous Interstate 10 and its Gator-Filled Wild Swamp Ride and the Six Flags-like Houston Destruction Zone Adventure. The previous record was 689 miles from Texas into Iowa. This accomplishment was attained by constantly driving and not even stopping for the usual necessities.         

          Being able to attend to these ‘necessities’ while not being utilized in the Pilot capacity is facilitated by the fact that, like a turtle, they carry their homes on their proverbial backs. So, one would partake of these activities while leisurely being the Co-Pilot. They did pull into rest areas just long enough to switch drivers and then zoom (?) back onto the Interstate leaving Bewildered Rest Area Onlookers gasping in amazement. Rumor has it that they are practicing an even faster DRM (Driver Replacement Maneuver), where Driver A sets the Cruise Control and stands up while Driver B slides in behind Driver A, sits down, and accepts control while Driver A exits to their right, which completes the DRM.

          So far this highly questionable maneuver has only been attempted in their dreams.

          The hasty exit from New Jersey was, unfortunately, not hasty enough. Many lessons were learned from the Great Texas Ice Storm of this past Winter. So, when (or as usual) a Meteorological Anomaly left them with no choice but to spend an extra day in Ortley Beach, they took it in stride and spent the day with Carol and Glenn, Paula’s cousins. A furious round of Mexican-Train Dominoes ensued. Curiously, Ortley Beach was Ground Zero for Superstorm Sandy back in 2012. But this time all that was encountered was a nice day and a few thunderstorms at night. The next day the Duo hastened to sneak out behind the departing Ida (as in Ida-Wanna-Be-Here) and had clear sailing all the way back to Texas.

          They arrived in Texas in time for Madison’s 5th Birthday and will probably exit as quickly as they arrived because the Texas Summer is still in full swing. With the feels-like temps hovering between 105 and 110 they will be seeking something a little bit cooler, say, someplace like Hell.