Puerto Vallarta

Puerto Vallarta is not nestled on Banderas Bay simply because, is hard to nestle on the purportedly seventh largest bay in the world.

This is where it gets sticky.

Who measures this stuff?

When is a bay not a bay and become a gulf?

What exactly is the criteria used in these measurements?

After we docked we first went across the street from the Cruise Port to the most famous, and popular, attraction here for Passengers and Crew alike, El Walmarto de Puerto Vallarta and El Clubo de Sam and bought a tape measure. After renting a boat, it took us almost the entire day to measure the Bay. The best we could come up with was about 298 square miles. That puts this place somewhere between that possible seventh place, all the way down to tenth place.

Either way it’s big! Big enough for Humpback Whales to use as a breeding ground!

                             It was a good thing that our Tour of the City Highlights started later in the day than usual, so we were able to ditch our rented boat and climb aboard the Big Bus for the Tour.

                             We probably could have arrived much later as it took eons to get everyone aboard.

                             We have discovered something.

                             We knew that we would be traveling with an inordinate amount of older cruise passengers than would normally populate an average cruise. Who’s got four months to kill going around the world?

                             Retired (read old) folks!

                             Old folks with canes, walkers, and wheelchairs.

                             A lot of them!

                             Hence the extended needed time to load and unload the cargo (oops, passengers!) each time we stopped for a mini-excursion from the Bus.

Our first stop was at El Malecon, or The Boardwalk. The boards have been replaced with concrete and not too long ago, widened probably a good fifty feet. This mile-long esplanade features everything that you would expect on a boardwalk except (for the Jersey readers) skee-ball and other arcade attractions. There are various works of art (sculptures) that dot the seaside along the beach. It is obviously very popular and was well attended while we were there.

Our second stop was at The Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  Started in 1903 and not finished until 1987, it wears a crown on the very top, a replica of the crown worn by Carlota, an Empress of Mexico. Damaged by an earthquake in 1997, it was repaired by the sculptor Octavio Gonzales, the same guy that created many of the bronze pieces along El Malecon. They are very beautiful!

From there we went “Shopping”.

You know, that mandatory stop at the friend of the tour guides place. In this case it was a jewelry store. The merchandise was of a higher quality, pretty to look at, but we did not get to the “negotiations” level so I cannot speak to its price.

Back on the cattle car, we drove south to one of the more famous spots around here. In fact, it’s the one that put Puerto Vallarta on the map. Well not really, as it’s been here since the 1500’s, but it wasn’t until 1964 when John Huston’s The Night of the Iguana was released, and the world was exposed to the beauty of this little hamlet. Both Huston and the star of the film, Richard Burton, bought homes here and the world followed. Throw the Love Boat into the mix about a decade later and Whammo! we’ve got a bona fide seaside resort on our hands!

Our last stop was at a really cool restaurant where they offered us Margaritas.

You know, the ones with Tequila (!)

They were strong!

I had one!

Paula did too, but she can hold her liquor better than I can. It’s a good thing that Jose’ was driving the Senior Mobile back to the ship!

The ride back was a raucous one with someone starting “A Hundred Bottles of Tequila on the Wall”, but it didn’t last because not only does Tequila have two syllables and is hard to sing in the original meter (beer only has one syllable), but everyone eventually needed a nap, and fell asleep.

                   When we arrived back at the Cruise Terminal, we found that we had a neighbor. Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas was pulled in alongside of us. This ship is about the same age as ours (twenty years old) but is a full 50% larger! We weigh in at about 93,000 gross tons and they come in at a whopping 143,000 gross tons! (Remember our lesson a few posts ago?) And this pales in comparison to their newest ships that weigh in at 230,000 gross tons and can handle up to 7000 passengers! It’s not for me, but it’s still impressive!

                             Our Sail away was remarkable in its own right. We needed to deftly back out of our berth, not hit the Navigator, swing the stern to Port and then go forward and through the Ship Canal. This little Ship Harbor was obviously made for the cruise ships of yore that were only about 750’ in length. All of this maneuvering was done sans tugboats! Bow and stern thrusters only! It was, I’m sure, all routine for them, but it was impressive none the less!