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When I say Costa Rica, what comes to mind?

                             Mountains?

                             Coffee?

                             Coral reefs?

                             Rain forests?

                             Sloths?

                   Sloths???!!!  You mean like the guy in Zootopia? The one who was the clerk at the DMV?

                   Yup! The same!

                   Sloths are on the same level as Narwhals, just ask any kid!

                   So…. when we went over the projected itineraries of the various excursions in Costa Rica and saw Sloth Sanctuary……  well jam those brakes on and stop right there! Cuz, here we come!

                   It didn’t hurt that this Excursion also included an aerial tram ride through the canopy of a rain forest, a chance to see the tropical critters up close and personal.

                   Driving in Costa Rica is a classic case of “Ya can’t get theah from heah”. Well, maybe it’s not as bad as Maine, but the roads are narrow and winding because the places we were going were up in the mountains.

                    One way in.

                    One way out.

                   And there were destruction zones.

Oops! I mean construction zones!

Anyway, the bus was immaculate and our Tour Guide, Dan, (short for Daniella something) was awesome. We learned everything about Costa Rica, its government, banking system, standard of living, indigenous peoples, environmental policies, critters… flying, crawling, slithering, swimming, and walking. She had plenty of time to convey all of this information to us, as we had three one and half hour rides, to and from our various stops for the day.

                   Our first destination was the Sloth Sanctuary.

                   In all fairness, it was a Sloth and Lot’s of Other Critters Sanctuary and Rehabilitation Half-Way House and Hospital.

                   But, that’s a lot to fit onto a business card. The facility is staffed with volunteers from around the world who come and stay for various lengths and reasons. Our Guide, Beth, was getting experience before she applied to Veterinary School.

                   They specialize mainly in sloths, monkeys, macaws, and parrots. There was a smattering of some others, like the turtles, but they mainly stick to their specialties. The animals that are here for the most part, will spend their lives here because they (for various reasons) can no longer survive in the wild. There are some that they are nursing back to health, being careful not to make them dependent on that care, so that the animals can be successfully re-introduced to their natural habitat.

                   The tour was very informative, you could tell that these folks not only knew their subjects, but obviously cared as well….. a lot! When it was over, they provided us with what most of their inmates (?) ate on a daily basis.

                   Fresh Fruits!

                    It was all obviously delicious!

                   Back on the Bus.

                   Another hour and a half.

                   Up into the mountains, down a windy, bumpy, dirt (but graded) road we found the Rainforest Aerial Tramway and Butterfly Garden.

                   There was a certain familiarity to this place that I couldn’t put my finger on…. But it would eventually come to me later in the tour.

This was where we were scheduled to have Lunch. Our guide explained that it would probably consist of Rice and Beans, the staples of this area of the world and I was determined to participate, you know, immerse myself in the locality (even the beans). Paula on the other hand, needed no persuasion as Rice and Beans sounded absolutely glorious to her!

                   We got on the food line and much to our (my) delight Rice and Beans were just a small part of a great buffet that this place serves up. You could tell that they cater to the Cruise Industry as there were many large tables set under an open-air pavilion and the buffet line was geared for larger groups. They even had a system for identifying each bus and its passengers to facilitate the orderly process of moving us through the entire experience, from unloading, eating, tram ride, butterflies, gift shop (of course!) and back onto our busses.

                   Paula and I were the first ones finished and over to the tram. We had hoped to get the front of the tram (it sat eight or nine victims, four couples (2,2,2,1) and a single in the rear. Unfortunately (and thankfully) the experienced handlers knew how to set up a long, narrow tram suspended high above the ground, for optimum safety and weight distribution.

                   The heavier ‘tramsters’ needed to be in the center.

                   We did not get the front.

                   I knew that the French Toast I had for breakfast would come back to haunt me!

                   This tram is nothing more than a ski lift with no snow and no way to embark or disembark unless the entire lift came to a complete stop. Hence the “Fifty-Minute Ride through the Canopy of a Rain Forest”.

                   Now, please note that there two words in that very official designation:

                   Rain and Forest.

                   In our case, Rain was the far more significant member of that term. Maybe they should call it a Downpour Forest.  

Luckily, there is a canopy over each tram for cases like this.

Luckily #2, we had our Handy-Dandy-Emergency–Caught-In-The-Rain-Ponchos with us. Have you ever tried to unfold one of these things in a narrow tram when you are already wet (just try and slide that over wet clothes) and trying not to stand up and rock the proverbial boat?

          I helped Paula get hers on first.

          It went well.

          Then I put mine on.

          Backwards.

          This is where those suffocation warning labels come in handy as the hood fit very nicely over my face.

          It’s a good thing that the Poncho Police don’t get paid enough not monitor Tramways. It was embarrassing. The guy behind us was quite amused.

          In the meantime, our tram-mates could be heard, “There’s a butterfly!” and “I think I see a bird!”

Anyway, it’s hard enough spotting jungle denizens when the weather is good. In fact, these guys really don’t want to be seen. Let’s think about it. I’m in the jungle and I know that I’m just someone else’s snack. I’m gonna try my best to blend in and not make myself a target.

The snackers that are bigger than me and that are looking for me, are professionals at this.

So, what chance do a bunch of city yahoos have dangling way up in the air of spotting me?

          We are the laughingstock of the rain forest.

          Three quarters of the way through the tram ride we determined that the downpour was probably the best thing that could have happened as it gave us a story to tell.

          Then it happened. The lady in front of us….

          “There’s movement down there!”

“Look!”

“The tree tops! They’re moving!”

          That’s when it hit me!

          I knew where I got that feeling of seeing this place before.

          Jurassic Park.

          I also knew exactly what was down below us.

          Velociraptors!

While we were waiting for the cables to break at this very inopportune time, and upon closer examination, it was determined that it was a monkey.

So our drenched foray into the wilds of the Rain Forest was not for naught!

Not only did we see a butterfly and a bird, but now the expedition was complete, and we could return to base with our heads held high!

          And here’s the photo to prove it!

The Butterfly Garden did leave a bit to be desired. In fairness, maybe it was the wrong season for them as there were only two species available and we saw only one of those. But it was still fun, and the butterflies were huge!

After the Butterfly Garden we went along a trail that went through a Botanical Garden of sorts where we encountered The Bats.

Paula was still wet an hour and a half later when we arrived back at the ship.

Here are some photos that did not make the “cut” for inclusion in one of the Posts. In order not to hurt their feelings, and to avoid fights breaking out in the “Photos” folder, I am publishing them now for your perusal, and I hope, your enjoyment. They are happy, I can hear their little cheers coming out of my computer.

We hope that you enjoyed the “Extra’s”. The photos were very excited to be included. They have stopped their fighting and are now resting peacefully. Thank You.

Ah… The Panama Canal.

                   Easily the most famous canal in the world.

                   The Suez Canal is older (the project was started in the 1850’s) and longer (about 120 miles vs about 50 miles) but as far as an engineering project goes, it pales in comparison.

                   But lets not get too haughty here, there is a canal in China that is both older and longer….. by a lot! The Grand Canal or the Jing-Hang Grand Canal was started in the 5^th century B.C. (Ok, that’s a lot older!) and was completed in about 600 A.D. and from the 1200’s to the 1600’s it was substantially improved and restored. It links the Yangtze River with the Yellow River and runs for an astonishing 1100 miles, employing 24 locks and 60 bridges. The Chinese are credited with designing and utilizing the first canal lock over a 1000 years ago. The Jing-Hang Canal is on the UNESCO World Heritage Site list, for all the right reasons.

                   Back to Central America.

                   We barely fit through the locks in the Canal. The locks are 110 feet wide, and our ship is 106, leaving just two feet on each side. This is obviously by design, the maximum beam (width) of modern ships has been dictated by the locks here in Panama. The giant tankers of the world mainly use the Suez Canal which does not have any locks, it is a “Sea Level” canal. A giant ditch was dug between the northern terminus of the Red Sea and the shore of the Mediterranean near the city of Port Said. Large ships can pass through here, even if one must lay up until another one passes. It was not until 2016 when the widening of the Panama Canal was completed that the ships larger than the previous PanaMax size could transit the canal. The new locks are 180’ wide and 1400’ long. Now the Biggies can transit the Panama Canal and all our Amazon stuff from China can get to us that much quicker!

It’s not cheap to use the canal, it cost Princess about $350,000 for us to get through. It’s a good thing that our EZ Pass was in its little aluminum pouch so that it couldn’t be detected as we went through the toll booth!

          We tried our best to find an advantageous spot to watch this entire process and I believe that we were successful. Down on Deck 8, all the way Aft, there is a small deck of sorts that runs the width of the ship and is fully open, with a railing. This allowed us to be up front and personal with the locks and their operation. Most folks were up top looking forward, which I’m sure was fun, but they had to view everything through semi-transparent (because of all the saltwater spray) windscreens. We (as you will see) had a seagull’s eye view of the entire process.

                             It takes the better part of the day to go across from ocean to ocean. Waiting in the locks (and for the locks) takes up a good amount of time. But we needed to cross Gatun Lake and a few other waterways in between, so zooming around at 21 knots is definitely frowned upon. As a matter of fact, we needed to have a Panama Canal Pilot on board for the entire transit. The number of ships, both moving and at anchor, is substantial, so having a pilot who is knowledgeable about the local waters and maritime customs is mandatory.

I will leave you with a few bits of trivia.

          First, the waters of the Pacific Ocean and the Caribbean Sea can never mix!

          Why?

          Because Gatun Lake is the source of the waters that gravity feed the locks on both sides. So that means that the waters flow downward from the lake into both the Pacific and Caribbean.

          Second, did you know that when you enter the canal from the eastern side (Caribbean) that when you exit on the western side (Pacific) you are actually further East than when you entered?

          Yup!

Take a look at a map.

Because of the way that Panama is shaped, and where the canal is located on the isthmus, the entrances and exits (depending on which way you are travelling) are actually further east or west than the way that you entered!

                   Now go play that Trivial Pursuit game and don’t shy away from the Geography Category!

Cartagena is one of those cities that is like having a time machine. At least when it comes to visiting the “Old City”. The formidable, limestone battlements that surround the original part of the city contain all of the old buildings that comprise this UNESCO World Heritage site. Cartagena was the gateway to South America way before any official countries were established. Being situated on the Caribbean Sea, it was a prime target for Pirates….

…..Wait for it…….

…..of the Caribbean!!!

          Sorry! I couldn’t pass that one up!

          Actually, it was not Captain Jack Sparrow who gave them fits, it was none other than Sir Francis Drake, one of the more famous “Privateers” of the times. All that meant was that he had a “License to Steal” granted by the Crown (England).

 Privateers were just legal pirates, provided with Letters of Mark to show the authorities when they got caught. Until the Crown wanted to do away with them and then they conveniently forgot that they had issued said letters.

Just ask Captain William Kidd.

          No, don’t do that, the Crown had him hung!

Can you tell I like Pirates?  (September 19^th is “Talk like a Pirate Day”, so mark your calendars…. Aaaarggg!)

Anyway, we boarded our bus with 38 of our shipmates and Raphael, our Guide, for a short jaunt into the Old City. We walked on that wall that was constructed after Sir Francis Drake ravaged the city (Oops!) in 1586 and made off with all of it’s gold. Spain finally got tired of the French and English pirates attacking the city that they poured an enormous amount of money into building the defenses of Cartagena. In today’s money it would be equivalent to two trillion (yes, that is correct!) dollars!

          This neighborhood of Cartagena probably has 85% of it’s original buildings, mainly constructed in the late 1500’s and early 1600’s. The streets are narrow, I mean, like how wide is a horse and cart anyway? But that obviously just adds to the charm of the area. Colors abound, reminiscent of other Latin American islands and cities. Practically everything is made of either limestone or coral with the favorite wood being mahogany, better suited to use because of its resistance to rotting and termite infestations. Note in the photos how most of the balconies are made from Mahogony.

Being just a few degrees off the Equator, the flowers and plants were nothing short of magnificent! Shown below!

The people here are friendly and polite, even the “Entrepreneurs” that sell their wares on the streets will not bother you after a smile and a polite, “No, Gracias” is spoken to them.

A small part of town is named Getsemani, yes it takes its name from that famous garden just outside Jerusalem, Gethsemane. Seen here just before they take down all of their Christmas decorations. Their Christmas Season ends on this Monday.

          We spent about four hours in total on that tour and when we were deposited back at the Cruise Terminal, we found ourselves in a rather unique area set up by Cartagena’s Tourism Committee. They have established a walk-through zoo of sorts that has mainly the birds of the area for our enjoyment. It was a fun way to end the morning.

Another Day at Sea

                   Not much to report

                   We basically killed time between meals  😊

                   I attended a lecture on older, fondly remembered cruise ships, the highlights of the lecture were the Star of Bermuda, the Queen Elizabeth II, and the France. The gentleman who gave the lecture is aboard for at least the first leg of the cruise and will talk on some other topics, all having to do with ships, including my favorite guy, Captain James Cook, who’s voyages of discovery in the 18tgh century stand out as having as much impact on our knowledge of the unknown as the Apollo missions did hundreds of years later. It will be interesting!

                   Paula attended a large gathering of Bridge enthusiasts and quickly found out that the Brits play by some different rules. Paula did her best to keep our good relationship with the Empire intact!

                   Two naps (Each! There was a first nap and a second nap) later we found ourselves waiting on a line to get into the dining room. More on that situation as I go undercover as a Foodservice Crewmember and bring you the real story!

                   Film at 11.

                   Anyway, we found ourselves with two older couples, one of which was much older, like ancient!

                   But here’s the lesson we learned, “Don’t judge a couple by their walkers!” The older couple were on their seventh World Cruise! How they get around is a sight to behold. The gentleman is the one using the walker and his speed is akin to the proverbial snail. His wife could be the sweetest person we’ve ever met. Both had great careers, his was in aerospace technology and she taught surgeons and wound care specialists how to do their jobs. She had some high-ranking position at Rutgers in the Medical School. They’ve been EVERYWHERE but couldn’t get enough of what everyone else had done with their lives. Their attitude was actually quite inspirational and we wouldn’t hesitate to sit with them in the future. We were able to get a small hike in on the Promenade Deck. There was some maintenance being done so half of it was closed, hence the shorter walk.

                   But it did provide a good photo op! The results of which are displayed here.

                   As I write this, I can see the lights of Cartagena on the horizon. It’s still dark here (we are still in the Eastern Time Zone as we basically sailed due south since embarkation.) Old and historic, Cartagena promises to give a taste of what the New World looked like back in the day. The old city and its ramparts are a UNESCO World Heritage Site as examples of what typical old fortifications looked like when the likes of Sir Francis Drake attacked the city, so Spain poured a ton of money into building fortifications.

                   It’s these fortifications and the Old City, which they surround, that will be the subjects of our Excursion in Cartagena.

I am not alone.

                   There is no one here, but…..

                   I can feel their presence,

                    Calling me, like the Mariners of yore….

                   The distant whispers of the Sirens of the Sea….

                   Or, in my case……

                   The Pastries…..

                   It’s Day Two of being up here in my Early Morning Office.

          The Culinary Staff has been hard at work long before even I got up. A mélange of aromas come wafting out of the kitchen doors every time a cook sweeps in or out of the galley.

                   And it’s driving me crazy!

                   I promise you that I am trying my best to meter my intake of this Fabulous Fare that is presented daily (hourly?) for our glutenous gastronomic delight. It’s a good thing that the portions are totally manageable.

                   If…. You take just one…..

                   There is no one stopping you from multiple portions.

                   Except Paula.

          The Portion Queen is trying her best to keep me from playing a part in Around the World in Eighty Days….

As the Balloon.

          Actually, compared to previous Cruises, I think that I’m doing rather well. It’s not that I have any more willpower, I think it’s the fact that there are so many mirrors between our room (which they smartly made look larger with mirrored walls) and the elevators have a mirrored finish in them.. well, let’s just say that the evidence is presented so clearly and concisely that any jury would convict me on the first try.

                   So, I’m a tryin’ to be good!

                    Last night we ventured to the Main Dining Room without making a reservation. I had wandered down there at lunchtime to ask the Maître d’ how dinner worked and I was assured that if we got there shortly after opening that we would not have a problem being seated. When we arrived, the line wrapped around the fountains and Grand Staircase but moved rather nicely. When we were asked about seating preferences we indicated “whatever works for you” and we found ourselves with two other couples that were traveling together. They were good company. The conversations came dangerously close to Politics and Religion, dabbling for sure in the latter, but all was good. (Phewf!)

                    By the time we left the dining room there was barely enough time to get to the Show. Knowing how the seating works in there and not wanting to fight our way anywhere, we elected to go up to the Hot Tubs where there was definitely no crowds and we had one all to ourselves.

A nice relaxing experience right before Zzzzzzz.

But!

Before we retired, we went through the Princess Patter, the daily “newsletter” of the ship so that we could plan out today nicely. There are so many things to do that invariably the times overlap. Trying to sift through all of the offerings was a formidable task but one that promises to fill up another Day at Sea. I am definitely looking forward to a seminar on veteran Ocean Liners while Paula will be honing her skills at Bridge.

          Oh, we also signed up for the Boat Building Contest. It’s kind of like a scavenger hunt for stuff that you can build a boat out of. Points awarded for originality, floatability, cargo carrying capacity, and “Name and Itinerary”

          They told us that we could not use any of the furniture or life preservers as materials.

Good thing I brought the Acme Boat Building Guide with me!

Day Numero Uno, Embarkation

                   Position: Somewhere off the north coast of Cuba

                   Heading: SE 131.57 Degrees

                   Winds at 20 knots out of the south

                   Enough of that stuff!

          After all of the preparation, angst over what to pack, questions about how much room would we have, plans for surmounting unforeseen delays and roadblocks, I am happy to report…

                   Nothing.

          If you were waiting for an exciting story about transfers gone awry, Pre-Boarding Nightmares, or Official Snafu’s I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you.

          EVERYTHING went about as smoothly as it possibly could have gone and as I sit up here in the extremely early morning, no one else here, Horizon Court buffet area, even the seas are uncomfortably calm.

                   What?

                   Yes, I’m one of those that revels in the pitch and yaw of a bow ploughing through a rolling sea!

                   But no worries! We still have 110 days to go so there is still hope! (I hope Paula doesn’t read this because even though she has come nautical miles from her early seasick days, she still harbors some motion issues) *

                   *(Please note how I deftly worked two marine-related words into that last statement!)

                    We did arrive about as early as we could, there were only a few others in front of us so boarding was a snap. Arriving at our stateroom we were pleasantly surprised that we were not surprised. It looked and felt just as it was pictured and described. Having steeled ourselves for the worst, this came as a nice realization and Paula was about as excited with all of the storage space as she is with our storage on the motorhome!

                   It took a while to get somewhat organized and thankfully Paula’s scouring of the internet for “Cruise Packing and Storage Hacks”, the results of which proved to be perfect. With two full days at sea in front of us, we will have plenty of time to fine-tune our mini-abode.

                   We went topside for awhile as the ship left port.

                   The “Sail Away” party as it were.

                   This is where you get to meet the Cruise Director for the first time and watch those Disneyesque singers and dancers that perform the production shows during the voyage. I say Disneyesque with all of the esteem and grand acknowledgement that I can muster.

It ain’t easy doing that stuff!

You will note from these photos our strategic location was on the second deck above the pool area where the production was staged. I say strategic for two reasons, the obvious one is the visibility of the show. The second one is that I have way too many cruises under my belt, and I know that one of those dancing cuties is gonna dive into the audience and drag me out kicking and screaming trying to get me to participate in some sort of dance routine.

          I can’t even do YMCA.

          But I can hear it now… “Attention everyone, this is the Captain speaking, please stop the ship and all of you crewmen and staff, along with any passengers not already up by the pool, please come up here and watch this bozo try and do the Macarena!”

          The next announcement would be for “Man Overboard” as I dove over the railing.

          Fortunately, I escaped the ‘Conscription of the Innocents’ because I elected to stand in line with everyone else trying to procure ‘Libations for the Festivities’. Twenty minutes later with a Pina Colada and Bloody Mary in hand, we strode to the bow and played Jack and Rose.

                   Not really, the bow is Off Limits to everyone except the crew. This is where their outside area is located, they even have a small pool up there. Well-deserved, I’m sure.

          Dinner last night was at one of the specialty venues, Sabatini’s, their Italian Themed restaurant. Think Olive Garden goes to Sea, but this wasn’t your average Chicken Parm type place. The menu was filled with unpronounceable tid-bits and sauces that were delicious! The Specialty Dining places fill up quickly during the regular part of the trip and Paula had heard that one trick was to book it on the first night, so that’s what we did.

          Off then to the Show, a comedian, he was really good, I can’t relay his act to you here because not only is this a Family Friendly Post, but he was a big Black man and there’s no way to do that justice!

          Today promises to be sunny and warm, not a storm in sight!  ☹

          We remember it well…..

                   It was a mere 704 days ago we decided that a World Cruise would be a good idea.

                   No…. make that a GREAT idea!

The countdown was started and tracked by Princess every time we logged onto the website dedicated to our booking and this Cruise. Initially the number was 340 days until departure.

                   We got down to 110 days to go and then it came.

The “Announcement”.

“Due to all of the ramifications of Covid 19 in several of the countries that we will be visiting, and since there are no assurances that any of the travel restrictions that are currently in place will be lifted, we regret to inform you that our 2022 World Cruise is being cancelled in its entirety.”

We had a hastily called meeting of the WWW (World-Wide Winnebago) Cruise Committee (us!) and it was unanimously decided to try and procure some berths on the next years cruise slated for January of 2023.

We quickly rang up Carol, our Princess Cruise Consultant who sprang into action in order to secure a stateroom for us (the bookings had already begun for the 2023 Cruise) and she assured us that they (Princess) would hold the prices for us so that we would not have an increase.

          Clock restart: 475 days to go.

          I could say that “It seems like only yesterday….” But that would be a lie!

475 is a long time!

With lots of other Winnebago-type Travel Plans staring at us!

But now we can say that it’s all in the past, and yes… today…. ‘God willing and the creek don’t rise…..’ we will climb the gangway of the Island Princess, make our way to the Central Elevators, punch the Aloha Deck button, and find our way to our stateroom, where hopefully the luggage that was shipped almost two weeks ago has found its way back to us……. like the three lost pets in the Incredible Journey, and we will have not only a joyful reunion, but fresh underwear as well!

We will then report to the Galley Master for our rowing assignments along with the other ‘passengers’. I hear that the views out of the rowing ports is quite nice if the weather is good!

After a few days at sea, our first ‘Port of Call’ will be Cartagena, Columbia.

          See you on board!

I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment and welcome a passel of new crewmembers to the blog! The Galley Master offered us a bounty for going out and beating the bushes to find new Rowers. It seems that a bunch jumped ship at the previous Port so…. the latest additions to our illustrious company are (in no particular order) Evan, Looper, Lindsey, Rick, Barb, Carol, Donald, Barbara, Cathleen, Dino, Nancy, Kim, Matt, Claire, Tommy, Nadia, Anne, and Aubrey.

          Please be nice and say Hi to these dupes, (oops! I mean fine examples of humanity!) when they sit down next to you and pick up their oars!

          I really hate to do this to you but, yes…. just before embarkation, we are going back to class. Not just any class, we’re going to attend a small seminar on Cruise Ships Sizes and the Relative Differences Between Them (101).

                   No worries, this is the only level of this course available, so you will not have a second semester to contend with!

          Ever since the Love Boat premiered on ABC Television in 1977, we’ve (the collective we) been enamored with Cruising. It is my humble opinion that The Love Boat single-handedly was responsible for the surge in that industry’s popularity, which continues to this day.

          The difference is in the dimensions of the ships that are now creeping up on the size of small cities!

                   Let’s start with the original Pacific Princess, aka The Love Boat. This veteran cruise ship, which was a good representative of the industry in the early 1970’s, was 550’ long and had about 700 passengers aboard. She was also a registered 19,000 Gross Tons.

                   My first cruise was in 1983, aboard Holland-America’s MS Volendam which was a staggering 574’ long and a whopping 14,000 gross tons!  😊 Aboard were 550 of my new best friends. The Volendam was, at that time, becoming one of the smaller cruise ships as the industry was really blossoming and the ships had already started to grow. The MS Volendam can be forgiven for her relative pint-size as her keel was laid way back in 1957 for the old Moore-McCormack Line as the SS Brasil (yes, that spelling is correct!) One advantage to her size was that she was still the right size for many ports and their docks. The infrastructure of most ports had not yet caught up with the sizes of the newer ships. Consequently, the latest ones needed to anchor offshore and ferry their passengers into port in their tenders.

          Besides, the naval architects had yet to figure out how to make their giant floating hotels look anything like a sleek ocean liner and were left with these “Boxes on Barges”

                   Jumping to present day to give a comparison, the Island Princess which will be carrying all of us on this voyage is 964’ long, 93,000 Gross Tons, and will have about 2200 souls aboard (this number will increase as more and more of you sign on to this blog!) Our home ship is 20+ years old and is a good example of ships from that era.

                    Nowadays things are getting crazy!

                   Royal Caribbean has some of the largest ships afloat. The Wonder of the Seas comes in at 230,000 Gross Tons, is 1086’ long, and keeps over 7000 (!) voyagers safely within its bulkheads, along with on-board rollercoasters, waterslides, mini-golf courses, and twenty different eating establishments!

                   I can hear that undercurrent of murmurings from the class, as you all forgot to mute your microphones “What in King Neptune’s name is a Gross Ton and how does all of this compare?

                   I can answer that Ariel!

                   Gross Tons are the way that ships are classified, registered, and generally compared. It is a measurement of the interior volume of a ship. So, The Wonder of the Seas is over twelve times the size of the original Love Boat and over two and a half times the size of our present ship, the Island Princess.

                   To put this all into crazy perspective, the Gerald R. Ford, our newest and largest aircraft carrier, is the first of ten proposed Gerald R. Ford Class Carriers (replacing the Nimitz Class) and it comes in at about 110,000 gross tons, barely worth a mention in the race for largest cruise ship. Although, she can cruise for over fifty years without ever stopping!

 Now that’s a World Cruise!

Class dismissed, please be on time for embarkation check-in scheduled for 12:30 EST in Fort Lauderdale. Remember, the ship will sail without you!

It came to me last night that there must be some sadistic Marketing Executives hard at work within the Cruise Industry.

                   Who else would schedule a Multi-Month-Around-the-World Twenty-Four-Hour-Feeding-Frenzy directly after the Holidays?

                   I’ll be honest with you….

                   We tried our best.

                   Months ago, we decided to put our best efforts into trying to slim down, get more exercise, shed a few pounds, and generally get ready for three-squares-a-day (with someone else doing all the work!)  for the better part of four months.

                    We mapped out routes here at home, down in town, and over at the local lake. Off we went as quick as two somewhat agile (one with a bad knee, one with compressed discs) could muster.

                   We were mildly successful, we kept our weights under control, even dipping lower from time to time.

                    Then it happened.

                   Cookies.

                   And all of the other accoutrements that go with them like buttered vegetables, Pillsbury Croissants (with butter), mashed potatoes (with butter) and even Prime Rib that always roasts up better when slathered with a nice coating of butter. Make it a Compound Butter if you want to feel like it’s for the spices, but it’s still butter.

                   As you are all well aware, this Dairy-Heaven-on-Earth goes on ad infinitum until we are all glowing with yellow buttery-looking skin, somewhat akin to jaundice, but much more satisfying.

                   Now….. Let’s go on that Cruise!

                   We are lucky if we even come close to that “Starting Weight” that we benchmarked all those months ago!

                   But who cares?

                   There is a Walking Track on board!

                   We can hit that puppy first thing, get our miles and miles in just walking around the Promenade Deck, shedding all of those extra pounds that crept up on us over the last few weeks and promise to stay with us (and then some) as we go forward….. if…..we are not ever vigilant, keeping a wary eye peeled for an attack of Dark Chocolate Mousse, or worse yet, the endless supply of freshly baked and warmed cookies that are always out at the local equivalent of the onboard Starbucks.

                   I feel an immense sense of Failure looming over me.

                   But as long as it’s Dark Chocolate, I don’t really care!