Author: donhall930

                        This was my 5^th trip to London. I am quite enamored with this City for many reasons, it’s quaintness, history, friendliness, and of course, its Olde Book Shoppes up on Cecil Court, just off of Charing Cross Road. Get off of the Piccadilly Line at Leicester (pronounced Lester) Square, drop down three lanes and you’re there! As an aside, you all remember “You’ve Got Mail”, well that story was taken from an older 1940’s movie entitled “The Shop Around the Corner” and that shop was located on Charing Cross Road which is the epicenter of book sellers in London and back in the day, around the world.

                        We started our first full day in London dressed in our clothes from the day before. I guess that it was a good thing that we did not hoof it around on the Underground (instead of the limo) as we would have been quite ‘sweaty’ and probably unable to nicely re-dress in the same come the next day. So, all we had was an airplane ride, and short walk around the block for some really good pizza (yes, it is true) then Zzzzzzz.

                        Since we knew that BA would cover reasonable expenses when it came to getting some replacement clothing, we inquired of the Front Desk about where we might find a bit of good shorts, etc. We were directed to Tottenham Court Road (about a 15-minute walk) and we found all that we needed there. This was also a good warm-up in the Steps Department as we knew that walking was definitely on the schedule for the next few days.

                        Back to the room to change (round-trip about 3800 steps) and then off to our local Underground station, Russell Square. I chose this hotel because of its proximity to the Russell Square Station as I had used it once before on a previous trip. I found it very convenient as it is on the ‘Piccadilly Line’ and one stop away from the exchange to the ‘Central Line’, both of which are good starting points for Underground travel.

                        Some things have changed in the past twenty-five years since I was over there. One is the way to get into the Underground System and the other is me (us), more on that later.

                        In the Olde Days one needed to obtain a photo ID and a Weekly Pass that worked in the turnstiles. Nowadays all that is needed is a credit card that has that ‘Tap’ symbol, and the system does all of the tracking of your On’s and Off’s so it can bill correctly. It was nicely efficient!

                        On the subject of ‘us/me’….. I conveniently forgot that I was about 45 years old the last time I was there and admittedly a bit spryer than I am now. So, my visions of running helter-skelter around London, hopping on and off the Tube and jamming in as many sights as we could on a day went out the proverbial window, which was already open, because there’s no air conditioning!

                        Our destination for that first full day was the Tower of London or just ‘The Tower’ as it is known around there. 959 years ago, there was a really big battle with enormous consequences, and I am positive that all of you know which one I am talking about!

                        The year was 1066 and it was the Battle of ….. Hastings!

                        Yes! I knew that that date was engraved into your brains by Mr. Dooley, Junior Year World History teacher! William the Conqueror came across the Channel and pummeled the locals under good ol’ King Harold (last of the Anglo-Saxon kings). William became known as William I and the next King after Charles will be his son William, Prince of Wales, who will be known as William V (the 5^th)

                        Back to the Tower. A few years later William started construction of a castle on the Thames (pronounced Temz, I tell you this because for quite a while I thought that it was Th-ames!) and it has grown ever since. The Tower is one of the Must See’s on any good London Itinerary. It is here that the Crown Jewels are secured, and it is here that Henry the VIII had two of his six wives executed.  Catherine Howard and Anne Boleyn were both beheaded there for ‘Treason  and Adultery’. Interestingly, Henry married Jane Seymour just ten days after Anne’s death. Hmmm…. I wonder….

                        One of my favorite sayings is ,”You can’t make this stuff up” meaning that truth is stranger, and just as good as, fiction. I am waiting for the right Director/Producer/Studio team to begin Season I of The Monarchy and have the guts to see it through, do it correctly, no need for embellishment, stick to the facts, Mini-Series. This may take several years to complete as there are almost 1000 years to cover, but I do know that the entire span is absolutely fascinating, and I don’t just mean Henry VIII!

                        When we visited, it was still quite warm and was relatively un-crowded as the Heavy Tourist time was not until a few weeks away. But still, the line to see the Crown Jewels was about an hour long! We decided to forgo the Jewels for now, check out some other parts of the Tower, and make our way back to the line later on when it would normally drop off as folks left to go home. In the meantime we went through the White Tower, the first building raised here in 1078. The Tower was once a fortress, a Castle, an Armory, has a (the) small Chapel of St. John the Evangelist, and of course, the basement Torture Chamber. It’s an interesting subject this torture stuff. Gibbet cages, tar and feathering, the Rack, and the list goes on….. long ago I visited Warwick Castle, (pronounced War-ick) a splendid example of medieval English Castle Architecture. It was originally built by our old friend Bill the Conqueror in 1068, just two years after he ran roughshod through the Anglo ranks. Originally a wooden stockade, it was eventually rebuilt in true castle, tower, and moat style during the 12^th century and is considered one of the best examples of that castle style in Britain. I was eager to see it! The grounds are great, the Castle, quite imposing, but…… I decided to go down to the dungeon and check it out. It was a weekday, not in tourist season, and I was the only person down there. I lasted about a minute before I felt uneasy and had some ominous feelings creep up inside me.  Time to go! Out I went and I have resisted the temptation to return to other examples of this type of room ever since. I don’t think that I was mistaken in my feelings. Haunting is a good description for sure.

                        We did not get to see any type of torture equipment, not even the pillory, which is quite harmless, except for one’s dignity! Inside the White Tower we saw great examples of armor, both for horse and for men. Swords were abounding in their supply and some early muskets were also on display. Suits of armor for Kings were quite ornamental if not downright gorgeous! Multiple colors of metal were used for adornments and from their looks, I believe that they were rarely used except for ceremonial purposes.

                        The views of the Tower Bridge are great from here! This bridge is sometimes confused, as it known (incorrectly) as London Bridge. London Bridge is just a regular, ho-hum, pedestrian and motor vehicle bridge over the Thames. The Tower Bridge is far more ornate and is unlike anything else around, hence its exceptional notoriety.

FYI, the original London Bridge was a wooden one started by those guys that built stuff wherever they went, the Romans. Several iterations of this span have been on the same location since that time back in 50 AD. One of the coolest is the Medieval one (no surprise there!) it was alive from  the early 1200’s to the early 1600’s and it had businesses and lodgings and some gruesome Spiked Heads of Criminals (warnings to Bad Persons) at its entrance. Seen here.

The best-known version follows that one and it’s the one that Robert McColloch (McColloch Chainsaws, etc.) bought back in the ‘60’s. McColloch had it moved piece by piece to a new resort town he was constructing on the shore of the lake formed by the Parker Dam on the Colorado River between Arizona and California named Lake Havasu. Seen here when we visited it back in January of 2021.

            Enough about London Bridge!

            More importantly, the Tower of London was the site where Paula was able to fulfil one of her two Travel Desires. They both are food related, this one is for original Fish and Chips served authentically in that wrapping and eaten not in Texas, or New Jersey, but in London itself. Mission Accomplished! The second request will not be realized, or revealed, for a day or two! Stay tuned.

                        We will end this day’s Notes of Importance with the Ravens of the Tower. There are several story lines that underscore the importance of having the Ravens at The Tower. They are mostly rooted in the 1600’s and Charles II. It is well known that killing a Raven is bad luck and for folks back then this was even more believed than it is today. They (the Ravens) were making a nuisance of themselves and several folks wanted then banished (not killed) from the Tower, but Charles II was told that if the Ravens left, his reign and the country itself would fall. Hmmm…. he decided that the Ravens could stay, and they are still there, tended by one of the Yeoman Warders, the Ravenmaster, whose job it is, is to see that these flighty big black birds are watched over nicely. In thinking about it, the Ravenmaster may have the most important job in the entire Realm…. it is a lot of responsibility to have the fate of an entire nation resting on your ability to keep some Birds from flying the coop (as it were!)

                        We made our way back to the Underground and repeated the three-line change in order to get back on the Piccadilly Line and our station at Russell Square. Back to the President Hotel, Collapse (it was a 13,000-step day…. a lot of them stairs!) and I forget what we did about dinner. The next day we intelligently decided to do a HO-HO Bus and try and at least do Drive-By’s of some of the sights and maybe keep walking at a Recuperating Level.

                        But, that’s the next post!

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!

                               That would be correct Dorothy, and as someone once stated, “All good things must come to an end.” So here we find ourselves at the end of our River Cruise, and we are in Amsterdam waiting for our Flight to……

                                                London!

                                                Not Newark! We’re not comin’ home yet!

                                                We’re not done yet!

                                                Not by a longshot!

So, if you thought that you were going home today, just forget about it! You’d best go and rinse out a few items because from here on there’s no Laundry Service aboard as we will be in a stationary, always in the same place we left it, take an elevator up, hotel.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We boarded our flight from Amsterdam to London/Heathrow  with little fanfare. All normal.

           Until we reached London.

           There we found out that one of our suitcases (the BIG one) was going on its own adventure to Places Unknown. British Airways was pretty good about helping us with the Lost Luggage process (more on that later). We are in the President Hotel, which is nice enough, but it has no air-conditioning, which in London, usually is not an issue. Unfortunately, the Hot Weather from Europe followed us over there and made it just a little warmer than normal, but bearable when you are used to Texas weather!

           We had decided not to go crazy whilst in London, a few items a day would suffice nicely. We could have easily taken the Underground from Heathrow into the city and would have, had we not had heavy luggage!

           But wait! We didn’t have heavy luggage because that Big One was AWOL somewhere… but it was too late to cancel our nice black Mercedes Limo that was picking us up, as the driver was already waiting for us! Oh well.

           We spent the rest of the afternoon resting as it was almost time to search for somewhere to have dinner. Oh, and British Air did find our errant luggage! Apparently, it got chummy with a bunch of fly-by-night duffel bags and thought it wanted to go ‘elsewhere’. It was rounded up before it had a chance to permanently vamoose. It arrived the next day, late in the afternoon but not before we went ahead (with British Airway’s blessing) and purchased a few ‘essentials’. We ended up going to the shops on Tottenham Court Road (what a cool name!) in Central London to pick up these up. First it was an Outdoors Store for some shorts and a shirt, then down the street to really large clothing store to get some new unmentionables. This is the store that Paula could have spent the day in as the offerings and the prices were quite good.  Back to the room to exit yesterday’s clothes and don todays nifty new outfits….. shorts and some new shirts!

           +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++                     

Ok, it’s time for me to come clean.

I can’t continue to pretend to be in the Past. We are home now, but I’m afraid that the days got away from me and trying to Post every day without the aid of a few Sea Days, well, it is impossible to keep up… but I did try!

I’m trying to determine how I’m going to handle the next few days in London, and I think that I’ll just figure it out along the way. You may get some combined days if that makes sense, you will be the first to know! We didn’t jam-pack anything, so each day was at a comfortable pace. Mostly all of the essential sights/sites were sighted, some good pics were taken, and the weather was always nice, albeit a tad hot. Since ‘today’ is almost over and all we need to do is find dinner, tomorrow will be the Tower of London and that Shopping that you’ve already heard about!

So, Cheerio! for now as my phone is ringing. It looks like the Captain of our plane wants to know if I can help him find a new place of employment.                                                                         

I do know of an outfit that flies out of Hong Kong…..

                Scene: The year is 1150 AD and two Dutch men are standing in a low-lying area prone to flooding. They are discussing solutions to their dilemma.

                        Berend: “Say me goot friend Adriaan, I haave me ze idea. Why don’t wee build up somme berry big mounds of ze dirt, und den ze waters won’ be to boother us no moore tymes.”

                        Adriaan: (With a bewildered look on his face asks) “Whoot are ja thinkin, Berend? Builda mounds a da dirt? Sounds ta mee jus a tad too haard”!

                        Berend: “Ja Adriaan, wee culd jes build ze dykes and make zum wiindermiills to do ze poomping of ze waaters and den wee haave ze land to plaant ze wegeetaables!”

                        Adriaan: “Why don’t wee jus move to ze higher land?”

            And so it came to pass that Adriaan moved his family to higher ground, started a sawmill and cut timber and sold it to his friend Berend who used it to build Windmills after he dug thousands of cubic yards of dirt and piled the dirt so that it made a ring of land (called polders) that the water could be pumped from so that he and his progeny could farm that land. Adriaan eventually sold his lumber business to Castle Depot and retired on the shore of the North Sea in a big waterfront mansion. He did, however, buy some weggatables from his goot friend Berend.

                                    We visited the area known as Kinderdijk (pronounced kinder-dike) in the Netherlands in order to see their Historic Windmills that are still standing and inhabited. And even though the daily management of the crucial water levels are handled now by more modern screw-conveyor pumps, the Windmills can, on a moment’s notice, be re-engaged and reclaim their previous roles in this incredible water management/polder/dike pumping system.

When we spoke to one of the “millers” it seemed that they, as a group, were secretly hoping for an electrical issue to arise so that the call for help would be answered by the old stand-by, the venerable Windmills of the Dutch Lowlands.

                        Our ship docked within walking distance of the Windmills, but it was far cooler to take an old barge (converted to an excursion boat) and motor to one of the mills that are open to the public. These windmills at Kinderdijk are now a National Historic District that immortalizes the basic process that lets Holland be Holland. If not, the Netherlands would be about 2/3 smaller in size. You see, the rest is below sea level! It is one thing to be below sea level and have no water around you (like Death Valley). It is quite another thing to be below sea level and have the North Sea as your neighbor!

                        Their system is quite ingenious. They use a series of ‘reservoirs’ at one level, further pump up the water to the next retaining area, and then finally move that water up and into the Rhine so that it is mixed in and carried away.

                        The windmills do the ‘work’. As the wind part (sails) turn the mills gearing, it turns an axle that is connected to a waterwheel type apparatus. This wheel is more like a ‘scoop’ as it picks up water with each blade and lifts it up about three feet and deposits it up in the next level either a reservoir or the river. This needs to be done in stages as the mills are of a certain ‘scale’ and that three-foot lift is what they do best. Over here, our mills are powered by running water (waterwheel) which turns the gearing and gets harnessed for grinding or maybe sawing. Our Western Windmills actually operate a staged pump with valves to bring ground water up for cattle and us. I hope that you can see the difference among these types of ‘mills’

                        Some of the windmills have been in a family’s possession for hundreds of years and those families still live inside even though the original need for them has been replaced by more modern pump systems.

                        Everything is done, or adjusted, by hand. The windmills can swing 360 degrees so that they may face into the wind no matter which direction it is coming from. And they are held in position not unlike a boom on a sailboat….. with a line affixed to bollards set around the mill. The ‘sails’ or paddles can be adjusted by unfurling sets of canvas that can wholly or partially cover them, so that the speed of the mill can be regulated.

                        Mostly all of the mill-folk that we encountered were volunteers, from our Guide and barge captain, down to the miller and the young lass who in period costume did ’chores’ around the mill. They do this because they are enraptured by their local history and the notion of perseverance and resilience of their people that enjoy world-wide acceptance of these attributes.

                        I kept looking for that little boy with his finger in the dike, holding back the Sea all by himself, like a true Dutchman!

                        (If you are starting this Post and wonder what is going on, why is not anything really Identified, please see the previous Post, at least the end, for an explanation!)

                        We were part of an Exclusive Inside/Behind the Scenes/Way-Way Up Top, Hold on to Your Hats Tour. It was unlike anything that I have done before. I have been to the top of St. Peter’s in Rome and the Duomo in Florence, inside their ceilings and up on their roofs. It was incredible.

                                    But they paled in comparison to what we experienced in this German City.

                        As you know from the previous post, there is always some type of repair and restoration work going on here. These Valiant Artisans need a way to get up and down in order to get to their places of expertise. We used the same ‘Lift’ that they use, complete with scary sounds and rumblings, clattering doors that slide shut (?) and the wondering if it can lift all twelve of us when the sign inside says, “Maximal 11 Personen”.

No worries, we all made it!

            Our Guide was Danielle, and she was so professional that we could swear that she was part of the restoration crew in her spare time. There was NOTHING that she did not know about, including the architectural/structural specifications and designs.

                                    And…. she had the Keys to all the locks!

                        Danielle shepherded us into the Cage like a good Class Mother, counted us off, and away we went. We exited at the level of those Flying Buttresses and walked a few planks to reach the side of the Cathedral. (Deep Breath!)

                        Pausing at the Flying Buttresses, we heard about how and why they are needed when walls reach a certain height/width/roof type, etc. They also were kind of designed as they went along. Just think about this…. the Cathedral was started in the 1200’s and finished in the 1800’s…… do you maybe think that some advances were made in engineering along the way? How would they integrate/change structurally when trying to keep to the original plans (that were re-discovered in an attic one hundred miles away) years and years later! Fascinating does not even begin to scratch the surface here!

                        Danielle led us through a labyrinth of high-up corridors that sometimes required a bit of faith that we were not stepping off into nothingness as the ancient passageway was in total darkness and had a turn in it. We could hear Danielle’s voice echoing either from in back or in front of us, confidencerizing us to proceed forward. Again, obviously we made it….

                        We entered the interior of the Cathedral way up above the throngs of folks milling about on the main floor, clueless that we were up there peering over railings that looked like they were miniatures when viewed from below.

I know this because we were down there that morning and saw where we were going to be, although we had no idea at the time that that was where our future lay. At this point we circumnavigated the Nave and were looking directly at the stained-glass windows. To view these works of art from below is enrapturing…… to view them from these lofty heights was like being in heaven! We were well above the lofted Organ and attached Choir which really made us feel the height!

                        We entered the ‘attic’ of the main part of the church, the Nave and we were able to see how the lead roof ‘shingles/panels were affixed to the rafters. The place is immense and is used for all sorts of storage and since the beams holding all of these building materials and scaffolding bits sits atop the solid building-block walls, a lot of items can be stored up there without compromising the integrity of the building itself. There is even a scale model of the Cathedral and the surrounding area that was used a long time ago for planning purposes.

                        Outside we went again and yes, back into the Cage, to ascend even higher. Our goal was the Transept Tower which is above the altar and on top of the Tower is a bronze sculpture that is shaped like the…….. (I will let you figure it out but remember what is down below inside that Reliquary. I will give the answer at the end!) We stayed up there for a while, taking as many pics as we wanted. Oxygen was provided, not because there were five million spiral stairway steps to ascend, but because it was so breathtaking in both the views and the Total Experience! (not really but there were a few of us ‘mature’ folks that could have benefited from a few gulps of O2!)

                        That was the end of our Special Tour even though we still needed to navigate our way back down to Terra Firma. Like the now seasoned pro’s that we were, we entered our favorite Cage for the return trip back down to reality and of course…. Dinner!

                        We get asked all the time to relate to folks what our favorite places, etc. are and it is almost impossible to answer that question as there are so many that rise above, but then even those cannot be compared as they are so different.

                                    Until now.

                                    Now being apart of this magnificent heavenly grand example of humans trying to please their God is on one level, life changing. We wish for you peace and grandness as it comes in all shapes and sizes.

                                    PS….. It is the Star of Bethlehem (because the Magi are directly below it!)

                        A visit to Cologne, Germany means a visit to the Cathedral, Period. According to our Guide in morning, Ido, the City identifies with the Cathedral so much that the local folks cannot pull themselves apart from it. From the WWII soldiers returning from the war to find it standing there unscathed amidst the ruins of the rest of the city, to the present-day support for all of the ongoing rehabilitation of an almost 1000-year-old building, life in Cologne, IS the Cathedral.

                                    And it is easy to see why.

                                    Thankfully someone invented photography back in the day, because that old adage, “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words” could not be truer when it comes to this subject. I dare say one could raise that Number to a million and it would still ring true.

                        We started the morning with a Walking Tour of Cologne, which meant that we were going to walk to the Cathedral and receive some tid-bits along the way and return by a slightly different route in order to receive a few more tid-bits then. The tid-bits were as fabulous as it gets, as our Guide is a true Cologne(r) and is as proud as they come.

Remember a few Posts ago I told you about how the Guides do not hesitate to discuss WWII and the Holocaust? Well, Ido is the epitome of these Guides. He would tell a story and then ask us if we wanted to hear more, as in “go ahead, don’t mince any words” and he was true to his word when it came to this. He pointed out various items that kept that era alive and unforgotten as these people have vowed not to let what happened here, under their control, be forgotten. They have accepted the guilt for their older family members and have made it clear that it cannot be forgotten nor just swept under a rug.

                        There were some lighter sides to our tour as he pointed out a few things that the random person would never have seen or understood. For example, Stone Masons. These guys had a sense of humor and with all of the carvings of everything adorning their Cathedral and Public Buildings, there was ample opportunities to “be creative.” There are several folks’ effigies that are carved up on the Cathedral, mixed in with the Saints that look suspiciously like the carver himself…..

Hmmm, let’s see…. There’s St. Peter, John the Baptist, St. John, the Virgin Mary……hey who’s that? St. ‘Bill’ the Stone Mason????

Yup!

Or how about showing us what you really think about the Town Mayor that you’ve been assigned to carve for all posterity?

Stone Masons are still hard at work stabilizing, re-surfacing, and otherwise engaged in the full-time job of keeping the Cathedral from crumbling and decaying. You may wonder how that could happen so I’ll use just one word, and you will understand: Sandstone.

            Now I’ll add a few more, acid rain, an earthquake in 1902 in the Netherlands (oops! did someone say Plate Tectonics? 😊) and rusting old ironworks, all to name but a few issues that face the Cathedral today.

As you look at the Cathedral, you do notice that it is a patchwork of colors, mainly due to the replacement of the sandstone blocks over the years with blocks of similar sandstone and other rock, but nothing identical. Believe it or not, there are masons so specialized that they can cut out an infected block and slide in its replacement without disturbing its neighbors? That is why there is a Permanent Fund and Permanent Organization to facilitate the upkeep and renewal of this grand church. It is planned to be in perpetuity and that is how it must remain, as there is no cure for old age.

I guess it’s about time that I tell you about the Cathedral itself. As you can surmise, there is so much information about the Cologne Cathedral that it is very difficult to curate what is important and what is superfluous. I will do my best to straddle that fence as getting too technical will just make you scream, and I don’t want your neighbors to come running to find out what’s wrong!

            The Cathedral was started in 1248 AD.

            Ok, that’s it, class dismissed.

                        No! No! we want more!

Are you sure? Remember, be careful what you wish for!

                        More! Tell us what happened in 1560!

Ok, hang on….

            Construction was ongoing for 312 years until it all stopped in 1560. Mainly because of the reason that most projects lay dormant…. Funding.

Now it sits for an additional 282 years until someone decided to do something about it and said, “Hey, let’s finish this thing!” Or something like that and then it took only about forty years to get it to what it looks like today. Restoration efforts began in the 1950’s (after WWII) and continue today, as you will soon see. To say that Someone is watching over this place is an understatement, especially when you look at photos from WWII and see that the Cathedral is basically untouched. We could get misty-eyed and say that the Allies did their best to not target and hit the Cathedral, but all the bombings that took place were of the “High Altitude Carpet-Bombing” type missions and everyone will tell you that it is impossible to be that accurate. Theories anyone? 😊

You may ask yourself, why so grand a Cathedral?

The answer is more complicated than just ‘because’.

It is obvious that these grand churches of yesteryear were constructed both for adoration and worship but they were also made by man which means that “we want ours to be the biggest and the best!” It was also a way of ensuring that those Pearly Gates are open when the Big Day arrives for you. BTW, this Cathedral is dedicated, in part, to Saint Peter (how convenient!) it was also constructed because about a hundred years before it was started (like in the late 1100’s) the City came into the possession of the relics of the Three Wise Men, The Magi, or The Three Kings. Now, this is Big Stuff! They were ‘acquired’ when the peeps went to war with Milan and were brought back as ‘Spoils of War’. And…”we need a cool new place to hold them ‘cuz our old one burnt down”

Wait until you see what was made for the relics, only the largest, and most ornate, golden Reliquary from the Middle Ages! Shown here:

I think that I’ll end this one here. Please read on because there is a Note Of Great Relevance posted below. See you upstairs, way up top, in the Belfry so to speak. But I may need a day or two to put it together!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Warning: the next Post will be tied closely with this one and will show images of our ‘Once in a Lifetime, Can’t believe That I’m Here, Hand’s Down One of the Most Bestest Things I’ve Ever Done, Special Tour.’

I am telling you this now because one of the requests made of us was not to share photos of what you’ll see on Social Media. I know what they did not want to happen and that is for some idiot photo op to go viral and cause issues. They said that we could take all the photos that we wanted and share them with friends and family, but please no Public Sharing aka Social Media. So, in my attempt to make sure that I comply with those wishes, I am not going to use any Proper Names of the Cathedral that may popup in an Internet Search. This is not a private Post (Blog), but all of you are known to me and are here by invitation, so you are considered Friends and Family. Get Ready.

                        After the excitement of the Castles and the Meteorological Temps/Wind Event of the morning we were looking forward to our second, yes, second Wine Tasting Event of the cruise. But no worries, we did have a Designated Driver in Franz, our Driver du Jour. We blew into Koblenz like the stagecoach skidding to a halt in front of Miss Kittie’s Saloon. Not really, as these skinny eel-shaped vessels rarely exceed 15 knots on the river and obviously much slower when docking. Meanwhile, Franz is waiting for us as we are docking.

                        Koblenz also waited patiently for us as we needed to have lunch first, the go to the Winery! Koblenz is a moderate sized city, with a fully developed downtown area, a cable car that goes way up across the river to an old fortress turned public space, and it is the gateway to the Moselle wine growing region. As a matter of fact, Koblenz sits at the actual confluence of the Rhine River and the Moselle River.

                        It was late midafternoon by the time we met Franz and his Ultra Bus (most European Tour Busses fit into this category…. All gorgeous!) who drove us up the Moselle River and into another tiny village called Winningen. Here we visited the Weingut Weyh where we met Peter the 4^th generation owner. These folks have been in this business since 1919 and like I mentioned in a previous Post, are extremely proud of their efforts and heritage.

The Moselle Region is probably the most noted for its Riesling’s, a very accepted variety that goes well with anything you’d like to have with it because I am not anyone to speak about what goes with what. I am waiting for the Chocolate and Wine Pairing Event which I am sure is offered somewhere in the World!

                        It seems that around here that the Tastings be conducted down in a Cellar. I’m not sure how much this adds to the authenticity of the event as it is clear to see that not all cellars were used in the production of the vintages, but it is obvious that in this un-air-conditioned part of the world, being underground on a hot summer’s day has its advantages. And…. they do decorate it nicely. Remember, we are Tourons!

                        Unfortunately for Peter, he had to follow the Tasting earlier in the week in France in the Alsatian winery of Albert Seltz…. you remember them, the 14-generation guys? As good as the wines may have been here at Weyh, I could feel that the vibe in the room did not match the one at Albert’s place. So we politely drank what was offered and proceeded to buy some Weinbergspfirsich and some Riesling Senf!

Yum-yum!

Some what???

Yea! What he said?

            We didn’t want to be ungrateful for the experience so some of that really hard to pronounce stuff was procured and stuffed in our bag. Some Euros (courtesy of MasterCard) were exchanged, and we can’t wait to get home and spread some Essence of Vineyard Peaches (jam) and some Riesling Mustard (not at the same time!) on our toast!

                        Back to the bus, back to the ship, and back to Eating! After dinner it was decided to take a ride on the gondola that swung uneasily over our heads as it worked its way up and over the Rhine to an old fortress that sits on top of a hill. Like everything else around here it had its start in Roman times and eventually became the home of the Archbishop of Trier during the Middle Ages. It is called the Ehrenbreitstein Fortress and is obviously well situated to guard that confluence of the Rhine and the Moselle.

Over the years and through both World Wars it has had various duties including being a stronghold to preserve archives and valuable historical objects. It is now the home to several museums, a youth hostel, and various cultural events and concerts. Some cool rock band was playing there when we arrived, don’t know their name, but they seemed to enjoy an enthusiastic and well-attended venue. Our goal was to find the side that looked down on Koblenz, the confluence, and of course, our home, the Hlin. It took us a while to find the correct path through the fortress, and we were not helped by the fact that the daylight was slowly receding westward. In fact, we arrived at the embattlement walls just in time to see the sun set… with about 17 seconds to spare. See the attached!

                        This new view afforded us some gorgeous sights that far above Koblenz and of course it all looked spectacular in the night.  We needed to vamoose rather quickly as we did not want to get stranded up there as the last aerial tram was at 11:00. Yes, sunset was just a few minutes ago, past 10 pm, but we are in the northern part of Germany and at these latitudes, that’s what happens! I was able to snap a few cool pics on the way down, seen here.

                        Tomorrow is one of the Highlights of an already memorable trip as we will be in Cologne, the site of the Cologne Cathedral. If you have already been there you will know what I mean, if you haven’t get ready to be unconditionally blown away by this exceptional Gothic edifice. I’ve seen photos, I can’t wait!

                        River Cruise vs Ocean Cruise.

                        It sounds like a WWF Big Match-Up.

                        But it isn’t.

                        It is only because these two entities are way too different to even try and compare them. But they do have one thing in common…. the boats float on the water and bring you to some really cool places that would be hard to get to on one trip if you did not go by boat.

                        I am going to assume that most of you have been on an Ocean Voyage, be it the 7-Day out of Miami to a few Caribbean Gems or the 111-day Behemoth that goes around the World. No matter, the experience varies slightly depending on your Ports, motives, and of course, the Umbrella Drinks.

                        Since we now are on a River Cruise I can speak with (very little) authority and try and give you some comparisons. This will pertain to a Viking Cruise as that is the Line that we are presently on. There are many more, AMA, Tauck, Avalon, Emerald, and Bill’s River Cruises. And when we speak about River Cruises, it’s William’s Cruises, they use Bill’s for their Ocean boats.

                        Maybe that is one of the key points of a difference…… Ocean Cruises are a bit less sophisticated only when it comes to the clientele or passengers. River Cruises seem to be a little more genteel in that department but only whilst aboard. You see, there are no Umbrella Drinks on a River Cruise. No pools either. We do have an Herb Garden that the Chef lovingly looks over on a daily basis but oddly (a juxtaposition) there are no Formal Nights on a River Cruise, attire is “Use Your Heads” don’t come to dinner in your cut-offs please. But nice shorts are allowed. I can’t wear shorts to dinner in the Dining Room on a Princess Cruise.

                        I hope you can sense my quandary here, trying to compare different items that obviously have their differences but not necessarily in the areas that you may expect! Now even I’m confused!

                        The next obvious difference comes in the size of the ship. This affects everything! Nowadays it’s not uncommon to be aboard an Ocean Cruise with 3500 to 7000 of your new best friends. Not on a River Cruise. The most that these boats can accommodate is around 190 passengers and some set out with around 150 or so. This is obviously a much more intimate setting and your familiarity with both your fellow passengers, and the ships complement, has been made easier. There is also no 24-Hour Food available unless you count the Cookies offered by the 24-Hour combination Coffee/Espresso/Hot Cocoa/ Tea/Frozen Daquiri Machine. (only kidding on the Daiquiri part, just checking to see if you were paying attention…. it’s really a seismograph to help with the roving detection of a Plate Tectonic Event!) But the Cookies are real.

                        Accommodations are nice, albeit just a little smaller than what you get on an Ocean Cruise…. Smaller ship equals smaller staterooms, check with your local River Cruise, results may vary, but not by much! When we booked this one the only accommodations left were some of the Veranda Suites. More expensive, but more room too! We figured that since there were four of us that the extra Living Room space would give us some room to play cards, Happy Hour, etc. plus it gave me some room to use for ‘communicating’ with all of you without having to go down to the lounge or somewhere else to write.

                        Dinner and lunch while aboard are at set times, 12:30 and 7:00 PM, and don’t think that you’re going to get that cozy port-side table for two overlooking the Cathedral! Well, you may get that view, but you’ll need to share it with your tablemates because unless you come with a group of six, you will be sharing! Six-tops are the smallest table available unless you go up on top to the Aquavit Café (more on that later). We had the four of us, Rick, Pat, Paula and me and luckily, we teamed up with an awesome couple from Delaware. Rose and Jack (only kidding! No Titanic references on a River Cruise!) Rose and Mike could not have been nicer and were an absolute pleasure to get to know. This is actually part of Viking’s modus operandi, they want you to mingle, and they know that you’ll end up with someone nice (most of the time!) We had most lunches and dinners with Rose and Mike, and we had a good time comparing both real lives and present excursions at our mealtimes. And it seemed that we always bumped into them on shore! Mike even mentioned that he could provide a 50amp service for the motorhome if we ever sauntered into Delaware….. hmm… be careful what you mention Mike! 😊

                        The ship is 135m or 443’ long and only 11.58m or 38’ wide. Remember the ultimate size comparison from the Ocean Cruises, the Gross Registered Ton? The largest being almost 300,000? Well our little slim-line babies come in at little over 3000 tons! Almost a hundred times smaller! But there is no seasickness here as the Rivers rarely get any kind of tumultuous action going !

                        And they are ‘propulsionized’ by some tidy little mechanisms called “Azi-Pods”. These guys are all the rage now and were first introduced into the Cruise Industry back in 2004 on the Queen Mary II. Think of them maneuvering like an outboard motor does. The propellor itself moves almost 360 degrees, so there is no need for a rudder. The “thruster” in the bow is the same sort of mechanism so the captain ‘steers’ the ship with a tiny ‘joystick’ lever and this setup is far more maneuverable because unlike a big ship with a rudder that swings the stern around, this ‘fore and aft’ propulsion configuration is like having four-wheel steering on a car, both ends are used when turning! We know this because we received a Pilot House Tour. It’s not called the Bridge on this kind of vessel; it’s a Pilot House and has been for over a hundred years… just ask Mark Twain!

                        This maneuverability comes in handy on the river because there are tons of traffic on the Rhine! Countless ships and barges ply up and down this waterway like it was I-80 in rush hour. In fact, we went through eleven locks on our way down to Amsterdam and the North Sea. Where we started in Basel the River is roughly 250m or 750’ above sea level. So that means that the river drops that much over 450 miles or about three feet in 2/3 of a mile on average in the navigable places. That’s too much for normal shipping unless you are White-Water Rafting outfit delivering coal downriver! So, the locks and side canals were constructed mainly in the middle of the last century and as you may imagine, these locks are narrow! Most of our Lock Transits are done at night because that’s when most of our traveling is done.

                        Many of the barge/boats are privately owned (and lived on) as you can see their vehicles strapped down on deck, waiting for their own on-board crane to lift them ashore. Kind of like an Independent Trucker minus the water!

                        That hopefully helps sum up a few of the differences and maybe highlights the attributes of a River Cruise, so compare as you may!

 We here at P&D Travel Consultants are always here to assist you in trying to find the perfect Cruise for you! Just call 1-800-Fix-Ruin (oops! That’s our Real Estate/ Castle Finding subsidiary!) well, you all have one of our numbers so call away!

                        The next day (after the Brawl at the Brauhaus) the Captain cast off the lines and headed north/west/down river to our next destination, that being a 40-mile stretch of the Middle Rhine that has about a billion castles sitting on the hillsides above the river. We will see 28 of them. The morning was rather leisurely before we shoved off, breakfast was paced nicely as the passengers awaited the trip down river and the Castles. About 37 seconds after we shoved off, Uma our Program Director and Narrator for this event announced, “On your left you can see our first Castle of the day, a small 13^th century model, the Klopp Castle features….”

                        Coffee spewed out of more than one person’s mouth as everyone ran to get up on deck as one and all thought that the Event started just a little bit later.

                        Have you seen that video on Instagram or Face Book where the ducks are coming outside their hutch and it had snowed and was cold? They march out, look around, shake their heads, and proceed to march back inside saying like “Not today!”

                        Well, that’s what it was like when the passengers started out to go up on deck. Little did they know that the temps had dropped overnight, the clouds had come in overhead, and the winds were blowing directly out of the North, (straight down the river) at about 15 mph. Couple that with our 10 mph forward speed and you’ve got a “Feels Like” wind of 25 mph. Now couple that with the drop in temp and we’ve got a wind chill situation not usually felt in the beginning of July.

But thars Castles to be seen!

                        A few hardy souls braved the climactic situation as they had come somewhat prepared with at least a sweatshirt. I did marvel at Vikings ability to schedule a Wind Event and Temp Turndown simultaneously with the NEED to be outside and up on deck. This ability to ply their Marketing Acumen into sales of windbreakers, sweaters, and foul weather gear should be one for the textbooks. I myself had been looking for an excuse to get this nifty Helly Hansen Wind/Waterproof Red Jacket ever since we boarded. I zoomed right down to the “Gotcha!” Shop and came back up on deck all toasty-like!

Luckily there were four kilometers between the first and next castles so I was able to get back upstairs pronto so that I would not miss anything!

                        So, here they are, in the Order of Their Appearance, complete with names and any descriptives needed. I hope that you enjoy your Rhine River Castles as much as we did!

Just a Note…. I have included several photos of the same Castle when the different angles/distances made a difference when looking at them, mostly for area context and now that I’ve finished loading all of the photos it seems like you’ll be seeing the full billion of them!

The next few days saw us having events together on a single day.

 This “Rhine River Mash-Up” should not be confused with 1956’s biggest selling album, The Bavarian Boys Sing ‘German Regions We Have Known’ , it’s just that due to itinerary scheduling, and the need to cover as much of the Rhine as possible, Viking utilizes both days and nights to the best extent possible. Usually that means Ports during the day, then jamming everyone back on board in enough time to scoot down river to the next Port where the process starts again. But what happens when the fun stuff is at night, and some really cool stuff is on the River during the day? Well, they “mash up” three days and make into one big, long, confusing (to those of us that usually have zero nightlife)

daaaaaay,

night,

daaaaaay – what do you mean the Castles have started already! event,

night

This confusing explanation will soon become apparently simple. And will unfold over the course of several Posts as it would be waaaay too long for one!

                        Short Version:

            Dock in Speyer, one of those great little towns that no one has ever heard of.

            Hurry back to the ship for some Scenic Cruising, but really to get to the second Port in one day, Rüdesheim, where there are several evening events scheduled! Back to the ship….ZZZZZ.

            Next morning, cast off the lines much later than usual because the Rhine River Castles ‘event’ part of the cruise starts this morning like…… NOW! (more on that later) and if they cast off too early the Castles would be inconveniently too early for some (most!) of the losers (oops! I mean passengers) that blasmusiked (oompahed) mit den Bavarian Brothers a little too much the night before.

            Then on to Koblenz for the afternoon and evening.

                                    Get it?

                                    Ok…… here we go, I can hear the crew up on deck getting ready to dock in Speyer, so please have your Ship’s ID and your Tour Tickets handy because they do not wait for you!

Speyer is an example of a simple little town that owes its existence to the fact that it sits on the banks of the Rhine and has so for 2100+ years. We all know that us Humanoids have roamed around for much longer that and we will all assume that Fred, Wilma, Barney, and Betty were all here before all of this ‘recording’ was set down, but/so for our purposes we’re going to start in the Roman times. Around 10 BC the Romans set up a camp here in an attempt to protect the northeast corner of the Roman Empire from the wild Germanic barbarians.

            Barbarians figured a lot into the olde tymes around here but guess who is calling who a barbarian? Yup, if ‘you’ were not part of one of the three great (?) civilizations, Greek, Roman, or Christian, you could be thrown into that mix of humanity called a Barbarian. Hah! That’s like the pot calling the kettle black! It’s fair to say that we all at one time or another have been guilty of being barbaric, but still the name is of a historic origin and will suffice for now.

            After that 10 BC camping trip the place wiggled back and forth among the peeps of the area until about 300 years had passed and then a Bishop came to town. Whatever your leaning is towards faith and religion, there is no disputing the effects of the Roman Catholic Church on world history. The Faithful were scared to death of being sent to Hadestown for all eternity and would do just about anything to keep themselves ‘safe’ (except acting the way they should) so in order to make up for their ‘faults’ they gave lots of money, land, jewels, and other trappings of success to the Church in a way to buy their way out of the Big Negative. Hence, the riches of the Church grew and grew.

            Around 1030 Conrad II, one of the Holy Roman Emperors, started a cathedral in Speyer, now a World UNESCO site. Speyer is also the location of one of the first significant Jewish communities in the Holy Roman Empire and remained so for a thousand years. This is testified by just tracing the Ashkenazi surname of Shapiro whose variants include, Szpira/Spiro, and Speyer. Unfortunately, it is also one of the first sites of a pogrom perpetrated by one of the first armies to head to the Holy Land for the First Crusade. I promised back in the beginning of these Posts some five years ago that I would do my best to keep it “light”, but when History throws something in your lap and it is needed to balance out the equation, then I feel disposed to include the things that, left unsaid, would just leave gaping holes in any complete explanations. I do hope that you will agree. On the brighter side, soon after the Iron Curtain fell in 1989, the Jewish population began to grow again in Speyer and their first service since WWII was held in 1996.

            Another ‘brighter side’ item needs to be mentioned here also. This is our Guides doing, not anything that was coerced….. they did it on their own…. they all did not hesitate to acknowledge what happened in WWII, particularly with having to do with the Holocaust. They took responsibility for their country’s actions and for their grandparents’ complicity with it all and they thanked us, as Americans, for our country’s part in bringing all of that to an end. It is good when the elephant in the room gets identified.

            Speyer was also the site for the Quest for Women’s Shorts. You see, unfortunately the Laundry Gang sort of ‘lost’ Paula’s pair of blue shorts. This was a bit of a dilemma because the packing for this voyage was on the light side (not like an extended ocean voyage) because not only were we to be gone for just fourteen days, but for half of it we had free laundry service that came with our Room Suite. So, being down half of the ‘shorts required’ was on the disturbing side. Besides, those were her fav’s. Nickolay, our Room Steward was beside himself even though it was obviously not his fault. He began his Quest, and he was unrelenting but alas, the Shorts must have jumped overboard as no trace could be found anywhere. The Captain ordered a room-to-room search involving our heavily armed security team. Everyone had to vacate their rooms until the search was completed and many an evil eye was cast in Paula’s direction while the Inspection was being completed. Again, no positive results. The Captain gave everyone onboard a Free Cocktail to make up for the hassles of the Big Inquisition so in the end, Paula became a heroine, and everyone wished for another Search so they could get another Free Cocktail.

            We found a nice store on the main drag that sported women’s clothing and picked out a dandy pair of blue shorts. Problem solved. That evening Nickolay came by with an exquisite box of Lindt Chocolates, courtesy of Viking, as a Peace Offering which was heartily (at least on my part) accepted. It was then that I tried my best to have something go missing from my laundry!

            We boarded the ship around noontime and spent the afternoon up on the Sun Deck on our way to Rüdesheim where we were to have our next excursion, ‘Dine en Rüdesheim’ complete with a great little three-piece band. The restaurant was as authentic as they come, we were outside under the usual coverings that might help if it didn’t rain too much but all was good, and the weather remained under control. The restaurant was located on the Drosselgasse, which has its beginnings way back in the 15^th century when the Port was a bustling trade city. All of the Bier Haus’s were located along this six-foot wide alley that ran up from the waterfront. Today it is still the location of most of the hospitality related business in town. Paula got involved with the ‘activities’ which left me (thankfully) to stay behind and record the moments for posterity. See attached!

                        We boarded the little tram that brought us there and back to the ship we went, everyone again singing ’99 bottles of Bier en de Valls’ as raucously as they could. The Shore Patrol was dispatched to quell the disturbance and threatened to throw everyone in the Brig upon our arrival, but we knew they were only foolin’ cuz we got no brig on board, just a locking closet and we definitely wouldn’t all fit in there!

                        The morning would come too soon, and it was Castle Alley on the Rhine which brings us full-circle here. Next Post will be all of the Castles that we saw, and don’t worry, I shot each one, didn’t miss nary a one of ‘em cuz I was up on time!

Tomorrow…. the Castles of the Rhine!

                        For those of you who find a fine glass of wine enjoyable, I hope that you find this Post the same.

                        For those of you who find a middle-of-the-road glass of wine totally acceptable, read on to discover some of the whys and wherefores of the more expensive vintages.

                        For those of you who, (like me one time!) cannot really tell if the wine has slightly ‘turned’ when the bottle is opened, read on just for the fun of it because I doubt if in this late term of life, we will ever be considered connoisseurs!

                        Our next Region of Discovery is just outside of Strasbourg, France…… it is called Alsace. The Alsatians are lucky that their collective existence is even being discussed here as these folks have been (figuratively and literally) torn limb-from-limb over the past two millennia. I’m afraid that even my “Cliff Notes” versions of the back-and-forth occupations, border haggles, and treaty oops’s would have you all screaming and running for cover. So, let’s just say that the most recent occurrence of this once commonplace phenomena was during WWII when Germany reached across the Rhine and said, “You’re all coming back here, thank you very much.” This small but very important example explains why there are parts of Alsace that retain enough ‘local laws’ to make sure that they retain their cultural independence from the rest of France….for now.

                        For our purposes today, we need to know that vineyards first appeared in Roman times when good ol’ J.C. (No not that JC…. this was Julius Caesar. The other JC wouldn’t have an effect until a few years later!) came here and helped the Gaul’s defend themselves against the “Invaders du Jour” of that time. Now we have the beginnings of the French Wine Industry, and they didn’t even know it yet!

                        I’ll fast forward a few centuries so that A,) I won’t bore you to death, and B.) This Post won’t end up reading like a Wine 101 textbook! (I wonder if anyone offers that Course?)

                        The year was 1935 and the Wino Powers in France decided that it would be a good idea to put some restrictions on what could be called what and the reasons for those decisions. This was the beginning of the Appellation Controlee Commission. Translated it means basically ‘Protected Designation of Origin’ and takes everything into consideration……. environment, soil varieties, traditions, location, vine growth habits, and of course, the grapes themselves (these factors except the grapes) can be incorporated into one little word… “terroir” from terre meaning land.  Terroir is as important to defining different wines as the grapes themselves are. In short, it means that you cannot produce Burgandy wine in any other French Region except Burgandy or Champagne must originate in the Champagne region or you can’t call it Champagne, you may however call it Sparkling Wine. You can’t even call it Champagne if you are producing it in another country. That’s how strict (and serious) the French laws are, and it seems that the Wine Industry, even in other countries , takes them very seriously! The ‘teeth’ that puts the ‘enforcement’ of this procedure is partially found in the Treaty of Versailles (WWI) where that term Champagne was specifically dealt with. Retain this info for use a little later on.

                        Probably just about all of you have been to a Wine Tasting or two in your lives. As you may surmise, some are better than others due to the wine itself, location, sense of humor of the ‘presenter’ or even if it was a sunny day or not! Everyone is producing wines now, local wines are all the rage with some obviously better than others. But I have yet to be at one where the vintner did not think (or at least proclaim) that their (insert wine term) was the best. Most of these folks in this HIGHLY competitive industry are very proud of their varied vintages and with good reason, especially when you understand the work that goes into producing wines that you hope and pray that someone else will enjoy and of course, purchase! And specifically, the History of the individual Vineyard can play a crucial role in its credibility. It takes a bunch of years and money to start up one of these enterprises….

Can you imagine the guy first opening up and having his first group of Wine Tasters come thorough….

“Ah, yes, let’s see now…. Welcome to Bill’s Vineyard….we’ve been in existence for, ah,  three and a half weeks”…….(everyone turns to leave)

 “But wait! our Vines are much older and come from some stock that’s over a hundred years old! “ (everyone does an about-face and returns)

Nope, cannot even imagine that one!

How about this one:

            “Bonjour everyone! My name is Michele, and we are here at the Albert Seltz vineyard that is still owned and operated by Monsieur Seltz’s 14^th generation grandson, Jérémy.”

            Ok. Now you’ve got my attention!

            Yes, since 1576, Albert Seltz and his progeny have been producing wines in the Alsace Region of France. On the same farm and in the same buildings! No matter who controlled the area!

                        By now you’ve probably surmised that we participated in a Wine Tasting on this River Cruise and that would be correct. Fortunately for us, Viking seems to hunt down the best of the best when it comes to either Excursions and /or the Guides themselves. This experience was no exception, and this is coming from me, the Chocolate Milk Connoisseur! In this case I am referring to the estate of Albert Seltz and in particularly their successful petition of that grand august body of pompeux, prètentieux, wine sniffing membre’s du (here it is again) Appleation d’origine Contrôlée.

                        Here we must backtrack just a tad and introduce just one more designation in this complex situation and it is the designate, Grand Cru. This regulated term may only be used by approval of the AOC after extensive research and subsequent agreement is reached that a particular vineyard  (not region) has proven that their terroir is so selective and specific that they, and only they, can produce that variety of vine that meets this further standard. As you may imagine, it’s a big damn deal!

                        So that’s where we went.  We traveled to the tiny village of Mittelbergheim, Alsace, France. Doesn’t sound very French, does it? Welcome to Alsace! The Amalgam of Western Europe! Our bus barely fit down the tiny roads, but it did and soon we were deposited in front of the main gate of the centuries old estate. From here I will refer back to when I described the two different greetings from the two different wineries, the second one of course is our visit for today. Michele greeted us and transported us back in time by ushering us down into the cellars of Albert Seltz where we heard the family story and proceeded to taste their wines.

                        As you may imagine, the afternoon was huge success both for the Imbibers and the Vintners! The only downside was that the bus was not going to risk almost getting stuck again so we had to hike (uphill!) to edge of town and board there. Not particular hard to do unless the local temps were topping out at 97 and the walkers had just consumed ‘several’ glasses of wine!

                                    We all eventually fell asleep on the bus but not until we sang a few rounds of “99 Bottles of Wine on the Wall.”

                                                “Hic!”