The Riviera’s and Swashbucklers – On the Road with Don and Paula

All alone, a millpond, aptly named *pacific* by Mr. Cortez

We are sailing up the western coast of Mexico, bound for Puerta Vallarta. You all remember Puerta Vallarta, it was the destination of the original Love Boat along with Captain Stubing, Julie, Isaac, Gopher, and the Doctor. Puerta Vallarta is a member of the ports that compromise the Mexican Riviera.

I added that little yellow dot to the northern coast of Baja California to represent *Ensenada*, which is sometimes included in the ports of the Mexican Riviera.

Much like poor Venice, who’s name gets batted about with reckless abandon when describing any city with “canals”, the term “Riviera” was originally used to describe the region of France that is located on their southern coast along the Mediterranean. It is now used around the world to describe a selection of cities along a particular coastline. It’s OK, as they say, “Imitation is best form of flattery”, so I’m sure that the folks in France can handle it. We will be visiting some of those ports in France later in the voyage, so more on those places in a few months.

The “Original” Riviera. We will be calling at Villefranche-sur-Mer, where we will be taking an excursion to *Monte Carlo*. We have an appointment with Bond, James Bond, for Baccarat and Martini’s, shaken not stirred.

Our “Days at Sea” are the Maritime parts of the voyage. Most of the time we are out of the sight of land, and we rarely see another ship around. I really enjoy listening to the sounds of the hull as it ply’s though the water. Even in gentle swells, as the bow rises and falls, you can hear the creaks and groans of the hull gently twisting and torquing as the forces of the water change on a hull that is almost a thousand feet long. It reminds me of one of those old seafaring black and white movies where the camera tilts slightly back and forth to simulate a ship on the high seas and you can hear the rigging and hull making those wonderful creaking sounds in the background. That is what it sounds like at night when everything else has calmed down and it’s just you in your hammock swinging back and forth, gently rocking you to sleep.

Yes, I know… we have a queen-sized bed in a nice stateroom…. but I can dream, can’t I?

Speaking of sights and sounds…. I would be remiss if I did not include the smells, or aromas, if you please, and I am not speaking about the wonderful epicurean delights that emanate from the Galley!

I’m speaking about the maintenance factors of the ship! Nothing gets me going like the smell of a good spar varnish, or some CRC 656, used as a lubricant, (somewhat like WD-40). We get these wonderful aromas when we walk around the Promenade Deck and pass the various hatches and entryways that lead into the nether-regions of the ship. These portals are strictly verboten, except to the crew, and the penalty for entering these magical places varies from a dress-down by the Staff Captain to being forced to walk the plank, or at the worst being drawn and quartered or keel-hauled.

A section of the Promenade Deck that runs under the bow section, that sometimes has hatches open for us to peer into.

One of the open hatches that lead into the Secret Sections of the ship.

So…. We stay outside those areas and can only imagine the cool stuff the only the crew gets to see!

Speaking of being reprimanded by Command, I can see a storm a brewin’ on the horizon and it ain’t the meteorological kind!

It’s with the Passengers.

Yes, all of us fun loving, sun basking, overeating gluttons are in for the fight of our lives.

Here’s the issue.

We (the collective of passengers) have formed tight bonds as only those that have faced seafaring dilemmas together can realize.

In Los Angeles, we disembark a fair amount of our fellow shipmates and here’s the rub…. We embark a passel of new shipmates, the “Interlopers”, as it were. I can feel the tension growing as we get closer and closer to Los Angeles. At first it was only rumors, but those undercurrents of discontent have a way of permeating even the most innocuous conversations. Scuttlebutt about “Taking out the La La’s” (LA – short for Los Angeles) is being heard in even the Mahjong and Bridge playing circles and is definitely a topic with the daily Trivia Contest followers. We, the “Forts” (short for Fort Lauderdale), won’t stand for any La La’s coming on board and trying to just settle in without “paying King Neptune”.

The most vocal group on board is the Knitting and Crocheting Ladies who meet every morning at ten in the Explorers Lounge. They have been heard to be planning something nefarious that involves brandishing their Knitting Needles and Crocheting Hooks.