Dubious Superlatives

Well, we haven’t even been back in Texas a week yet and we’ve already had a Tornado Watch. May be I should have done a little more research before settling on agreeing to spend a seemingly massive (in this case) amount of time here.

          It turns out that the Great State of Texas, where everything is bigger (more) than normal, either by design or just luck, ranks #1 in the not-so- great category of the annual  Most Tornadoes in a Year contest.

          Yay!!!

          We’re #1!  We’re #1!  We’re #1!

          Which also makes us #1 in the world because (tornadoes occur on six of our seven continents, none in Antarctica) the United States ranks first in the world in tornadoes, and Texas is the State that has the most of these whirling dervishes. Texas averages 135  tornadoes per year, followed by Kansas with 91 and Oklahoma with 75. All 50 states have recorded tornadoes at one time or another.

          I can assure you that when you are sitting around waiting for the calamity to ensue, that this is a somewhat uncertain honor.

          So, why here?

          Knowing now how the minds of true Texans work, I am quite sure that someone would like to claim that it was all part of the plan…. that Texas is bigger, and better, than everyone else. In some cases, Texas is bigger (quantitative) and maybe better (qualitative) but geography plays the most important part in determining the frequency of these Dorothy and Toto Transporters.

          The warm moist Gulf of Mexico air works its way northward over the land while the air flowing from the west meets the Rocky Mountains (to the west) which (as it flows over the mountains) cools and dries this advancing air mass. It then collides (an appropriate verb here) with that hot, moist, energy-filled Gulf air, driving a wedge of cooler and dryer air beneath it causing it to rise which makes the Gulf Air cool, condense, and wring itself of all of that moisture in the form of thunderstorms along the advancing cold front. The vertical and horizontal movements of this air mass combined with the dynamics of the convective and conductive nature of a thunderstorm, provides the ideal conditions for the development of our new (not best friend) Mr. Tornado.

          Nowhere on our planet is there a replication of this type of geography…. the Gulf of Mexico slightly east and south of a major mountain range to its west.

          Ta-Da!

          We have the mostest and bestest (adverbial superlatives definitely intended) places on our Planet for breeding Tornadoes. It’s not called Tornado Alley for nothing!

          That’s the end of our combined Geography and Meteorology portion of today’s post…… 😊

          We will now concentrate on another Biggest Category and that is the Cracked Windshield award.

          This season’s winners are Paula McCarthy and Don Hall who have amassed a total of no less than seven separate (very long) cracks in their Motorhome Windshield!

          A big round of applause for our winners please!

          It was touch and go for a while, the competition is fierce in the Big, Flat, Motorhome Windshield Projectile Gathering category, but as luck would have it, somewhere on the last day of travel before needing to report to the judges, a massive “Top to Bottom” crack was discovered as the windshield was being cleaned and de-bugged. It was confirmed as a “New Crack” which made it eligible for addition into the “Total Inches” section of the judging criteria. It was reported that Mrs. McCarthy and Mr. Hall were delirious with joy upon learning that they had captured First Place in this highly competitive contest.

          As the Motorhome is registered in Brenham, Texas, The Great State of Texas has quickly followed with a statement of its own claiming the honor of the “Biggest and Best Cracked Windshield” for this, the 2022 Traveling Season.

          The Award Ceremony will be held in Moraine, Ohio, the site of the worlds largest auto glass manufacturing plant, later this year.

          Upon learning of this, Texas has begun building a new windshield manufacturing plant that will be larger than the one in Ohio.

          Film at 11.