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One of the big draws to this cruise was the “Scenic Cruising” in Chile along Glacier Alley, the Chilean Fjords, and around Puerto Montt.

            First, we must practice how to pronounce the word Glacier.

            To the uninitiated, you may think that it would sound like glay-shur.

                                                Hah!

                                                Since we are all cultured here and have all graduated (with Honors) from the Galactic University of Higher Learning, Earth Campus, and even though those credentials may be suspect, we should at least sound like we are snickery-smart! So, from now on we will pronounce the word that conjures up images of the Ice Planet of Hoth, as glaah-see-ur….. as in sounding like a graduate of Cambridge or Oxford.

Try it.

Glaaah-see-ur……

See?

Now, don’t you feel like going on Jeopardy?

                        Now that we are all so educated we also know that there are about 200,000 glaciers in the world and that the vast majority of them are in Antarctica and Greenland. And quite a few of us have taken advantage of the Field Trip and Outside Learning Opportunities for undergrads and have been on Expeditions, mainly to Alaska on one of those Sometimes Learning, Always Gambling, and Eating Fancy Floating Hotel Resorts that regularly ply those waters in the Summer. Some of us (Karen!) have even been to Antarctica to gather facts and souvenirs to bring back for Show ‘n Tell. (This is only for those who are working on their Doctorates in Penguinolgy and Glacierwatchingology.)

                        Our particular Field Trip was quite successful when it came to Glacial Inventory and V.E.M.B.S. (Very Early Morning Breakfast Snacks) The latter were needed because our Floating Classroom always came upon Items of Interest very early in the morning.

                        The first Big Item was the Amalia Glacier which comes right down into the fjord. This allowed the Ship to cruise as close to the Glacier as was permitted. Since we were the only ship there we were able to stay and actually perform a 360 degree turn as if there was an axis protruding from the center of the ship. The Amalia is about a half mile wider than the Mendenhall in Alaska (for comparison purposes) coming in at two miles wide and thirteen miles long. I mentioned that it sits on a fjord, one of the many in this part of Chile. Most “real” fjords exist only in Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand, Chile, and of course, Norway. There are specific criteria that pertains to fjords and their designation as such. They must be longer than they are wide, and the sides need to descend down into the water, with no real “beaches” or land protruding. Suffice to say that these waterways down here are considered the real deal and are quite spectacular in their own right. Throw in a few glaciers and we’ve got a real winner of a visit to this region.

                        I mentioned yesterday that getting the Posts written in a timely manner with all of the excursions and early morning “drive-bys” of Natural Wonders of Highly Significant Interest happening was hard to do. For example, the Amalia Glacier was booked for a 6:00 am arrival and even though we were scheduled to hang around for a bit, the excitement on board was palpable and most folks were lining the rails as we approached it. The rail up on Deck 16 was jammed three deep so I retreated to a more suitable position on Deck 7, technically the Promenade Deck.

The view was a little bit lower than from the top but there was practically no one there so I had the run of the rail and used that to my advantage as I did not need to jettison anyone overboard (and get thrown in the Brig for a third time!) There were small chunks of the glacier that had fallen off the main body. This process is called calving and is quite spectacular and dangerous when larger pieces let go of Mama. Luckily for us all we had were small, floating Bergie Bits, no large icebergs or anything dangerous.

                        The day after Punta Arenas whilst on our way to Ushuaia, the furthest south city in the world, we sailed through a slot called Glacier Alley where we saw five or so other glaciers in different states of being. Remember it’s the start of the summer season down here and/but there is still snow on the mountains even though those mountains are not even 3000 feet above sea level. This “event” commenced around 05:30 and was in full swing at 07:00. We passed glacier after glacier down here, some more spectacular than others, but that is to be expected. For those of you that have been on the Alaska Field Trip you will know what I mean!

                        That classic blue tint that is inherent to glaciers was present in some of them and I suspect that if we had a sunnier day then we would have seen even more. That bluish tint/look that is characteristic to glaciers comes from the light that “escapes” from the ice. Sunlight wavelength’s longer than blue tend to get trapped in the ice while the shorter, bluer wavelengths can wiggle through and escape to be “seen”. The examples are fascinating and kind of eerie in a way as they almost “glow” with that blueish tint. Think of the ice as assort of vice-principal prism/filter that separates the light’s wavelengths and lets the blue ones out for recess while holding all the others in for a detention. We don’t care because we like the Blue Kids better anyway!

                        The rest of the day is what this industry terms “Scenic Cruising” instead of another Day at Sea and we couldn’t agree more!

On to Ushuaia which I can neither pronounce correctly nor spell, so be prepared for another Phonics lesson!

                        It’s been a busy few days down here in Chile and Argentina. Lots of Photo Ops at crazy hours because that’s when the Ship sailed by them! This severely impacted my “work” time as these times were early in the morning. Toss is a string of Excursions, and you may be able to see why I’m so far behind!

                                    Anyway, I need to go back to Christmas Eve and our visit to Punta Arenas, Chile. I’m going to have to admit to you that this particular day was a little disappointing and it all started about a month ago when our Tours by Locals guide either realized that they should have made themselves “unavailable” for that day because even though they gave us a month’s notice (and TBL did work overtime trying to find a replacement) no one made themselves available to us. We ended up booking with Viator, another private tour organizer. The difference is that we got an employee of a Tour Operator rather than a Guide Owner which is what TBL Guides are, they own their business and use TBL as a broker and coordinator of sorts, which accounts for the superb service that we always get.

                                    Nicholas was our Guide for the day and at all of his 26 years of age, did a fine job of escorting us around his city and environs. Nicholas was very proud of the efforts made by the local government to rehabilitate older sections of industrial areas and convert them into usable spaces for public enjoyment.

                        Punta Arenas is not that old a city. Most of the early settlers were here in the mid-1800’s and as usual the first thing that it was used for was a penal colony. It seems that quite a few of the further-reaches outposts were genesisized by this need/method. In time everybody made nice and just kicked the can further down the coast to the next, “Hey! Let’s keep ‘em here! Nobody wants to be here!” spot on the map until the previous scenario repeated itself several times until they ran out of continent!

                        Punta Arenas soon became a coal stop for the steam powered ships of its time. Coal was discovered just north of here and quickly it became one of the largest industries, practically taking over the waterfront, sharing it of course with the fishing fleet of the day. Nowadays the Waterfront is filled with esplanades, monuments, and gathering places for everyone in the city. According to Nicholas, coming down here with your family is one of the favorite things for the peeps to do.

                        We then ventured further into the City, stopping at the Place de Armas, which every city has one of. This is the central plaza and is always dedicated to the Military hence the name, Place de Armas. The central statue/monument is a representation of Magellan and since Punta Arenas sits directly on the Strait of Magellan seems aptly named. The trees here are both gorgeous and on the older side, some of which are several hundred years old, even though they are not possessing a diameter of greatness. (I can’t believe that I just wrote that like I am translating speaking different language!) Suffer through it you must! 😊

                        Apparently one of Punta Arenas most popular tourisimo atractiones is the local cemetery. I must admit that it is quite unlike anything that we have ever seen and is rather remarkable in its design and mission. The photos will explain better than I can….. all I can add is that the result of this planning was surprisingly successful because as we walked through the paths surrounded by these trees of privacy, one felt rather isolated and I dare say serene, all at the same time. It was unique to say the least.

                        Our last spot required a ride quite a way out of town along the coast road which was a nice respite from the city. Our destination was the first fort in the area, and it was easy to see why this location was initially chosen as the view of the Strait was unequalled by anywhere else in the region. The fort was erected in 1844 and was rehabilitated one hundred years later in 1944. That in itself, at 80 years old, made everything look as if it was from back when it was first constructed.

                        Our four hours flew by, and we eventually ended up back at our ship. A Feliz Navidad to Nicholas and his driver were warmly returned to us and even though the day was not what we initially thought that we were going to have, we learned that just about any experience given by a local person who is proud of their home can end up being a very satisfying day. Nicholas received a very nice review from us as he certainly deserved it.

            That Red #12 Bus Tour was the last of the Big Group Tours that we had booked. The rest are private tours, either with Tours by Locals or Viator. This will help make everything a bit more personal and we will probably learn a lot more details about where we are going and what we see.

In the meantime, I have selected some random pics that I’ve taken over the last few days.

Commentary has been added for your amusement.          

I guess that the line in Big Yellow Taxi by Joanie Mitchell can be applied here….

                        You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone….

                        The converse of that may be true also.

                        If you’ve never had it, then it is impossible to miss it.

                        Some things stick out and smack you in the face when traveling to, in and around, and from places other than the ones which are familiar to us…… so let’s throw Joanie in here and add that consequences can go both ways. We usually conjure up thoughts of negative consequences when the subject comes up but when you think of it, the possibility of positive consequences is equally available. Most of the time it’s just our perspective.

                        Another anachronism from the past goes like this…. be careful what you wish for….

                        If you mix all of these ingredients together and don’t have an agenda, then just realizing that they are there becomes the reality of this example.

                        Ok Donny, you’ve definitely been hanging out in the Engine Room sniffing the degreasers…..What in the name St. Verbose and all that’s wordy are you even talking about?

                        I’m going to great lengths to try and make sure everyone understands that I am not judging here, not one little, teeny-tiny bit, I’m just observing. See photos and observations below.

The Great What’s Going On Here Caper

On to stuff that’s way more mundane!

From down here in Penguin Paradise Paula and I wish you all a peaceful holiday season…. Kwanza, Hanukkah, and Christmas all bring the message of Peace on Earth, Good will to Everyone to the forefront.

Wouldn’t that be nice 🙂

                        The largest recorded earthquake (in modern times?) was here in Chile on May 22, 1960, which was rated a 9.5, and it lasted for an incredible 10 minutes! Since then, almost every year has had an earthquake, and they are all registered at over a 7.0! So why was I surprised to find a string of volcanos down here just inside the coast?

                        Because I never put two and two together to come up with an 8.5! Of course volcanoes and earthquakes are related! Don’t worry, I am not going to launch into another diatribe of Mr. Plate Tectonics and his Friends, I’ve bored you all enough with that while on the World Cruise. But nevertheless, here we are in one of the most “active” regions on the planet.

                        Since we were basically clueless to just about everything having to do with Chile, we chose Excursions that sounded like fun. So, Volcanoes, Waterfalls, and Lunch! sounded just right.

                        We pulled into Puerto Montt, a small city on an inland bay that served as our starting point. This was the first of (too) many Ports where we will need to use the Tenders to get back and forth from the dock to the ship. We were strategic members of the illustrious Red 12 (stickered) group. This was a popular activity because we found out that there were groups from Red 9 all the way through to Red 13 who all had the same itinerary, thankfully on different buses!

The competition was fierce between all of us as the drivers maneuvered themselves around jockeying for position, trying their best to have their respective Group arrive at the destinations first (assuring themselves of good tips!) We were highly successful in this endeavor as Francisco (our driver) managed to squeeze through impossible opportunities on the highway and we only needed to knock two of the other buses off the road.  One ended up in a ravine but thankfully all passengers escaped with only minor injuries. On the plus side, we were able to snag their desserts from lunch since they were all at the hospital.

                        Our first stop was the Osorno Volcano which resembles either Mt. Fuji or Mt Kilimanjaro depending on whether you favor Japan or Tanzania. It has that classical conical volcano shape to it, see photo!

                        Osorno has an elevation of 8,701 feet and because of its location in the Lake Region, the surrounding area is rather flat assuring those around it with a 360-degree view. It is still considered one of the more active volcanoes in the Southern Andes with the last eruption happening in 1869. But the previous 300 years had it erupting eleven times helping it attain that ranking. Today Mt. Osorno is a popular skiing mountain as there is snow on its higher levels twelve months out of the year. Hiking and regular sightseeing round out the reasons for the rest of us to come here. The views are spectacular as to the south you can see right into the backbone of the southern Andes.

                        On the other side of it however, you can see Mt. Calbuco which last erupted in 2015. No one was hurt, but it was quite spectacular as Chloe (our guide) was present and snapped a photo of it that she shared with all of us. This event was totally by surprise and illustrates the unpredictability of our ever-changing tectonic activity. I was lucky and found this one on the internet and it resembles Chloe’s almost exactly.

                        Our next stop was to get us even closer to Mt. Calbuco as the Petrohue River winds its way around its base and is quite spectacular in its color, clarity, and nature. Waterfalls abound and this entire area is accessible to most folks as it is now one the regions favorite Parks.

                                    Back in the mid/late 1800’s the Chilean government passed a curious law entitled the Law of Selective Immigration and its goal was to encourage immigrants of a medium social/high class cultural development to colonize areas of Chile, one of which was this local Lake Region. The results were that they had small towns and the like resembling areas such as Bavaria and the Black Forest in all aspects, including traditions, architecture, and industries. Today there are about 20,000 folks in Chile that still speak German and there are German schools and publications in these regions.

                                    Puerto Varas is one of the towns in the Lake Region sitting on the shores of a huge (215,000 acres) lake, Lake Llanquihue (pronounced yzan-kew-ee according to the Magic Translate Person inside Google). I suspect that it, and the town, would have more German-sounding names if the immigration had preceded the already established town and area!

Our lunch was at the Buena Vista Hotel which lived up to its name as it was directly on the shore of the lake with Mt. Osorno sitting firmly on the horizon. The entire town had a European feel to it, particularly the buildings which resembled chalets and the like.

                        We were informed before we left the ship in the morning that the last Tender would depart the Town Dock at 4:00pm as the ship was to sail shortly thereafter. When we were on the bus Chloe asked when the last boat back to the ship was and she was told 4:00 pm to which she replied, “Good, we will leave Puerto Varas at 3:30, it takes a half hour to make that distance.”

            That would be fine if everything else was equal but (here it comes!) all of the other Excursions did exactly the same thing!

Oops! this is not good!

When we arrived at the dock there were probably close to 2000 passengers in line waiting for the Tenders.

            It was 3:59 pm.

Oops – Oops!!

There is no way to transport 2000 people, 150 at a time, across a half-mile of water in less than one minute! It would take the Starship Enterprise and a very quick-thinking Mr. Scott longer than that to beam everyone aboard in time!

Oops-Oops -Oops!!!

…. ah… forget about it! They can’t leave with that many of us still on shore…. Very, very bad press would be someone’s legacy!

So, gradually we all made it back to the ship and as the last tender was being hoisted up and into its berth, the Captain put the petal to the metal (so to speak) gunned the throttles and burned rubber all the way out of the harbor.

            The townsfolks thought that the volcano had erupted once more as the smoke from our getaway is still hanging there.

                                    It is a fact that the coldest temperature ever recorded is on the East Antarctic Plateau and that temperature is a whopping minus 144 degrees Fahrenheit!

                                    So why in the name of all that’s freezer-burned are you traveling down that way at this time of year? It’s almost Christmas, it’s snowing here, and the days are getting shorter and shorter!

                                    I’m glad you asked that Mr. Popsicle!

                        Remember, everything down here is reversed! The Winter in the Southern Hemisphere starts on June 21^st, and the summer starts on December 21^st! Which means that our brains are going kerflooey with trying to wrap themselves around the fact that we usually associate DecemBrrrrr……… with COLD! But here we are only a few days away from what is usually the shortest daylight day of the year, and now we’re experiencing another Longest Day! (We already had ours back in June, so this is quite the treat, and we feel very selfish that we get TWO of these days this year!)

                        By the time that we round Cape Horn at a latitude 56 degrees SOUTH latitude (the equivalent spot up north is Copenhagen, Denmark and Omsk, Russia) so you can see that as far south as we are, there’s still plenty of distance to cover before we’d hit the South Pole.

Now, to give you a bit of perspective…. the tip of Cape Horn is as far away from the South Pole as NYC is from San Francisco! But….. the Drake Passage is only around 600 miles wide, so in theory, Cape Horn is only 600 miles from the nearest part of Antarctica which makes it a little easier for “Explorer” type passenger ships to bring fare-paying Adventure Passengers to Antarctica! (I am trying to convince the Captain to blow off the rest of the Itinerary and take us there so that we can ‘March with the Penguins’!

                        I can see the headlines now…… 3500 travelers stranded at the bottom of the world after crazed passenger hijacks the Majestic Princess in order to “get to Antarctica!”

                        My daughter Lorelyn once told me that one of her criteria for deciding whether to do something (or not!) was how was it going to read in the morning papers…..

Hmm….maybe we could just do a “drive-by”?

By the time that you read this we will have experienced our Longest Daylight Day. It was yesterday and we had an excursion to some volcanoes and waterfalls in Puerto Varas, Chile. To give you a brief preview all I will say is that it was Magnificent(!) and that that particular Post is just waiting to be written, all of the photos have been assembled and are just itching to be shown…… soon!

            It was still daylight when I went to bed last night and it’s almost daylight now, so I’d better get a move on here… in the immortal words of John Wayne,

 “C’mon boys, we’re burnin’ daylight!”

And as much of that as we have, I don’t want to waste one little minute!

The Captain deserves a Standing Ovation for his close quarters maneuvering yesterday. We were in San Antonio Chile, which is the Port for Santiago, Chile’s capital and largest city. This was (as usual) a Container Port and was busy as such.

A few days ago, there was a segment of “Crew Call” with the Captain which was held in the theater because of its popularity. He explained a lot about being at Sea and other aspects of his job and its duties. There was a Q & A at the end. During this time, we learned that he prefers to back into a berth (if he is allowed) and that he, in fact, does bring the Ship in and out of Port.

The “pilot” comes on board right before entering the administrative zone of a harbor and is there strictly to assist in the safe navigation of the harbor. The Pilot knows the local waters, and any of the dangers, both recent and permanent, that lay submerged under the water. The Captain retains full command of his vessel at all times. He can choose to override any of the “suggestions” that the Pilot may have, but he or she best be sure because if they are wrong, and have gone against the Pilot’s recommendations, and it results in an issue, they can kiss their careers goodbye.

There is only one place in the world where a Captain relinquishes command of his vessel and that is for a Panama Canal Transit. And after seeing what this encompasses on our World Cruise, you can understand the highly technical nature of this maneuvering demands an experienced Canal Navigator in charge.

On to yesterday!

We were berthed as far into Port as is possible, bow in, which means that we needed either to turn around or back out. Remember the Captain prefers to back in, so that he doesn’t have to back out.

Well, as things would have it, another big container ship came in behind us during the day which kind of sandwiched us in between them and the front of the berth (land) in front of us. (See diagram) The rest of this scenario will play out mainly with photos. I needed to run back and forth, port to starboard in order to try and capture the finesse needed to extricate the ship from its berth. All of this was accomplished without the assistance of tugboats although they were wisely standing by in case of emergency.

On with the process!

I hope that you have enjoyed this blow-by-blow description of our efforts to get underway safely. It was quite an experience to be on board, and it demonstrated the seafaring ability of our Captain and his crew very nicely.

                        I am probably the least qualified to address you on the next subject of our Port Excursion/Tour that we had in San Antonio, Chile.

 And that subject is Wine Tasting.

I am far more qualified on addressing the better qualities of a good glass of milk than I am on a bad glass of wine.

But Princess did not offer an Excursion to a local Dairy Farm for Milk Tasting……. consequently, here I am. Glinda always said that “It is always best to start at the beginning” …. so, hang onto your screwcaps ‘cuz here we go……….

Along time ago, in a vineyard far, far, away……

 The Greeks brought some form of winemaking to southern France in the 6th century BC. The Romans added their two denarii when it was still called Gaul, a little later the Monks chanted in, adding their expertise since they owned the best vineyards until the French Revolution when they were confiscated (along with the ones that the Nobility owned). Fast-forward to sometime in the 19^th century and the Bordeaux Classification, which is considered the start of modern winemaking and classification system.

The End.

                        Can I get an Amen(!)?

Being able to identify, comment on, and really put forth an informed opinion on a glass of wine has always been a secret desire of mine.

                                                Really Donny? You don’t even like wine!

                                                Yea, I know. I was just pullin’ your cork!

                                                I couldn’t give two snifters about it but I’m the one writing this thing! Nonetheless, I do have a hefty respect for the folks that are truly informed and can perceive a nuanced hint of loamy vanilla/peachy earth from a taste of a 2018 Domaine Vigneau-Chevreau with their eyes closed. That particular wine was not what we had on the wine tasting. We had three samplings of a fine winemaker in Chile, Matetic Vineyards. We sampled a Syrah, Sauvignon Blanc, and a Pinot Noir. I started this report with the French because it was them that really got this industry growing….  😊

                                    But much to their chagrin, (watch the movie “Bottle Shock” 2008, Alan Rickman, Bill Pullman, and Chris Pine…..it’s a hoot and it’s a true story!) the rest of the world chimed in and said, “Hey! We’ve got some great soil and climate too! And we’re not snobby either! People will buy our stuff just to piss you off!”

                                    And the rest is history….. and a lot of wine! The world beat a path to the other really good regions for winemaking and lo and behold, just about anyone can have a vineyard! (Results are not guaranteed and may vary, you should check with your local vintner to be sure….. ) But, yup, here we were in the foothills outside of San Antonio, Chile which just happens to be on the same latitude (but South) as Napa Valley in California! What a ka-winky-dink! And…… their stuff is good too!

                                    Now, let’s be honest here, I have no idea if it is good or not, but all of those Wine Experts over at Wine Spectator, Wine Enthusiast, and SOMM Magazines have all declared that several of the Chilean wines rank right up there with some of the best in the world. Including the French. So there we were, all forty of us, getting schnozzed on, and listening to an impressive talk on wines, how and what affects their ….. well, everything! And how this particular vineyard works Nature into the process and produces over 400,000 bottles of wine a year!

                        Having, or not having, the appropriate knowledge of wines and the intricate procedures that go into their formative developments does not take anything away from the fact that just the miniscule tweaking of any of these factors can alter a wine and either ruin it, or maybe make it better(?) or in fact, result in an entirely new taste of a particular varietal.

                        Hey Donny! You almost sound like you know something!

                        Nope….. it’s just common sense.

                        If you take anything that is organic in nature and alter the factors that make it what it is, it stands to reason that you will probably affect the end outcome. I guess that this is the fascinating aspect of winemaking that rings true whether you like wine or not….. and it’s these nuances that make this industry and its productions fun for that aficionado, connoisseur, or whatever you want to call a wine enthusiast.

                        In the case of the growers in Chile, they are blessed with a good climate, some incredible soils, and a European influence that dates back to the Colonial Period. Plus, they are in the Southern Hemisphere which has its season reversed from the Northern Hemisphere which means that if you are well-to-do European Baron (or Baroness!) and want an Estate to travel to when it’s cold up North…… you get where this is going.

                        So now you are probably wondering if these tastings were any good. According to my own sommelier, Madam Paula, they were very nice. Nice enough to acquire two bottles and hopefully sneak back into the USA. This is another aspect of this Wine Thing that is fascinating…… buying the wines that you taste when visiting the Winery. First, you have to pay for the wines at a “tasting”. Then when it’s all over they escort you to the Retail Place, and you get to buy (again) the wines that you just tasted.

Brilliant!

                                    To me, that’s like paying for a Ford Factory Tour, they let you handle a few parts, maybe an alternator, a brake caliper, and some lug nuts, and then they bring you to a showroom where they dump you so that you can buy a few cars or trucks to take home with you!

                                                            Only kidding!

                                                            It was fun participating with those forty new best friends from the Ship, Paula did like the wines, and even though I am usually the Designated Driver, the Bus Driver refused to let me drive back to the Ship informing me that he had seen me with my three samples of the Vino…..

                                    So, to get my revenge, I led everyone on the bus in a raucous rendition of “99 Bottles of Wine on the Wall”…. 

                                                Until….. we arrived back at the Ship where I was promptly slapped into the Brig and put on a diet of milk and cookies and was told I would stay there until I behaved better.

Glinda was in the next cell.

I’m gonna be bad for a long time.

                        Not sure where to start with this one. I think that this port was tossed in “just because”.  They did have a spot for us to dock so I’m confident that they have a semi-permanent Cruise Ship presence there. But I’m not sure what the draw is. I need to be careful here and not come across the way that I’m afraid of sounding……. like some snobby travelers.

                        The town is La Serena, and it is as nice a big/little town as you’ll find anywhere. Large central plaza, local cathedral, good sized market, and friendly people. If we had had more time here it would have been the perfect town to spend a day in trying that “immersion” technique, but we really only had a half day here as “All Aboard” was around 1:30pm. We needed to leave by then to make our next Port, that of San Antonio (not Texas!) for the city of Santiago, Chile. In San Antonio we will end the first “Voyage” or “segment” of the larger 51-day full voyage. So about 800 passengers are disembarking here and about 1200 new souls will be boarding. This “leg” will go for about three weeks and disembark in either Rio de Janeiro or Buenos Aires, I’m not sure which one. But it allows people to take a smaller voyage without signing up for the whole thing. In this case, this voyage is particularly interesting for locals as they can board the ship on one side of the continent and disembark on the other, not needing a long-distance flight to get back home.

            Anyway, back to why we may have called in La Serena.

                                                My Theory:

                                    I’ve tried to understand how Cruise Lines even stay in business as the expense side of the ledger is prohibitively large (in my un-informed opinion). One of the decisions that need to be made when planning a Cruise Ship voyage is a very important one….. which Ports will be called at.

                                    While this may seem to be kind of fundamental, there are a lot of factors that need to be weighed in. Some Ports are a must have, some are tossed in to help fill in some time and I suspect that our last one, La Serena, was one of those. From what we’ve experienced there seems to be a 50/50 ratio utilized i.e. 51-day voyage equals about a twenty+ schedule of Ports, or like the World Cruise, 111-days equaled 50+ ports of call. Other mitigating factors:

• Availability …… Don’s Cruise Line wants to pull into Friendlytown, on the island of St. Chocolate on February 14^th but they find that there are already three other ships in Port that day and that is the capacity of their Cruise Dock. They can check if the Port will allow them to Tender in, but that is unpopular with the passengers and the Port may, in fact, have a limit on how many “Invaders” they allow in Port at a time.
• Cost …… All Ports are not created equal and there are costs associated with docking. A Port does not invest quadrillions into special docks, tugboats, Immigration Personnel, etc. without expecting a return on their investment. I think we can be reasonably assured that it costs more to pull into a larger, more popular Port like NYC, than it does to pull into Friendlytown. How much that difference is I have no idea, but the fact remains is that there are costs involved into pulling into a Port.

Pulling into La Serena, which would seem to be on the less expensive side, allowed the Line to add another Port of Call onto the 51-day Cruise even though we only spent a few hours there.

Just a theory.

                                    Our excursion for the day was “La Serena on Your Own” or in other words, a Bus Ride into, and back out of, Town. We expected to get on the Bus, be dropped off, and told what time we needed to be back at the pick-up point. What we received was much more and in fact, the kid that was “in charge” of us “made” the trip in our opinion.

                                    Matias is a History Teacher by trade and that teacher thing came roaring out the minute he picked up the busses microphone. We were peppered with facts, figures, anecdotes, and helpful information on the way in and even had a song (he played a local stringed instrument akin to a ukulele) on the way back to the ship. In the meantime, we had the choice of being “On our Own” or just following him to the Museum and then the Market. We were then expected to wander back to the pickup spot that was conveniently directly down the avenue from the Market. No chance of getting lost!

                                    The Market was a good size, many Tourist Shops all selling the same goods and the “pestering sales pitch” was thankfully at a minimum. The museum was local and had quite a few indigenous examples of former civilizations including a Moai from Easter Island. I’m sure that you’ve seen examples of these in photos. I’ve always wanted to experience a real one, so we took this opportunity to see it. Easter Island would have been fantastic but that will have to wait for one of those “Expedition-type” cruises!

                        The “Yellow 12” stickered group was well-behaved and quite punctual as we left our pick-up point directly at 12:30, our appointed time and the ride back to the ship went quickly as we did not have the mornings traffic like we had on the way in.

                        So, that was our Port for the day, La Serena lived up to its name as we experienced nothing that wasn’t serene in nature and when travelling, maybe that is the goal!

Our stop in Paracas, Peru was one perfect example of having something fall into your lap and being more than pleasantly surprised. The Traveller in all of us has heard about many of the places that we’ve all visited over the years. It’s these better-known places that whet your appetite for travel…… they actually get us off the couch and get us going…… and it’s then that we find that the side-trip becomes the most memorable!

                        When we booked this Cruise, the object was to spend another 51 days at sea, go around Cape Horn in a hurricane, and see some sights along the way. Peru has been just delightful, our day with Sandra in Lima was perfect…. then we sailed into Paracas.

                                    Where?

                                    Paracas!

                                    Where??

              You know…. Paracas….down in the Pisco Province!

            Oh…. right…. Ok…. that Paracas…. Got it!……. Where???

            I recommend a map at this point…. Go ahead…..I’ll wait.

                        Just an overnights sail southward brings us to the tiny little village of Paracas whose population quadruples when a Cruise Ship pulls into their little Container Port. At this point the obvious question is why Paracas. It’s not a great location…. it’s right on the edge of the Atacama Desert which runs from Chile up to Peru and is one of the driest places on the planet.

Remember Lima with less than a half inch of rain per year?

Well, Lima looks like Noah used it as his home port when compared to Paracas!

Paracas is the gateway to the Ballestas Islands and the Paracas National Reserve. There is also an offshore fuel transfer station and a fish processing plant, mainly for fish oils and the like.

                        We had another outstanding Tours by Locals, this time with Karina. She was to show us all around this area, again sans crowded buses. We were picked up right at the Ship because just recently the Tour Guides were allowed access to this smaller Port instead of the fiasco like Lima where we needed to take the Shuttle out of the Port and into town. From our Port we headed around the bay and arrived in Paracas, whose sole existence seems to rely on a lot of folks coming here to play. There is an extensive desert playground suited for dune buggies and the like and the Islas Ballestas can only be seen by boat (no landing there, it’s part of the Reserve). This is by far the most popular activity to do judging by the multitudes of boats loaded with about thirty (or so) curious passengers…. and there were probably about twenty-five of those boats plying the waters between the village and the Islands, about seven miles away. Each boat makes several trips a day.

                        I watched these boats depart with umpteen-plus passengers each fighting for the coveted “outside, on the rail position” for best viewings and decided we could do better. I asked Karina to find out how much it would cost to have our own boat. This is where that VCF (Value vs Cost Factor) comes into play. Getting a boat that normally holds a “boatload” of passengers and going out with only three aboard is going to cost extra…… but, when the captain’s sole mission is to get these three passengers into spots that he wouldn’t bring an entire boat into, and the fact that we had every “outside, on the rail” seat entirely to ourselves… well, I’m just going to let the photos speak for themselves and let you be the judges as to if it was worth it or not!

                        Karina was quite happy and thrilled because she had never taken a private boat out to the Islands! The village sits on a large bay and the Islands are outside the bay about four miles offshore. The ride through the bay, and past the Majestic Princess, was quite smooth.  We stopped at a navigation buoy that had several sea lions sunbathing on it.

Our next Point of Interest was on our way out into the ocean. There, up on a great sloping dune, sat what is locally known as the “Candelabra”. This ancient etching is believed to be about a thousand years old and barely anything is known or verified about it. (Think of the Nazca Lines only over here.) It measures 120 meters by 80 meters and the furrows are several feet deep. After that point, the ride became a little rough 😊until we approached the group of several islands where both we, and the waves, slowed down a bit.

                        These islands have been the home to countless species of birds for thousands of years. I can’t imagine how much guano was harvested by the lucky first guy who came upon them! Now that harvest occurs every seven years and is coordinated by the Peruvian government, the old equipment is still being used to this day and is highly visible.

                        The waters in and around these rocks and islands is quite tumultuous and it was then when I appreciated the fact that Christian (our Captain) had made us all don life vests soon after we left the dock. Christian deftly maneuvered his boat in and around small coves and passageways getting us as close as he dared to the little critters that inhabit this archipelago.

The ride back to the dock took about thirty minutes and by then the winds had picked up a little more. I felt sorry for the multitude of passengers that were still waiting on the docks to board their boats for the outbound voyage. Those would be the last boats of the day as it just gets too rough in the afternoon for anyone to venture out safely.

            Still rocking, we did our best to walk back to our Land Vehicle and drive to our next stop, a very local, family-run enterprise of textile weavers, makers, and jewelry artisans. We were given a very complete synopsis of both textile and jewelry making, complete with great examples of each step along the way. This is the part where I wish that we had lots of room for “Items for Purchasing” because what we were shown was just incredible stuff, and I would have procured many a piece if it were possible. (I did make one little purchase!)

                        After bidding adios to our new artist friends we drove out of town and into the desert. Maybe that deserves a better explanation. The town is in the desert, and we drove out past where the town just stops, the desert was there all along!

                        The Atacama Desert is the driest non-polar desert on earth and even though we are in what is considered the fringe of the Atacama, it was still really dry! This is evidenced by the evident evidence namely the evident lack of evident evidence.

Got it?

Read: There’s nothing there.

Unless you consider that nothing is a thing then there is something there, but not an evident something.

Got that?

Here are the photos for proof.

                        The weirdest part of this is that the ocean is right there!

                        Right next to this water-starved desert!

It is quite bizarre.

Karina took us to all of the important desert places, all within the Reserve, and explained the history and science behind everything that we saw. From the Plate Tectonics to the Paleozoic fossils and on to the make-up of the different local sands, she gave a great understanding of what marvels of geology and geography that are at work here.

                        We were deposited back at our Ship in plenty of time to get a snack before dinner. Hey! ……..we never stopped for lunch…. Too much to do and see!

                                    Hopefully you can get the sense that we really enjoyed Peru, it is definitely one of the friendliest places that we’ve had the pleasure to visit and have the chance to get to know someone!

                                    Ok, guess which city is the largest (in population) in the Americas and no fair looking it up!

                                    Which one is it?

                                    X ?  

Try again! (Sound of Buzzer going off)

                                    How about XXXXX?

                                       Nope!

                                    Ok, here’s my last guess.. XXXXXXXXX?

                                     Wrong again Ms. Population Nerd!

            Did anyone guess São Paulo in Brazil?

                                   I know that I did not!

            So, if they’re first, who slammed into second place?

                                    Yes, our City of the Day, which is our destination and Port for two days, Lima, Peru.

                                    I never would have guessed that either! The numbers are in and depending on how recent the census is that’s being used, Central and South America take most of the top spots. In fact the top 15 Cities by Population in the Americas has 11 of those positions filled by Central and South American cities.

Who woulda thunk that!

            We had our first Tours by Locals outing yesterday courtesy of Sandra, our local TBL Guide. Yesterday was a bit of an ordeal as Lima has no Cruise Terminal and uses its Container Port to dock visiting Cruise Ships. That is fine until it is time to disembark and visit the city (which is what Cruise Ships do!). No one is allowed in or out of the Port unless “escorted” which means busses need to be used to get folks back and forth and that doesn’t mean just to the Port Gate (It’s in a section of town that could be considered ‘undesirable’) it means that the busses must drive about an hour further into downtown and deposit passengers in a central location. All well and good until you take a look at the traffic! Yikes! I thought that NYC and LA were bad! Nope! They’re a walk in the park compared to Lima!

                        Anyway, we were ready for anything. The Ship does an excellent job of directing the items that are within its control so when the announcement the previous day said that the “First Come/First Served” Tickets for the Shuttle Busses would become available at 6am the next day we (the collective “we” …. Paula stayed in the room to guard the pillows) made sure that we got there in plenty of time to obtain tickets for Bus #1 as we had a Tour to get to. We had no idea how long it would take to traverse the city, but we were told it could be an extra hour and a half! So, getting Bus #1 became imperative if we were to be on time for our 9:30 am Tour start.

                                    Unfortunately I was a little late in getting to the spot on the Ship where the tickets were to be distributed and found that I was only 2^nd in line….. missed 1st by about 9 minutes!  Anyway, Tonya (my new Line Friend) and I spent the next hour and a half waiting until 6am to procure our valuable tickets and informing all of the latecomers that the line started HERE, meaning we were FIRST!

                                    Unfortunately (?) (again) we were informed that everything was running early, and that Bus#1 would be ready to leave soon (!) ….. which means that Paula needed to be informed of our new time parameters and status. It was now around 6:05 am and we were quite sure (the day before) that the buses would not be ready until around 7am…..oops!

                                    At this point you would ask …… “What’s the big deal if you miss Bus #1….. just get on the next one!” …. That would be fine except we were informed that if you missed your original Bus then you needed to start the process over, get back on the Ticket Line and procure a ticket for the next one available and there was no telling when that one would be for.

                                    As Yoda would say… “Successful we were…” and we did get on Bus #1 shortly thereafter. The Bus made its way towards the Port exit along with 14 billion of the 15 billion cars and trucks that are around here. As you may surmise, when trying to get somewhere on time in a foreign port where you are at the mercy of EVERYONE, the BTH Ratio (Bad Things Happening) expands exponentially until it no longer matters because you’re dead in the water anyway. There was a massive traffic jam at the Exit/Entrance to the Port and no one did anything about it except honk a lot of horns. Our Bus Driver must have had a Special Relationship with He who Walks on Water, because somehow we managed to extricate ourselves and at least start to exit the Port. Now all we had to do was navigate the normal (very bad) traffic in the city proper. More Blessings were offered up and somehow or other we managed to get to the Indian Market about two (2!) hours before our scheduled meeting time. We concluded that it was better than two hours late, and the fact that Bus #2 (who left ten minutes after we did) arrived at the Indian Market over 2 hours after we did!) illustrating the fact that the normal Traffic Timelines did not apply here in Lima.

                                    Unfortunately, (3^rd time) this meant that we needed to cool our heels on a bench for that time as most of the stalls in the Market were not open yet. And besides, how many Trinket Shops can one visit before you just go SRM? But here are some pics of the wares that were available!

                                                Fortunately, (Yay! Finally!) we were rescued by Sandra, (our TBL Guide) who quickly whisked us away in our very own Minivan driven by Victor whose driving skills could have qualified him for either Formula 1 or NASCAR, both of which he could have won.

                                    Lima is a friendly city. The vibe is energetic without being raucous. Since we were able to let Sir Victor handle the driving, we were able to admire all of the sights that Sandra pointed out on our way to the first stop of the day. Before we get to that, I should say that Lima is a city that requires far more than one day to fully appreciate. I guess that can be said for most large, international cities and Lima is no different. Sandra did an excellent job of helping us see a cross section of her city which she knew like the back of her own hand. That first stop happened to be a great place to start because it was the perfect place to learn the history and back-culture of the peoples of the past, who are now the peoples of the present. Huaca Pucllana is one of the most interesting archaeological sites that we’ve seen anywhere, and the crazy part is that it’s smack dab in the middle of the city!

As large as this site is, it has been determined that it radiates from this spot, an additional five, fifteen, and forty city blocks in three directions, which makes it quite grand in scope. And it pre-dates the Inca civilization by hundreds of years! Huaca Pucllana’s main pyramid measures about 5400 square yards at the base and around 80’ high and consists of an innumerable amount of adobe bricks.

The crazy part is the amount of rain (or lack thereof) this area gets per year, and you need water in order to make adobe (mud). Here again, poor Lima comes in a close second. This time to Cairo, Egypt as the second driest desert city in the world. Lima’s annual precipitation averages a drop over half an inch per year! It is so inconsequential that there are no storm drains, gutters, or anything like that. Even roofs are used more for shelter from the sun rather than rain. Luckily Lima has three rivers that flow out of the Andes that provide enough water for its 11,000,000+ people.

                                    From there we went a bit more towards the city center. Lima has a main street that has been turned into a pedestrian walk. Union Street is lined with all of the shops and restaurants, etc. that you can think of. It was still early in the day, before 11am when most places here open. Their business hours are from 11am to 11pm.

                                    As mentioned briefly (with respect to Huaca Pucllana and earthquakes) one of the dividing time period markers is the earthquake of 1746 (magnitude 9.0, with an accompanying tsunami of about 80’). There are a few buildings that survived that event and are the only pre-colonization buildings still standing. These are quite evident as they have been granted a special status by the Peruvian government’s Department of Really Old Stuff.

                                    Lunch was had at a great little place, courtyard, a nice Peruvian place with a traditional Peruvian menu, et al. Paula was the brave one, having ceviche (fish) which they say is “cooked” in lime juice, but we all know that it’s really “raw”……

                                                I had some beef.

                                                We had a great time with Sandra getting a chance to talk and compare lifestyles and showing family photos. Sandra brought us to a little place to get some Peruvian coffee and she bought us some Peruvian chocolate!

After lunch and a visit to another historic area of Lima we walked and found Victor and our ride. He mastered his way through cross town traffic until we reached the ocean and the base of Morro Solar, a significant “mountain” right on the coast. A very, very narrow and twisty road led us to the top and some stunning views.

I must admit that one day is far too short a time to master an area. Sandra did a wonderful job in giving us the highlights of both the culture and history of Peru and she was an absolute pleasure to spend a day with. Maybe we can just be happy that we were able to spend a day with someone from Lima who loves and cares enough about her city to show it off to a couple of strangers. 😊